How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want: 6 Simple Psychological Tricks to Be More Confident

Added: Apr 26, 2024

Understanding High Achievers

Vanessa highlights that high achievers have specific behavior and communication patterns that set them apart. They are adept at using communication shortcuts to say no to difficult people, enjoy the process of achieving their goals, and have a clear sense of self.

Avoiding Burnout

Vanessa emphasizes the importance of being assertive with one's energy. She distinguishes between social energy, which involves interactions and communication with others, and work energy, which pertains to task-oriented activities. High achievers are mindful of managing both types of energy effectively to avoid burnout. They prioritize tasks and relationships that give them energy while minimizing those that drain them.

Vanessa introduces the concept of the Pygmalion effect, where setting positive expectations can lead to favorable outcomes. Additionally, she discusses the power of liking and how spreading positivity and expressing genuine liking towards others can enhance likability.

Identifying Influential Individuals

Vanessa shares insights on how to identify influential individuals in a room. She observes that people often angle their bodies towards the most important person in the room, indicated by the direction of their toes. Influential individuals tend to claim their space by taking up physical postures that convey confidence and power. She also highlights the importance of the distance between the earlobe and shoulder as a subtle yet impactful indicator of confidence and presence.

Vulnerability and Likability

Contrary to the belief that perfection and impressiveness are key to likability, Vanessa emphasizes the power of vulnerability. She shares a study where participants rated a person more likable after witnessing a small mistake or spill, showcasing the human aspect of imperfection. Vulnerability allows individuals to connect on a deeper level and fosters authenticity in relationships. By embracing vulnerability and sharing personal experiences, individuals can enhance their likability and create genuine connections.

Body Language and Confidence

Vanessa explains that body language plays a crucial role in how others perceive us. By adjusting our posture, such as keeping shoulders back and down, we can signal confidence and assertiveness. She also recommends using a swivel chair with armrests to facilitate better alignment and engagement during conversations. Additionally, she suggests using gestures like the steeple pose and rubbing hands together to convey excitement and confidence.

Verbal and Vocal Cues

In terms of vocal cues, Vanessa advises speaking with a lower tone and avoiding vocal fry to project confidence. She also mentions the importance of using verbal patterns that inspire motivation and action. For instance, incorporating achievement-oriented words like "win" and "success" in communication can boost performance and engagement.

Influential Communication

Vanessa shares a study where participants were primed with different words like "Wall Street" and "community" before engaging in a task. The results showed that the choice of words significantly influenced behavior, with those primed with achievement-oriented words performing better. This highlights the power of language in shaping attitudes and actions.

Effective Self-Talk

When it comes to self-talk, Vanessa encourages using positive and motivational language to boost confidence and productivity. By reframing calendar invites and self-talk with words like "winning morning" or "power up," individuals can set a positive tone for their tasks and goals.

Breaking Autopilot Conversations

Vanessa suggests breaking out of autopilot conversations by asking more engaging and open-ended questions. Instead of the typical "How are you?" or "What do you do?" she recommends asking about exciting projects or highlights of the week to spark meaningful and authentic conversations. By avoiding generic questions, individuals can foster deeper connections and create a more positive interaction.

Effective Communication Strategies

Vanessa emphasizes the importance of engaging in conversations that are exciting and stimulating. She advises against asking deep questions too quickly, as introverts may feel overwhelmed. Instead, she recommends starting with safe questions like personal passion projects or upcoming plans. Extroverts, on the other hand, enjoy questions like "What's your story?" as it allows them to share more about themselves.

The Power of Positive Influence

Vanessa discusses a fascinating study that reveals the impact of sitting near high performers in the workplace. The research shows that sitting within 25 feet of a high performer can improve one's own performance by 15%. This suggests that positive energy and productivity are contagious, and being around high achievers can elevate one's own performance.

Strategic Networking

Vanessa shares insights on where to stand at networking events for optimal connections. She advises against standing near the entrance, as people are not yet ready for meaningful conversations. Instead, she recommends positioning oneself near the bar exit, where individuals are more open to engaging. By strategically choosing where to stand, one can increase the quality and duration of networking interactions.

Productivity Exercise: ABCD Work

Vanessa introduces the concept of ABCD work to enhance productivity. A work represents tasks that one excels at and enjoys, while B work is tasks that one is good at but not exceptional. C work is average, and D work is tasks that one struggles with. By identifying and focusing on A work, individuals can optimize their strengths and delegate or minimize tasks in the B, C, and D categories.

Setting Meaningful Goals

Vanessa emphasizes the importance of setting goals that align with one's values and bring joy throughout the process. Rather than focusing solely on the end result, she encourages individuals to find fulfillment in the journey towards their goals. By enjoying the means as much as the end, one can maintain motivation and satisfaction in their pursuits.

The Significance of Having a Quest

Having a quest or a big goal is essential for personal growth and fulfillment. Vanessa highlights the importance of pursuing meaningful quests that provide purpose and drive. Whether it's traveling the world, raising a family, or mastering a skill, having a quest can inspire and motivate individuals to strive for greatness.

Reflection and Self-Care

Vanessa suggests taking time at the end of each day to reflect on accomplishments and areas for improvement. By pausing and acknowledging one's efforts, individuals can gain clarity and set intentions for the following day. Additionally, she emphasizes the importance of self-care and setting boundaries to prevent burnout and maintain well-being.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Vanessa encourages individuals to reassess their tasks, delegate effectively, and prioritize activities that bring them joy and energy. By making strategic choices and focusing on their strengths, individuals can enhance their performance and overall satisfaction in life.