This Life-Changing Conversation Will Help You Make Peace With Who You Are

In this podcast episode, Mel Robbins sits down with Mon Rovîa, a remarkable musician and storyteller whose life journey is as compelling as the music he creates. He shares his experiences of trauma, adoption, identity, and the power of continuing forward despite suffering.

A Story Rooted in Survival and Identity

Mon Rovîa’s early life was marked by unimaginable hardship. Born during Liberia’s civil war, he witnessed violence and loss from a very young age. His mother, Maria, a strong and loving woman, tragically passed away in childbirth, leaving Mon Rovîa and his siblings in the care of their grandmother. The war’s brutality extended to his family, with his brothers forced into child soldier roles. At seven years old, Mon Rovîa was taken from his homeland by a missionary family and later adopted by a white American family, a transition that brought its own complex challenges.

The trauma of war and displacement left Mon Rovîa with deep wounds, including survivor’s guilt and a profound sense of shame about his past. He wrestled with questions about his identity, belonging, and the circumstances of his conception—born of sexual violence during the conflict. These painful truths haunted him for years, creating a heavy burden that he carried silently. Yet, through his journey, he learned to reframe his experience, moving from blame and guilt to a place of acceptance and gratitude. He now views his survival and the opportunities he’s been given as a gift, a chance to bring light and healing to others.

The Power of Belonging and Continuing

One of the central themes Mon Rovîa emphasizes is the importance of belonging and the art of continuing. He acknowledges that life is full of suffering, but suffering does not diminish one’s right or purpose to be here. For those struggling with pain or feeling out of place, he offers a message of hope: your time here is meant, and you have a vital role to play in the world. This belief is cultivated through memory—the recognition of all the hardships one has already overcome and the faith that one can continue to move forward.

Mon Rovîa’s mantra, “find another day,” encapsulates this philosophy beautifully. It is an honest and compassionate way to cope with overwhelming feelings, giving oneself permission to not quit today, even if quitting seems inevitable. This approach honors the difficulty of suffering while encouraging persistence, one day at a time. It’s a reminder that healing and growth are processes, not instant transformations.

Music as a Sanctuary and a Voice

Music became Mon Rovîa’s sanctuary, a safe space where he could process his emotions and tell his story. Initially shy and watchful, he found it difficult to express himself verbally, especially within his adoptive family and the cultural spaces he inhabited. Journaling was his first outlet, a private place to explore his feelings and thoughts. Over time, these writings evolved into songs, blending his Afro-Appalachian roots with raw, personal storytelling.

His music defies easy categorization, crossing genres and generations. It is peaceful and grounding, designed to help listeners lose anxiety and connect with their own importance and worth. Mon Rovîa’s sound is a unique fusion of folk traditions and African influences, reflecting both his heritage and his lived experience in Appalachia. His songs invite listeners into quiet reflection, offering a moment of peace in a fast-moving, loud world.

Healing Out Loud and Building Community

Beyond personal healing, Mon Rovîa’s mission is to foster collective healing. His current tour, “Heal With Others,” embodies this vision. He understands deeply the loneliness that can accompany suffering, even when surrounded by people. His music and message create a community where people feel seen, understood, and supported. He stresses the importance of having a “mooring” of people—those who replenish and sustain us so we can continue to give love, grace, and forgiveness.

This communal aspect of healing is vital, especially for those who have experienced trauma or displacement. Mon Rovîa encourages listeners to find or create safe spaces where they can confront their truths without fear or shame. Acceptance and peace come when one is able to sit with their story in a quiet, supportive environment.

Confronting the Past and Embracing the Truth

Mon Rovîa’s journey toward healing involved confronting painful truths about his past, including the circumstances of his birth and the loss of his mother. For many years, he avoided these realities, feeling ashamed and disconnected from his origins. However, reconnecting with his sister and learning more about his mother’s love and sacrifices brought him profound peace. He emphasizes that acknowledging the full truth of one’s story—no matter how difficult—is essential for healing and identity formation.

He also speaks candidly about the complexity of adoption, especially transracial adoption, and the mixed emotions it can evoke. Gratitude for being saved or rescued can coexist with confusion, loss, and questions about belonging. Mon Rovîa advocates for openness and honesty in these conversations, encouraging adoptive families to share the truth of a child’s origins to help them build a strong sense of self.

From Resistance to Embracing the Gift

Despite his musical talent, Mon Rovîa initially resisted pursuing music as a career. He doubted whether he belonged in the singer-songwriter space, partly due to racial and cultural expectations. It took encouragement from a close friend and manager to help him see the value and impact of his music. This support was crucial in helping him overcome self-doubt and embrace his calling.

His story highlights the importance of trusting those who believe in us, even when we struggle to believe in ourselves. He urges listeners to notice the hands extended toward them and to accept help and encouragement rather than pushing it away out of fear or shame.

A Message for the Listener: You Are Meant to Be Here

Throughout the conversation, Mon Rovîa speaks directly to anyone who feels lost, unworthy, or burdened by their past. He reminds us that we are all meant to be here, that our lives are gifts, and that we have the power to pour love into our experiences despite pain and hardship. He encourages listeners to stop fighting the pull toward their true selves and to take the steps—however small—toward healing and growth.

His music, his story, and his words serve as a beacon of hope, showing that it is possible to transform suffering into strength and to find peace with who we are. The art of continuing, as he calls it, is a lifelong practice of resilience, acceptance, and love.

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