How To Hack Your Psychology And Become More Resilient | Dr Orion Taraban

Added: Mar 17, 2024

In this podcast episode, Dr. Orion Taraban discusses the importance of setting end dates for new habits, goals, challenges, and routines. He emphasizes that setting an end time ensures that sufficient effort and duration are dedicated to determining the success of the endeavor.

Key takeaways

Set end dates for new habits and goals to track progress and make informed decisions about continuation.

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Reflect on personal desires to avoid pursuing external achievements that don't align with authentic self.

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Embrace intentionalism by aligning actions with personal values for a more fulfilling life.

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Winners often have to quit many things to achieve mastery in a particular area.

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Take action in the present moment for personal growth, as there's never an ideal time for change.

Setting End Dates for Goals and Habits

Dr. Taraban and the host discuss the significance of setting end dates for various endeavors. They highlight the need to give new habits and routines enough time to succeed, as things often take longer than expected. By committing to a specific timeframe, individuals can track their progress and make informed decisions about the continuation of their efforts. This approach also helps in managing motivation and staying focused on the goal.

Dr. Taraban shares his personal experience of committing to publishing YouTube videos regularly for three years before evaluating the continuation of the project. This commitment helped him maintain discipline and focus on the process, regardless of immediate results.

The Paradox of Getting What You Want

Dr. Taraban introduces the concept of why achieving what you want can often lead to disappointment. He explains that people may not truly know themselves and their desires, leading to pursuing external achievements that do not align with their authentic selves. He emphasizes the importance of disabusing oneself of societal expectations and gaining a deeper understanding of personal values and goals.

Intentionalism as a Philosophy

Chris Williamson introduces the concept of intentionalism as a philosophy focused on being intentional in all aspects of life. This philosophy emphasizes the importance of aligning actions with personal values and goals, leading to a more fulfilling and purposeful existence. Dr. Taraban and Williamson explore the idea of intentionalism as a way to navigate through life with clarity and authenticity, making choices that resonate with one's true self.

Winners Quitting

Dr. Taraban talks about the idea of winners quitting, highlighting the fact that successful individuals often have to quit many things in order to achieve mastery in a particular area. He explains that hard work is necessary for success, but it can be challenging and may not always bring immediate satisfaction. He also discusses the concept of overpaying for success, suggesting that achieving one's goals often requires sacrificing other aspects of life and may lead to feelings of disappointment.

Dr. Taraban's Career Journey

Dr. Taraban shares his personal experience of pursuing a career in acting in his 20s before transitioning to a career in psychology and self-discipline. He reflects on the sacrifices he made and the hard work he put in to achieve his current position. He emphasizes the importance of grinding out in one's 20s to lay the foundation for future success, acknowledging that the path to achieving one's dreams may require years of dedication and hard work.

Choosing One's Circumstances

Dr. Taraban discusses the idea of choosing one's circumstances, even in challenging situations. He references the stoic philosophy of focusing on what is within one's control and choosing how to respond to external factors. He emphasizes the importance of taking action in the world to gain self-knowledge and personal growth, rather than relying solely on introspection.

Dr. Taraban shares a study about hamsters with internal and external locus of control, highlighting the difference in stress levels between the two groups. He suggests that taking power back from external circumstances and choosing how to respond can lead to a sense of psychological control and resilience.

The Thrill of the Unknown

Dr.Taraban reflects on the uncertainty of the future and the thrill of not knowing what lies ahead. He discusses the importance of living life as a dream-making factory, where individuals have the opportunity to manifest their dreams through hard work and dedication. He encourages individuals to embrace uncertainty and take action to create the life they desire.

Negative Trends on the Internet

Dr. Taraban expresses concern about the negative and fatalistic trends on the internet, noting the prevalence of cynicism and despondency. He emphasizes the importance of curating one's online experience and avoiding toxic narratives that promote a sense of powerlessness. He highlights the need for individuals to maintain agency and sovereignty over their lives, rather than succumbing to a defeatist mindset.

Therapy for Men and Women

Dr. Taraban talks about the effectiveness and challenges of therapy for men and women. He mentions that therapy can be more effective when there is a gender match between the client and the practitioner. Men may feel more comfortable discussing certain topics like anger, aggression, and sexuality with a male therapist. He also highlights the differences in communication styles between men and women, with men being more problem-solving oriented and women often seeking emotional support through talking.

Monk Mode and Self-Improvement

The concept of "monk mode" is discussed, where individuals focus on self-improvement and isolation. Dr. Taraban points out that while self-improvement is important, it should not become an end in itself. He emphasizes the importance of setting goals and taking action in the real world, rather than getting stuck in a cycle of self-improvement without a clear purpose. He mentions that delayed gratification to the extreme can result in no gratification at all.

The Importance of Action

Dr. Taraban highlights the importance of taking action in the present moment. He mentions that there is never an ideal time to make changes or take steps towards personal growth. The present moment is the only time in which action can occur, and individuals should seize the opportunity to make positive changes in their lives.

Hope and Despair

The discussion also touches on the concepts of hope and despair. Dr. Taraban shares insights from his experience working with individuals dealing with depression and hopelessness. He mentions that hope can be a double-edged sword, as it can create pain and suffering when expectations are not met. He also discusses how individuals may resist change and recovery out of fear of admitting their role in prolonging their suffering.

Black Pill and Incel Movement

Dr. Taraban briefly mentions the Black Pill and Incel movement, highlighting the sense of hopelessness and despair that some individuals in these communities experience. He discusses the concept of "ascending" within these groups, where individuals may resist change to maintain their identity as part of the community. He also touches on the role of narcissism in depression and the challenges of working with individuals who resist self-improvement.

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