The New Science of Success. Stop Sabotaging Yourself, with Motivation Expert Dr. Kyra Bobinet!
Added: Jul 17, 2024
Dr. Kyra Bobinet is an MD and Master of Public Health who wrote the book "Unstoppable Brain: The New Neuroscience that Frees Us from Failure, Eases Our Stress, and Creates Lasting Change." The podcast discusses how her work addresses common struggles like failing to maintain fitness routines, keep New Year's resolutions, or lose weight. Dr. Bobinet explains that her research reveals how a tiny brain region called the habenula is key to monitoring motivation and processing failure. She argues that understanding the habenula can help people overcome self-sabotaging behaviors and achieve lasting change.
The Problem with Performative Behaviors
Dr. Bobinet introduces the concept of "performative" behaviors and tools that often lead to failure. These include New Year's resolutions, social media use, competitive sports, fitness trends, dieting, habit routines, to-do lists, and setting career/relationship goals. She explains that when we engage in these behaviors to perform for others rather than for our authentic selves, it sets us up for failure and triggers the habenula in unhelpful ways. The performative mindset uses neural networks associated with disempowerment and extrinsic motivation. While performative tools can work short-term, they typically lead to disappointment and demotivation in the long run.
Understanding the Habenula and Its Role
The habenula is described as a tiny (half-centimeter) region in the center of the brain, above the thalamus. Despite its small size, it has widespread connections and influences on motivation, reward processing, and our experience of failure. When triggered by perceived failure or disappointment, the habenula can cause a loss of motivation. Dr. Bobinet argues that managing failure, rather than chasing success, is key to sustainable behavior change. She sees the habenula as a potential "Holy Grail" for understanding and treating issues like depression, anxiety, and addiction.
The Iterative Mindset as an Alternative Approach
As an alternative to performative behaviors, Dr. Bobinet advocates for an "iterative mindset." This approach involves continuously experimenting, adapting, and improving rather than rigidly adhering to set goals or expectations. She provides examples of people who successfully changed health behaviors by making small, iterative changes over time. The iterative mindset allows for flexibility and reduces the likelihood of triggering the habenula's demotivating effects. Dr. Bobinet introduces the ITERATES framework (Inspiration, Time, Environment, Reduce, Add, Togetherness, Expectations, Swaps) as a guide for cultivating this mindset.
Weight Loss and Fitness
Dr. Bobinet discusses how the iterative mindset can be applied to weight loss and fitness goals. Rather than setting rigid diets or workout plans, she suggests making small, sustainable changes and being willing to adapt. For example, someone trying to reduce junk food intake might start by leaving one chip in the bag, then gradually increase that number. The key is to avoid all-or-nothing thinking and instead focus on continuous improvement.
Relationships and Sex
The conversation touches on how performative behaviors can negatively impact relationships and sex. Dr. Bobinet shares a personal anecdote about admitting to faking orgasms in a past relationship, highlighting how inauthenticity in sex can lead to broader issues. She emphasizes the importance of honesty and iterative approaches to improving sexual relationships. The discussion also covers the potential negative impacts of pornography and hookup culture on authentic sexual experiences.
Addiction and Mental Health
Dr. Bobinet explains how the habenula plays a crucial role in addiction cycles. She describes how seeking pleasure through addictive behaviors provides a temporary dopamine boost but is followed by a more significant negative impact mediated by the habenula. This creates a cycle of seeking more intense stimulation to overcome the growing negative effects. The iterative mindset is presented as a potential way to break this cycle, with an emphasis on making small, manageable changes rather than attempting drastic transformations.
Chronic Pain and Autoimmune Conditions
Recent research is discussed linking the habenula to conditions like rheumatoid arthritis and associated depression. While the exact mechanisms are still being studied, Dr. Bobinet suggests that the habenula may play a mediating role in the relationship between physical and mental health symptoms. This opens up new avenues for understanding and potentially treating chronic pain and autoimmune conditions.
Practical Advice for an "Unstoppable Brain"
Dr. Bobinet offers three key pieces of advice for moving from a "stuck" to an "unstoppable" brain:
1. Stop overperforming and recognize when performative behaviors become counterproductive.
2. Learn to neutralize or prevent failure thinking to turn off the habenula's demotivating effects.
3. Embrace iteration in all aspects of life, as this is a common trait among successful people across various domains.
She emphasizes that these strategies require ongoing practice and patience, as true habit change takes significant time (up to a year) to become firmly established in the brain.
Reflections and Further Applications
The host reflects on how Dr. Bobinet's insights might apply to various aspects of life, including parenting, work relationships, and personal goal-setting. She discusses the challenge of balancing authentic desires with societal expectations and the pressure to "perform" in various areas of life. The conversation touches on how these concepts might be especially relevant for teenagers and young adults who are particularly susceptible to performative pressures.
The host also considers how different personality types might relate to various "failure types" described by Dr. Bobinet, such as all-or-nothing thinking, comparing oneself to others, impostor syndrome, or excessive self-criticism ("shoulding"). She reflects on her own tendencies and how understanding these patterns might lead to more effective strategies for personal growth.
Conclusion and Future Directions
The discussion concludes with reflections on the potential impact of this research on various fields, including mental health treatment, addiction recovery, and our general understanding of motivation and behavior change. Dr. Bobinet expresses excitement about future research into the habenula and its role in various psychological and physiological processes. She also notes the need for more studies to fully understand the complex interplay between the habenula and other brain regions.
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