Are Women Actually Happy With Modern Dating? - Louise Perry (4K)

Added: Dec 4, 2023

Perry highlights the impact of the decline in traditional family structures, citing statistics that show a significant number of young adults growing up without their biological fathers. She suggests that this may contribute to the perception that marriage is not working, as young people are influenced by the experiences of those around them. Perry also discusses the concept of mimetic desire, where individuals are influenced by the desires and behaviors of others, leading to a shift in societal norms and expectations.

The conversation then shifts to the topic of prudishness and licentiousness, with Perry noting that societal attitudes towards sexuality and relationships tend to fluctuate over time. She discusses the influence of technology, particularly the availability of hormonal birth control and the impact of the internet and pornography on societal norms. She also touches on the concept of conscientiousness and its heritability, suggesting that the current trend towards prudishness may be influenced by genetic factors.

Williams introduces a study from the Wall Street Journal that explores the changing attitudes of teens towards sex and romance in media. The study reveals that a significant percentage of young adults do not believe that sex is necessary for the plot in entertainment, and they express a desire to see less romance on screen and more content centered around platonic friendships. Perry and the host discuss the potential reasons behind this shift, including a pushback against porn culture, differential fertility rates, and the influence of Xenoestrogens.

The conversation then delves into the impact of declining birth rates on society, with Perry highlighting the challenges posed by the prioritization of short-term pleasure over long-term investments, such as having children. She discusses the societal shift towards prioritizing individual pleasure and career advancement over traditional family structures, leading to a decline in birth rates. She emphasizes the importance of long-term thinking and the sustainability of societal structures, pointing out the potential consequences of declining birth rates on the future of society.

Perry also addresses the evolving dynamics of gender roles and expectations, noting the impact of modern sexual culture on women's happiness. She discusses the promises of freedom and liberation that women were given in previous decades, highlighting the outliers who may be content with modern sexual culture. The conversation touches on the complexities of gender roles and the impact of societal changes on individual happiness and fulfillment.

Perry also discusses the paradoxes and unintended consequences of social movements and cultural shifts. For example, she mentions that the introduction of the pill led to an increase in single motherhood and abortions. She also talks about the gender pay gap and how it positively predicts both male and female satisfaction in relationships. Perry points out that the more unequal the earning opportunities are for men and women, the happier both men and women are in their relationships. She also discusses the impact of the Me Too movement on men's reluctance to approach women, citing a study that found 50% of men aged 18 to 24 have never approached a woman in person.

Perry delves into the concept of patriarchy, acknowledging that while societies where only men are allowed to be in positions of power and authority have traditionally been described as patriarchal, the term also applies to contemporary culture in terms of the deep-seated feeling that masculine things are of higher status than feminine things. She discusses the gender bias and the cognitive bias where people tend to prefer news stories that complement women's outcomes or achievements over men's.

The conversation shifts to the topic of marriage and relationships, where Perry discusses the concept of the "All or Nothing" marriage, where people have high expectations of their spouses to fulfill all their psychological needs. She also mentions the idea of abolishing big romance and the unrealistic expectations placed on marriage in contemporary culture. Perry discuss the historical and cultural norms around marriage and relationships, including the concept of arranged marriages and the shift towards more individualistic and romantic ideals.

Perry also discusses the impact of social media on teenage girls, emphasizing the negative effects of platforms like Instagram and TikTok on their mental health. She explains how these platforms create a false impression of intersexual competition, leading to increased pressure on young women to conform to unrealistic beauty standards. The conversation touches on the issue of teenage girls' dependence on the kindness of strangers to avoid dysphoria, highlighting the challenges faced by transgender individuals in navigating social interactions.

The discussion also delves into the concept of female rivalry and its influence on body positivity. Perry presents a theory that female support for body positivity is fueled, in part, by intersexual competition, as it discourages other women from losing weight and potentially becoming more attractive mates. She also shares insights into the normalization of cosmetic surgery, attributing it to women's bottomless desire for beauty-enhancing treatments and the influence of technological innovation in the beauty industry.

The conversation further explores the dynamics of intersexual competition and the role of beauty standards in signaling status and mate investment. Perry discusses the significance of long hair as a cue to youth and health, highlighting the impact of beauty trends on women's choices and behaviors. She also touches on the influence of gay men in the fashion industry and their preference for androgynous looks, which has contributed to the portrayal of skinny women in fashion.