Do They ACTUALLY Love You or Just Want Sex? HERE’S How to Know!

Added: Jan 14, 2025

The Nature of Love vs. Lust

Turecki begins by emphasizing that love and lust are fundamentally different experiences. Lust is characterized by intense chemistry, obsession, and a sense of novelty, often leading individuals to make impulsive decisions about relationships. In contrast, love is a deeper, more stable emotion that develops over time. It involves a genuine concern for the other person's well-being, where both partners' needs are equally valued. Turecki explains that true love is not just a feeling but a choice and a practice that requires effort and commitment.

The conversation highlights the common misconception that the initial excitement of a relationship equates to love. Turecki warns against making significant life decisions based solely on the intoxicating feelings of lust, as these emotions can cloud judgment and lead to unhealthy attachments. Instead, she advocates for taking the time to build a genuine emotional connection, which is marked by trust and safety, allowing for open communication and conflict resolution.

The Importance of Self-Awareness

A significant theme in the discussion is the necessity of self-awareness in relationships. Turecki asserts that individuals must have a clear understanding of themselves, including their needs, desires, and boundaries, before entering a relationship. She explains that many people enter relationships seeking to fill an emotional void, often leading to codependency. This dynamic can create unhealthy patterns where one partner feels responsible for the other's happiness.

Turecki emphasizes that individuals should not seek to be completed by another person but rather come into a relationship as whole individuals. This self-awareness fosters healthier connections and allows partners to support each other without losing their sense of identity. She encourages listeners to engage in self-reflection and to surround themselves with loving, supportive communities that reinforce their self-worth.

The Role of Communication

The conversation also delves into the critical role of communication in relationships. Turecki stresses the importance of being honest and transparent with partners about one's feelings, needs, and boundaries. She shares her own experiences of struggling to communicate effectively in her past relationships, often leading to misunderstandings and emotional pain.

Turecki advocates for having difficult conversations early in the dating process, as this can help establish alignment and mutual understanding. She acknowledges that these discussions can be uncomfortable but asserts that they are essential for building a strong foundation. By addressing potential issues upfront, partners can avoid the pitfalls of resentment and disappointment later on.

Navigating Rejection and Heartbreak

The discussion takes a poignant turn as Turecki addresses the pain of rejection and heartbreak. She acknowledges that many individuals, particularly women, often internalize rejection as a reflection of their worth. Turecki encourages listeners to reframe their perspective on rejection, viewing it as a natural part of life rather than a personal failure. She emphasizes that not everyone will be a perfect match, and that’s okay.

Turecki shares insights on how to cope with the emotional fallout of a breakup, urging individuals to focus on their own growth and healing. She highlights the importance of self-compassion and encourages listeners to seek support from friends and community during difficult times. By cultivating resilience and self-love, individuals can emerge stronger and more prepared for future relationships.

Making Peace with the Past

A particularly powerful segment of the conversation revolves around the necessity of making peace with one’s past, especially regarding parental relationships. Turecki shares her own journey of reconciling her complicated relationship with her father, who struggled with mental illness and emotional abuse. She emphasizes that unresolved issues with parents can manifest in adult relationships, often leading individuals to unconsciously repeat unhealthy patterns.

Turecki encourages listeners to confront their past and work through any lingering resentment or pain. She acknowledges that this process can be challenging, especially for those who have experienced trauma, but asserts that healing is possible. By addressing these issues, individuals can break free from the cycle of dysfunction and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

The Path to Healthy Relationships

Throughout the episode, Turecki reiterates that healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and open communication. She emphasizes that both partners must be willing to engage in self-reflection and personal growth to foster a successful partnership.