Do This for 1 Week to Manifest the Future You Want with Shonda Rhimes

Living a Small Life Amidst Great Success

From the outside, Shonda Rhimes had it all: career acclaim, creative influence, and a bustling production empire. Yet beneath the surface, she found her life painfully small, boxed in by fear and self-imposed limits. She was writing extraordinary stories and imagining vast worlds on screen, but in reality, she was hiding — shrinking herself, saying no to invitations, new friendships, solitude, and even exploring beyond the comfort of her known environment. The contrast was striking: dazzling characters on TV, versus a real-life existence constrained by anxiety and uncertainty.

What keeps us telling ourselves "no" even when it's our happiness and growth on the line? Shonda explains that fear is a powerful blockade — fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and fear of disappointing others freeze us in place. Staying put might feel "safe," but it's more often a retreat into isolation and stagnation, a retreat into the known to numb the itchy discomfort of change.

The Year of Yes

Shonda's pivotal step was a commitment she called her "Year of Yes." For one full year, she vowed to say yes to everything that scared her. It was terrifying, but it set a framework: a rule she could tuck away and draw courage from. Her first yes was a commencement speech at Dartmouth, a proposal she accepted not from enthusiasm but from determination to shift her narrative.

Each yes, no matter how small or awkward, chipped away at her fear. Whether it was tapping into uncomfortable social events, trying new experiences like group travel or a golf lesson, or stepping onto a talk show stage, each act of saying yes built a muscle — a growing confidence and new clarity about what truly served her. Interestingly, this process also taught her when to say no, as she began to discern which "yeses" fueled growth, and which ones were distractions or mismatches.

Could the key to freedom and authenticity be simply practicing more yeses? How often do we stand on the precipice, too scared to leap into possibility?

Saying Yes to Yourself

While the external yeses mattered, Shonda reveals that the most important yes was internal: to herself, her health, and her truth. For the first time, she confronted how little she had been listening to her own needs. She realized she had been "yes-ing" everyone else but neglecting basic self-care — feeling detached from her body and numbed by unhealthy patterns, especially around food and exercise.

Her journey into health wasn't about chasing perfection but about saying yes to her body's signals, learning to love herself "with thighs and all," and rejecting harmful routines. It was a breakthrough in self-compassion and self-respect, accompanied by hard-won honesty.

Even harder was saying no to societal expectations — notably the traditional idea of marriage. Despite loving love and weddings in her creative work, Shonda confronted the suffocating fear that engagement and marriage could mean losing an essential part of herself. The courage to voice and embody this truth, even at the risk of disappointing those she cared about, was its own radical yes to autonomy.

What truths have you been afraid to admit — even to yourself? How might honoring those truths open a path to freedom?

Difficult Conversations

Shonda emphasizes that critical to her transformation was learning to have difficult conversations instead of avoiding conflict. Whether in leadership roles or personal relationships, she found that disguising hard truths only prolonged suffering — for herself and others. Her new approach was radical honesty: saying the hard thing first, cutting to the core, and refusing to carry the weight of unspoken tension.

This brave communication liberated her and others, reinforcing that kindness and respect don't require avoidance of truth. It also embodies a profound yes — to integrity, self-respect, and authentic connection.

Are you carrying unsaid truths that drain you? Could your next act of courage be to simply say what needs to be said?

Finding Home and Joy

The COVID-19 pandemic forced Shonda to confront another painful truth: she was a stranger in her own life outside of work. Her identity had been so entwined with success and productivity that she had no hobbies, few true friendships outside professional circles, and did not feel "at home" in the place she lived.

She made the bold choice to move her family to Connecticut, embracing a quieter life in the country where she could be more present with her children and rediscover herself beyond her career. This shift also opened space for new joys—a hobby like golf, experiencing patience and humility alongside her daughter who challenged her own notions of "success." Through this, she redefined success itself: not as conquering the world but finding joy, love, and authenticity in the moments lived.

Mentors and Self-Guidance

Without traditional mentors early in her career, Shonda turned to the stories of others—through memoirs and biographies—as personal guides. She absorbed lessons from diverse lives, teaching herself to believe in her own worth and vision. This act of self-mentorship fueled her ongoing growth and reminds us that inspiration and wisdom are not always handed to us; sometimes, we must actively seek and claim them.

Who can you learn from right now—even if only through their books, stories, or examples?

The Magic of Words

One of Shonda's most striking insights is the power of the words we say to ourselves. They act like spells, shaping how we see the world and ourselves. Negative self-talk becomes a prison; saying yes to kind, encouraging words builds an inner landscape of possibility. This daily internal dialogue determines whether we nurture courage or reinforce fear.

Imagine if you began to say to yourself, "I am capable," or "I love who I am," with loving intention. What new worlds might that open for you?

A Quiet Revolution: Fear as Information, Not Enemy

Shonda reframes fear not as an adversary but as a signal—a guidepost highlighting moments of importance. What makes the difference is not the absence of fear, but how we choose to act in its presence. Some yeses will lead to disaster; others to unexpected triumphs. Both teach invaluable lessons about resilience, authenticity, and alignment.

What if your fear is not your jailer but your compass?

Your Life is Waiting

If there's one message to carry forward, it is this: You have the power to change your own life. It is not easy, and it requires courage, honesty, and persistence. But the cost of staying stuck in "smallness" is far greater than the risk of a stumble. By starting small—saying yes to one uncomfortable thing a week, speaking kindly to yourself, facing one hard truth—you begin to manifest the future you want.

So, what are you willing to say yes to today? And what no might need to follow?