How to Create a New Version of Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Regret with Sarah Jakes Roberts

Added: Jul 26, 2024

In this podcast episode, Sarah Jakes Roberts, daughter of a well-known mega church pastor, shares her powerful story of becoming pregnant at 13 and having her son at 14. This experience led to a decade-long struggle with shame, guilt, and feeling like she didn't fit in with the "good church people." Sarah describes how she tried on different identities and lifestyles during those years, searching for belonging and acceptance. Eventually, she reached a point where she decided to stand "flat-footed in the truth" of who she was and explore her faith on her own terms. This journey led to healing, restoration, and the development of an intimate relationship with God that allowed her to embrace all aspects of herself.

The Power of Compassion and Self-Acceptance

Sarah emphasizes the importance of looking at one's life story with compassion and understanding. She encourages listeners to view their past experiences, even painful or shameful ones, as part of their whole "movie" rather than fixating on isolated moments. She shares how she learned to sit with herself until she no longer cringed at her past, developing self-compassion where she once felt guilt. This process of self-acceptance enabled her to love herself fully and recognize the value in her experiences.

Embracing Your Whole Story

A key message Sarah conveys is the need to embrace all aspects of one's story, including the difficult parts. She uses the metaphor of ingredients in a cupboard to illustrate how people often try to hide or ignore certain parts of themselves. She encourages listeners to open that cupboard, examine all the ingredients, and use them to create something beautiful. She stresses that it's impossible to reinvent oneself using ingredients that don't exist – true authenticity comes from working with everything you have, including past struggles and mistakes.

The Importance of Rest and Self-Care

Sarah highlights the critical role of rest in maintaining a grounded, powerful presence. She shares personal examples of how exhaustion can lead to irritability and poor decision-making. She emphasizes that spiritual rest, gratitude, and reflection are essential for staying connected to one's purpose and power. She describes a practice of allowing her younger self to "take in" her current accomplishments and blessings as a way of healing past wounds and celebrating growth.

Letting Your Truth Live Outside of You

One of the most impactful concepts Sarah discusses is the idea of letting your truth "live outside of you." She explains that many people keep their hopes, dreams, and authentic selves trapped inside, leading to a sense of suffocation and stagnation. By giving voice to these inner truths – whether through writing, speaking, or other forms of expression – people create space for growth and allow others to connect with their authentic selves. She shares how her own journey of opening up through blogging led to unexpected connections and opportunities.

Redefining Power and Confidence

Sarah offers a unique perspective on power, describing it as a combination of authenticity, resiliency, and humility. She emphasizes that power is not about being unbreakable or always in charge, but rather about flowing through different aspects of oneself and adapting to various situations. She defines confidence as having knowledge of both one's gifts and flaws, and not being overly swayed by either success or failure. She encourages listeners to embrace their whole selves and find contentment in their identity, regardless of external circumstances.

Overcoming Insecurity and Embracing New Challenges

Sarah shares a personal story about feeling insecure when moving to a new city and wondering if her style of ministry would be accepted. She describes a pivotal moment during a sermon when her wig began slipping off, forcing her to remove it entirely. This vulnerable moment, which could have been embarrassing, instead became a powerful demonstration of authenticity that resonated deeply with her audience. She uses this experience to illustrate how power can flow into new situations and manifest in unexpected ways when we remain true to ourselves.

The Intentionality of Our Existence

A profound moment in the conversation occurs when Mel Robbins suggests that Sarah's early pregnancy may have been intentional on a higher level, serving as a catalyst for disrupting traditional notions of what it means to be a "godly woman." Sarah reflects on this idea, acknowledging the possibility that her experiences were meant to create a new, more inclusive version of faith and womanhood. This perspective highlights the potential for finding meaning and purpose even in life's most challenging moments.

Practical Advice for Listeners

Sarah offers several practical suggestions for listeners looking to tap into their own power and authenticity:

1. Open your "cupboard" and examine all aspects of yourself, including past experiences and perceived flaws.

2. Practice self-compassion and learn to sit with yourself without judgment.

3. Allow your truths to "live outside of you" by expressing them in some form.

4. Recognize that power is fluid and can manifest differently in various life stages.

5. Prioritize rest and self-care to maintain a strong connection to your purpose.

6. Embrace vulnerability as a source of strength and connection with others.

7. Look for the intentionality in your life experiences, even the difficult ones.

The Impact of Authenticity

Throughout the conversation, Sarah emphasizes the transformative power of authenticity. She shares how her willingness to be open about her struggles and imperfections has created deep connections with her audience and opened doors for ministry and influence. She encourages listeners to recognize the value in their unique stories and to use their experiences as a way to relate to and help others.

Reframing Past Experiences

A recurring theme in the discussion is the importance of reframing past experiences, especially those that may have caused shame or regret. Sarah illustrates how she's come to see her early pregnancy not as a disqualifying event, but as part of what makes her relatable and effective in her current role. She encourages listeners to look for the ways their past challenges have equipped them for their present purpose.

The Role of Faith in Personal Growth

While Sarah's perspective is deeply rooted in her Christian faith, she offers insights that can resonate with people of various beliefs. She describes her relationship with God as a source of healing and restoration, but also emphasizes the importance of personal responsibility and action in the growth process. Sarah's approach combines spiritual guidance with practical steps for self-improvement and authenticity.

Embracing Multiple Versions of Yourself

Sarah introduces the concept of "versions" of oneself, acknowledging that we evolve and change throughout our lives. She encourages listeners to embrace both past and present versions of themselves, recognizing that each stage contributes to who we are becoming. This perspective allows for greater self-acceptance and openness to future growth and change.

The Power of Vulnerability

Through personal anecdotes, Sarah illustrates the unexpected power of vulnerability. She shares how moments of potential embarrassment or weakness, such as her wig incident, can become opportunities for profound connection and impact. This underscores the idea that true strength often comes from embracing our humanity rather than trying to project an image of perfection.

Conclusion

Sarah Jakes Roberts offers a compelling message of self-acceptance, authenticity, and personal empowerment. Her journey from teenage mother to influential speaker and author serves as a powerful example of how past struggles can be transformed into sources of strength and purpose. Through her insights on embracing one's whole story, letting truths live outside oneself, and recognizing the fluid nature of personal power, Sarah provides listeners with a roadmap for personal growth and authentic living. Her message encourages individuals to look beyond societal expectations and find their unique path, using all of their experiences – both positive and negative – to create a life of meaning and impact.

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