How to Set & Achieve Goals: 2 Surprising Science-Backed Steps You Must Follow

Added: Jan 5, 2024

In this podcast episode, Mel Robbins discusses the importance of setting goals and the common mistakes people make when creating a list of goals. She emphasizes the need to get clear about what you want in the present moment, rather than basing your goals on past desires or societal expectations.

Key takeaways

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Dream big and consider what truly matters to you.

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Get quiet and listen to your inner voice for guidance.

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Use a third-person perspective to articulate your goals more clearly.

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Start with an easy milestone to quickly create a sense of progress.

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Share your goals with someone you admire to increase commitment.

The Importance of Setting Goals

Robbins emphasizes the importance of setting goals, as they can lead to increased happiness, a sense of purpose, and a feeling of accomplishment. She also mentions that goals can help individuals overcome negative emotions and provide a sense of direction in life. However, she notes that simply jotting down goals like a grocery list without understanding what you truly want can lead to failure in achieving them.

The Two Major Components of Goal Setting

Robbins introduces the research conducted by Dr. Elliot Burkman at the University of Oregon, which simplifies goal setting into two major components: the will and the way. The will refers to the motivational and emotional aspects of behavior change, or the "why" behind the goal. The way, on the other hand, refers to the cognitive and informational aspects of behavior change, or the "how" of achieving the goal.

Tips for Identifying Personal Goals

Robbins provides tips for identifying personal goals, such as allowing oneself to dream big, considering the end of life to determine what truly matters, getting quiet to listen to one's own voice, and using a third-person perspective to articulate goals. She emphasizes the importance of setting self-concordant goals that are personally relevant, meaningful, and enjoyable.

Refining General Statements into Specific Goals

Robbins encourages listeners to refine their general statements into specific goals using the mentioned components. By asking questions about the importance of the behavior change, the reasons for wanting to change, and the timing of the goal, individuals can clarify the "why" behind their goals. Additionally, considering the specific plans and skills required to achieve the goal helps to define the "how" of behavior change.

Mistakes in Goal Setting

Robbins discusses five common mistakes that people make when setting goals. The first mistake is being too focused on the "how" and neglecting the "why." She shares a personal example of feeling pressured to participate in Dry January without a strong personal motivation, which ultimately led to failure. The second mistake is taking on too many goals at once, which can result in not achieving any of them. The third mistake is setting goals that are either too easy or too difficult, emphasizing the importance of finding the "sweet spot" in goal setting.

The fourth mistake is setting goals that are too general, without specific milestones for success. Robbins uses the example of her goal to spend more time in her garden, which she refines to a specific goal of growing a specific type of flower called a Dahlia. The fifth mistake is not using a high-low range goal, which makes it easier to achieve the goal. Robbins explains that setting a range for the goal, such as journaling between five and seven days a week, can make it feel more achievable.

Practical Steps for Goal Achievement

Robbins provides practical steps for listeners to take in order to define and work towards their goals. She emphasizes the importance of making the first milestone of a goal very easy to achieve, to create a sense of progress. She also encourages listeners to share their goals with someone they admire, as this can increase goal commitment and performance. Additionally, she advises taking a small step forward on the goal immediately, as research from the University of Pennsylvania shows that starting right away results in the most change.

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