3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Figure Out What You Really Want

Question One – Where Are You Headed?

The journey begins with a confronting, yet vital, question: How will your life look if you stay on your current path? Unlike typical motivational exercises that encourage envisioning a dream future, this question asks for brutal honesty. Mel urges her audience to genuinely assess where their present habits, jobs, relationships, and routines are leading them in five years if nothing changes. This visualization is not about wishful thinking but about understanding the trajectory shaped by daily choices. It's a wake-up call to examine whether the overlooked "unfinished business" in one's life—those lingering desires and dissatisfactions—will deepen if ignored.

Mel illustrates this vividly by connecting to common concerns such as remaining in an unfulfilling job while fearing technological disruptions like AI, carrying on with draining relationships for comfort despite a lack of spark, or tolerating stressful habits that damage wellbeing. She encourages listeners to confront these truths with kindness and a neutral stance rather than judgment. Recognizing that many people operate on autopilot, she highlights the significance of intentionally evaluating one's path because life outcomes depend on consciousness and choice. This question acts as the crucial first step toward change, as it makes clear that remaining passive maintains the status quo or worsens dissatisfaction.

Question Two – If Everything Changed, What Then?

The second question, which Mel calls the "rugpull question," asks: If the path you're on disappeared tomorrow, what would you do? This question is intentionally jarring because it forces listeners to imagine their life in upheaval—losing a job, ending a relationship, or facing any unexpected life-shift—and to consider possibilities beyond the current plan. Although scary, Mel insists this exercise is liberating rather than paralyzing. By mentally rehearsing a Plan B while still in Plan A, individuals activate creative problem-solving abilities rather than succumbing to fear or freeze responses.

Using real-life examples, she shares stories of people who pivoted successfully after unexpected setbacks—a marketer who turned to freelance consulting, a dancer who shifted to teaching after injury. Mel emphasizes that this mindset widens awareness of hidden options and reveals that we often underestimate our adaptability until forced to explore alternatives.

She also stresses that this question is not an encouragement to quit jobs or make drastic moves immediately. Instead, it is a practice in expanding mental horizons, breaking black-and-white thinking, and recognizing "ands"—how life can include multiple interests, roles, and shifts rather than rigid singular paths. It's about imagining different life arcs without guilt or pressure, thereby diminishing the grip of fear and increasing resilience.

Question Three – What If Nothing Held You Back?

The final question—the one Mel calls her favorite—invites listeners to dream expansively: How would life look if there was absolutely nothing holding you back? Here, societal pressures, financial worries, and others' expectations are put aside to consider pure possibility. Mel points out that for many, this unfettered imagining feels foreign since childhood was often the last time they allowed themselves such open-ended dreaming.

This question uncovers the deep intrinsic values that research shows align most closely with happiness—growth, connection, contribution—rather than external markers like money or status. Mel invites listeners to daydream freely about the life they want, whether that means a creative pursuit, adventure, meaningful relationships, or novel work. She recommends pushing past self-doubt and fear of judgment, urging the use of "let them" as a mantra to release concerns about others' opinions and instead reclaim time and energy for authentic living.

Through this process, listeners can rediscover the often-buried markers of unfinished business—passions, ambitions, and desires that have been waiting beneath the noise of everyday obligations. Mel conveys the joy and power found in this kind of dreaming as a vital step to reclaim ownership of one's life narrative and personal fulfillment.

Using the Odyssey Plan

After guiding listeners through these three transformative questions, Mel shifts to how to translate insights into tangible movement without blowing up life overnight. She introduces the concept of "prototyping" from the Stanford course—a way of experimenting with small, low-risk actions that test out new directions. Instead of waiting for perfect conditions or making massive life changes, listeners are encouraged to identify one resonant idea from their reflections and try a tiny step in that direction. This could mean dedicating minutes daily to a new habit, researching a potential move, connecting with people in a desired field, or exploring an activity or skill related to a dream.

Mel shares relatable personal examples, like her husband starting to write a book by carving out daily writing time, and her own experience working briefly in a bakery to test that aspiration, which helped clarify what she truly wanted. These "mini-experiments" provide feedback and build clarity, allowing listeners to gradually course-correct toward a life more aligned with their values and interests.

Importantly, Mel reassures that one experiment might lead to new discoveries and that plans can evolve organically. This approach avoids paralysis from overwhelm and unrealistic expectations, highlighting a steady, manageable pathway to growth.

Mindset Shifts

Throughout the episode, Mel emphasizes a mindset shift: life changes don't happen by accident but on purpose, through intentional choices and actions. She encourages listeners to stop waiting for external circumstances to force change and to embrace their capability to shape the future proactively. Tackling the fears, guilt, and social pressures that often keep people stuck is part of this journey, as is remembering that your life's "unfinished business" signals what truly matters to you.

Mel closes by celebrating the power of these three questions to crack open possibilities and awaken hope. She invites repeated use of the Odyssey Plan and encourages sharing it with others, underscoring its accessibility and effectiveness regardless of age or life stage.