How to Build the Life You Want (Even When You Feel Overloaded, Exhausted, & Uncertain)

Shifting Perspectives on Limits and Possibility

Gerardi begins by addressing one of the most common self-imposed barriers: the limiter placed on our imagination regarding what we can achieve. She recalls how she once viewed achievements like space flight as reserved for "extraordinary" people—completely out of reach for someone like her. Over time, she learned that this mindset was a form of self-limitation and that ordinary people have the power to make themselves capable of extraordinary feats. This shift involves "adjusting the limiter" on your imagination by envisioning what life could look like if you removed every perceived boundary. Gerardi encourages listeners to zoom out beyond their current goals and imagine what success looks like when multiplied by 30, 50, or 100, liberating themselves to dream without self-imposed constraints.

Starting Small and Building Reputation

One of the earliest chapters of Gerardi's journey illustrates how proximity to your dreams, combined with wholehearted effort, can lead to meaningful opportunities. While in college, she landed a coat check job at the prestigious Explorers Club, a hub for boundary-pushing explorers, astronauts, and scientists. Despite the job's seeming lack of glamour, Gerardi approached it with 150% effort, developing a reputation for attention to detail, responsibility, and professionalism. This intentional crafting of her reputation enabled her to be entrusted with significant responsibilities, such as chairing a major fundraising event, and eventually led to her being appointed to the club's executive board. Through her example, Gerardi teaches the critical lesson that excellence in small or unglamorous opportunities lays the foundation for future breakthroughs. How you do anything is truly how you do everything.

The Wonders and Emotional Impact of Space Flight

Gerardi's career in bioastronautics led her to conduct over 150 microgravity research flights, flying on airplanes known as the "vomit comet" to simulate weightlessness in short bursts. These flights paved the way for her dream of conducting longer-duration research in space. The pinnacle of her journey was her own flight into space—a breathtaking experience that profoundly changed her perspective. When looking down at Earth, Gerardi describes an indescribable awe and a humbling realization of how small we all are in the grand cosmos. This perspective shift brought a sense of inner peace and a reminder of the vastness beyond individual concerns. As a mother, Gerardi also felt the poignant reality of being physically separated from her child on a different planet, a deeply emotional and humbling moment she carries with her.

Balancing Motherhood, Marriage, and Ambitious Dreams

One of the most compelling and candid parts of the conversation involves Gerardi's navigation of motherhood alongside her demanding career and space aspirations. She discusses the societal contradictions faced by women—raised to believe they can be anything, only to face criticism when they pursue ambitious dreams while also being mothers. Gerardi rejects the harmful idea that dedicating time to personal passions makes a mother selfish. Instead, she embraces the notion that modeling courage to chase one's full potential is a gift to her child. Handling criticism, especially motherhood-related guilt and judgment, remains challenging, but Gerardi shares how she chooses not to marinate in guilt and instead distinguish between feeling guilt in the moment and not regretting the choices made. She highlights a powerful mental model—some responsibilities are like "glass balls" (fragile and non-negotiable), while others are "plastic balls" (more flexible). Managing priorities with this analogy helps her juggle multiple roles imperfectly but thoughtfully, recognizing imperfection is inevitable.

Dealing with Criticism and Protecting Your Peace

Gerardi also opens up about the criticism she faces, both online and in everyday life, for living a life that many find unconventional or difficult to understand. Her approach is to carefully evaluate the source and intent of criticism. She distinguishes between concerns coming from a place of love and ill-intentioned attacks. She has cultivated a strong support network—her "people"—who understand and uplift her, creating a protective fence around her peace. Gerardi's mindset on online negativity is rooted in the "let them" philosophy—letting critics say what they will without giving their words power over her. She emphasizes the futility of engaging with those who are intent on tearing you down and encourages listeners to preserve their energy by focusing on their own truth, intentions, and supportive allies.

Transparency in Struggle: Breaking the Silence Around IVF and Loss

A distinctive aspect of Gerardi's journey is her courageous openness about her fertility struggles and IVF journey, which she has shared with millions of followers around the world. Facing secondary infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss over nearly eight years, Gerardi chose to break the stigma that forces many to suffer in silence. She explains the exhausting, all-consuming nature of IVF—from the daily hormonal shots to the emotional rollercoaster of hopes and devastating losses. Gerardi recounts how she shared the heartbreak of miscarriage after a hopeful pregnancy, embracing transparency even when some suggested she should have waited to share. She reframes the idea of hope versus bracing for disappointment, choosing to live in optimism because the alternative is to endure prolonged, heavy anticipation filled with anxiety. Through her willingness to share both triumphs and setbacks in real time, she cultivates community support and offers comfort to others navigating similar paths. Gerardi's story illuminates the power of openness as a release valve and a source of connection, eroding shame and isolation.

Maintaining Resilience and "Why Not Me?"

Throughout her tale, Gerardi returns to a core mindset: "Why not me?" This quiet confidence—blending humility and determination—fuels her persistence despite setbacks and uncertainty. She acknowledges it is not about ego or entitlement but a belief that if one works hard and perseveres, achieving extraordinary things is possible. Gerardi stresses that failure does not equate to defeat; instead, it calls for a shift in approach while holding firm to the goal. Her journey demonstrates that resilience, sustained motivation, and adaptability allow ordinary people to transcend limits and realize remarkable dreams. She encourages listeners to show up, try, and keep trying regardless of initial discomfort or fear. Dreaming bigger means taking risks, facing judgment, and juggling competing demands, but the alternative—playing small—is far less fulfilling.

The Power of Reinvention and Looking Ahead

Gerardi shares a profound insight on embracing reinvention beyond singular achievements. After fulfilling her early dream of space flight, she experienced an identity moment of uncertainty about what comes next—a feeling familiar to many after significant milestones. She celebrates the freedom to reinvent herself at any stage, whether doubling down on family, pursuing new ventures, or following unexpected passions. She urges listeners to clarify what energizes or drains them as a compass for new directions. This openness to change and willingness to explore yet unseen possibilities fuels ongoing growth and fulfillment.

Final Message: Permission to Dream and Act

To conclude, Gerardi offers a call to action: give yourself permission to dream bigger and remove self-imposed limitations. Play out your life's possibilities at a scale greater than what you currently envision. Imagine what your days and energy would look like if everything went right. Then take those first steps with the mindset, "If I work hard enough and long enough, why not me?" This shift from limiting beliefs to empowered dreaming is the essential foundation for building the life you want—no matter how overwhelmed or uncertain you may feel right now.