Phil Stutz Can Fix You: TOOLS For TRUE Confidence & What Only ADVERSITY Can Teach You | Rich Roll

Added: Jun 4, 2024

In this podcast episode, Rich Roll interviews Phil Stutz, a renowned Hollywood shrink with a diverse client list. The conversation delves into the dissatisfaction prevalent in our culture, the breakdown of institutions, and the importance of faith and spirituality in finding satisfaction and co-creating with higher forces.

The Dissatisfaction in Our Culture

Stutz observes that no one in our culture is satisfied, with individuals feeling like they haven't been paid what they deserve. This dissatisfaction is growing, and the old models of therapy and human nature are no longer effective. Stutz highlights the need for co-creating with higher forces to feel satisfaction, emphasizing the importance of faith as the foundation for action and confidence.

The Role of Faith and Spirituality

Stutz discusses the decline of faith organizations in America and the emphasis on rugged individualism, leading to a lack of spiritual conviction and connection to something greater than ourselves. He explains the importance of freely choosing faith without proof, taking action, and building confidence through repeated patterns. He acknowledges the resistance some individuals have towards faith and spirituality, especially those who have had negative experiences with organized religion.

The Pyramid of Faith, Action, and Confidence

Stutz introduces the concept of a pyramid with faith at the foundation, action in the middle, and confidence at the top. He explains that faith is a choice without proof, leading to action and ultimately confidence through consistent patterns. He contrasts this with the upside-down pyramid where ego and the need for proof dominate, hindering growth and satisfaction.

Institutional Corruption and Dissatisfaction

Stutz points out the cracks in institutions and the disillusionment with higher-level individuals who believe they are exempt from the dissatisfaction prevalent in society. He discusses how the focus on materialism and comparative value has led to a culture where people are constantly seeking more without finding true satisfaction. He emphasizes the need for individuals to accept reality, including pain, uncertainty, and the necessity for consistent work.

The Role of Groups and Relationships

Stutz highlights the importance of groups in facilitating a relationship with higher forces and deepening one's understanding of the unconscious. He notes that relationships with others, even in small groups, can help individuals connect with something greater than themselves and find value and meaning outside of materialistic pursuits.

The Fear of Failure and Success

The conversation touches on the fear of failure and success, with Stutz addressing the guilt and unworthiness that can accompany unexpected success. He explores the impact of upbringing and achievement-oriented households on individuals' sense of self-worth and value. He encourages individuals to find value in themselves without relying solely on external metrics like money or success.

Stutz challenges the idea of using money as a metric for success and satisfaction, highlighting the importance of embracing the unknown and tapping into one's power and potential. He encourages individuals to confront their fears and explore what could happen if they give themselves over to growth and self-discovery.

Struggles with Alcoholism and Finding Purpose

Rich Roll opens up about his past struggles with alcoholism, which led him to dark places filled with shame, guilt, and embarrassment. However, through getting sober and rebuilding his life, he found a sense of purpose and fulfillment in serving others. He emphasizes the importance of finding meaning by tethering one's unique experiences to something that is helpful to others.

Balancing Individuality and Collective Well-Being

The conversation shifts towards the concept of balancing individuality and collective well-being. Stutz reflects on the societal pressure to prioritize personal success and recognition, often at the expense of serving the greater good. He acknowledges the need to embrace both aspects and emphasizes the role of sacrifice in aligning individual goals with the well-being of the community. He draws inspiration from Rudolf Steiner's philosophy, which suggests that true freedom and fulfillment come from choosing to sacrifice for the benefit of others.

Challenges in Intimacy and Relationships

Roll's wife expresses concerns about his tendency to over-intellectualize and prioritize rationality over emotional intimacy. She highlights the importance of deepening their relationship beyond intellectual discussions and urges Roll to let go of his walls and fears to connect on a deeper level. He acknowledges the disconnect in his relationship with his wife, stemming from his avoidant behavior and reluctance to confront his vulnerabilities. He recognizes the need to dissolve his ego and embrace uncertainty to foster intimacy and connection with his partner.

Tools for Personal Growth and Transformation

To address his challenges in intimacy and relationships, Roll is encouraged to identify moments where his intellect hinders emotional connection with his wife. He is advised to dissolve his ego and embrace vulnerability by flying under the banner of ignorance. This involves actively changing the dynamic with his wife through acts of love and genuine interaction. He is urged to concentrate on love as a substance, bringing it into his heart and sending it to his wife without holding back. By practicing acts of love and vulnerability, he can overcome his avoidant tendencies and deepen his emotional connection with his partner.

Active Love and Connection

Stutz talks about the concept of active love, which involves giving love even when you don't agree with the other person. He emphasizes the importance of creating a sense of wholeness and unity through love, regardless of differences. He explains that active love is a constant giving that cannot be blocked, as it is a reflexive action that transcends individual disagreements. He also discusses the idea of a higher bond in relationships, where individuals dissolve into a shared identity beyond their individual selves.

Navigating Uncertainty and Growth

The conversation touches on the theme of uncertainty and how it is a crucial element for growth and creativity. Stutz illustrates the concept of uncertainty as a horizontal line, with clarity on one side and flow on the other. He emphasizes the importance of traversing through uncertainty, experiencing setbacks, and overcoming challenges to create value and growth. He highlights the significance of embracing discomfort and challenges as opportunities for personal development and self-discovery.

Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity

Roll and Stutz discuss the power of vulnerability and authenticity in personal growth. They explore the idea that sharing one's struggles and insecurities can lead to greater freedom and self-awareness. Stutz encourages embracing discomfort and facing difficult emotions as a pathway to deeper connection and self-actualization. He emphasizes the importance of being open to feedback and guidance from others to gain a more objective perspective on one's journey.

Balancing Authority and Humanity

Stutz acknowledges Roll's unique combination of being an authority figure while also displaying empathy and humanity. He praises Roll for his ability to empathize with others and connect on a human level, despite his authoritative presence. He highlights the importance of balancing knowledge and expertise with compassion and understanding in interactions with others. He encourages Roll to speak more from the heart and connect authentically with his audience to convey his message effectively.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

The conversation concludes with a reflection on the journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Stutz expresses his admiration for Roll's willingness to explore discomfort and face challenges as opportunities for growth. He emphasizes the transformative power of embracing uncertainty and navigating through setbacks to create value and meaning in life. He encourages Roll to continue on his path of self-discovery and vulnerability, recognizing the potential for profound growth and connection in the process.


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