An Addict’s Advice For Getting Sober: Recovery, Resilience & Redemption | Michael Chernow

Added: Jul 1, 2024

Troubled Early Life

Chernow grew up in New York City in a challenging family environment. His father was an electrician and lighting designer who struggled with mental illness and hoarding, while his mother worked as a secretary. He shared a small one-bedroom apartment with his parents and sister, often seeking escape by staying at friends' houses from a young age. This desire to get away led to him being sexually abused by a sports coach and Cub Scout leader. He attempted suicide at age 12 and was briefly institutionalized, which brought child services into the family's situation.

Addiction and Rock Bottom

By age 13, Chernow had fully embraced drugs and alcohol as an escape. He left home at 15 and moved into an NYU dorm with an older girl he had met. Throughout his teens and early 20s, Chernow worked in restaurants and nightclubs while heavily using and selling drugs. He describes reaching rock bottom in August 2004 at age 23, after being up for 48 hours on a drug binge. Looking in the mirror, Chernow told himself he hated himself and should die. He had overdosed on heroin two weeks prior but couldn't stop using. After blacking out and missing work again, Chernow's boss fired him but offered to reconsider if Chernow got sober and showed up at 8am for 30 days straight.

Early Recovery and Transformation

Desperate for help, Chernow reached out to an old friend who introduced him to Marcus, a sober man who became Chernow's mentor. Marcus and another sober friend named Gavin gave Chernow a strict daily routine to follow, including waking up early, praying, exercising, eating healthy, attending recovery meetings, and training in Muay Thai kickboxing. Chernow credits this structure and discipline with saving his life and teaching him integrity, honesty, and how to get back up after being knocked down. He emphasizes how asking for help and having mentors guide him was crucial to his recovery.

Success in the Restaurant Industry

After getting sober, Chernow went on to have major success in the restaurant industry. In 2010, he opened The Meatball Shop with his childhood friend Daniel, which became a huge hit and expanded to six locations. Chernow became the face of the brand, appearing on many TV shows. However, tensions arose in the partnership as Chernow took on more of the media spotlight. They disagreed on expansion plans and a potential buyout offer, leading Chernow to sell much of his equity in 2014. He then launched a sustainable seafood restaurant called Seamore's, which also grew to six locations before he exited.

Chernow attributes his restaurant success largely to prioritizing culture and focusing on how customers feel when they leave rather than just profits. He emphasizes the importance of taking care of staff to create an environment people want to be part of. Chernow sees himself as a "culture cowboy" who understands how to connect with people and build community around a business.

Pandemic Pivot and New Venture

When the pandemic hit in 2020, Chernow's restaurant career came to an abrupt halt. He moved with his family from Brooklyn to their house upstate and began contemplating his next move. Working with an executive coach, Chernow realized he was a creative entrepreneur who could apply his skills beyond just restaurants. He decided to launch a direct-to-consumer brand called Creatures of Habit, centered around the oatmeal breakfast he had eaten every day in recovery for 15 years.

Creatures of Habit offers nutritious oatmeal and nighttime drink mixes, along with apparel and other lifestyle products. Chernow sees it as a vehicle to share his story of transformation and help others build positive habits. He has embraced transparency, sharing monthly business updates on his podcast and writing weekly emails to customers. Chernow views these touchpoints as ways to recreate the personal connections he valued in the restaurant world.

Spiritual Growth Through Breathwork

At a fitness event called Running Man, Chernow had a profound experience with guided breathwork that opened up new avenues of emotional and spiritual growth for him. During his first session, he felt overwhelming physical sensations that scared him at first, but then transitioned into a powerful feeling of love for his wife and children. Subsequent virtual sessions with the breathwork facilitator, Mike Gervais, led Chernow to confront deep-seated issues around seeking his father's approval and love.

In one particularly impactful session, Chernow had a vision of his deceased father telling him "I love you," something he doesn't recall hearing in real life. Another session revealed Chernow's scared "inner child," helping him realize how terrified he felt as a young boy. This insight inspired Chernow to spend more one-on-one time with his own sons to give them the attention and safety he lacked as a child.

Key Lessons and Advice

Throughout the conversation, Chernow emphasizes several key principles that have been instrumental in his recovery and success:

1. Discipline, Structure, and Patience

Chernow credits the strict daily routine he was given in early sobriety with teaching him the power of discipline and structure. He still maintains a regimented morning routine, viewing it as pouring a solid foundation for each day. Chernow believes discipline, structure, and patience are essential for accomplishing anything great in life.

2. Commitment and Consistency

Chernow sees himself as an "extreme" person who goes all-in on whatever he commits to. He learned to channel this trait positively through recovery, applying the same level of commitment to building businesses and other life goals. Chernow stresses that consistency in small daily actions leads to major transformations over time.

3. Courage and Facing Fear

Rather than avoiding fear, Chernow's approach is to run towards it as fast as possible. He views fear as a signal to take action and believes courage comes from consistently facing challenges head-on.

4. Optimism and Belief

Chernow describes himself as inherently optimistic, with an unwavering belief that things will work out. This mindset has carried him through launching multiple successful businesses. He encourages others to cultivate optimism and self-belief.

5. Service and Transparency

Sharing his recovery story openly is a key part of Chernow's mission to help others. He views being of service as central to maintaining his own sobriety and fulfillment. Chernow has brought this ethos of transparency into his business practices as well.

6. Asking for Help

Chernow emphasizes that asking for help was crucial in his recovery and continues to be a "requirement" in all areas of his life. He encourages others to overcome pride or shame and reach out for support.

7. Fitness as a Cornerstone

Physical fitness and movement have been essential to Chernow's transformation. He advises anyone feeling lost or stuck to make fitness a priority as a way to reconnect with themselves.

8. Gratitude Practice

Chernow starts each day by consciously cultivating gratitude, smiling and mentally listing things he's grateful for. He credits this practice with setting a positive tone and combating anxiety.

Advice for Those Struggling

For those battling addiction, Chernow's main advice is to ask for help without shame, assuring that there is a way out no matter how hopeless things seem. For anyone feeling lost or directionless in life, he recommends both asking for help and finding a form of fitness to prioritize. Chernow firmly believes that anyone has the ability to change their life through commitment, consistency, and courage.

Conclusion

Michael Chernow's journey from addiction and chaos to sobriety, entrepreneurial success, and personal growth offers a powerful example of transformation. His story highlights the importance of discipline, structure, asking for help, and cultivating self-awareness. Through his businesses and public speaking, Chernow aims to inspire others to build positive habits and pursue personal growth. His experiences with breathwork demonstrate an ongoing commitment to emotional and spiritual development. Ultimately, Chernow's message is one of hope - that anyone can change their life for the better through consistent effort and a willingness to face fears head-on.