The Divorce Expert: 86% Of People Who Divorce Remarry! Why Sex Is Causing Divorces!

Added: May 20, 2024

The Purpose of Marriage

Sexton delves into the concept of love and marriage, questioning the purpose of marriage and why it is often assumed that people will get married. He emphasizes that all marriages end, either in death or divorce, and underscores the necessity of discussing difficult topics like prenuptial agreements before getting married. According to Sexton, prenups allow couples to define the rules of their relationship, particularly regarding finances, in case of a breakup.

Love as an Economic Exchange

The conversation shifts to the topic of gold diggers, where Sexton explains that love operates as an economy with a give-and-take dynamic. He notes that it is common to see relationships where one partner provides financial stability while the other brings qualities like beauty or personality. He believes that as long as both parties are aware of the dynamics of their relationship, there is no issue with one partner benefiting financially from the other.

The Importance of Prenuptial Agreements

Sexton emphasizes the importance of prenuptial agreements in preventing misunderstandings and conflicts during a divorce. He shares examples of cases where the absence of a prenup led to contentious divorces and financial disputes. He also discusses the enforceability of prenups, stating that as long as they are not unconscionable, they are legally binding.

The Impact of Prenups on Relationships

The conversation touches on the impact of prenups on relationships, with Sexton mentioning instances where the discussion of a prenup led to the cancellation of a marriage. He stresses the importance of open communication and honesty in relationships, especially when it comes to difficult topics like prenuptial agreements.

Role as Divorce Lawyer

Sexton also addresses his role as a divorce lawyer, which involves acting as both a legal advisor and a counselor. He mentions that his background in psychology helps him navigate the emotional complexities of divorce cases and provide holistic advice to his clients.

Prenuptial Agreements on the Rise

Sexton notes that prenuptial agreements are becoming more common, especially among people in their 20s and early 30s. He explains that prenups are enforceable contracts that outline the division of assets in case of divorce. He gives examples of extreme prenups, such as one where the wife would lose $10,000 in alimony for every 10 pounds she gained during the marriage.

Disapproval of Fidelity Clauses

The discussion then moves to fidelity clauses, which are clauses included in prenups or postnups that outline penalties for cheating. Sexton expresses his disapproval of fidelity clauses, stating that defining cheating can be tricky and that there are already natural consequences for infidelity.

The Illusion of Perfect Relationships

Sexton talks about the performative nature of relationships on social media, where people often portray their relationships as perfect and happy, even when they may be struggling. He emphasizes the importance of real connection, intimacy, and communication in a relationship, rather than focusing on appearances or external validation.

Preventative Maintenance in Relationships

The concept of preventative maintenance in relationships is introduced, where small gestures of kindness, appreciation, and communication can help maintain a strong and healthy relationship. Sexton gives examples of leaving notes for your partner or expressing gratitude and affection regularly.

The Importance of Sexual Intimacy

Sexton highlights the importance of sex in a relationship, stating that it is the glue that holds a romantic relationship together. He discusses the significance of maintaining physical and emotional intimacy with your partner and how lack of sex can lead to dissatisfaction and potential issues in a relationship.

Focus on Your Own Relationship

The podcast delves into the idea that comparing oneself to others in relationships can lead to feelings of inadequacy or dissatisfaction. Sexton encourages listeners to focus on their own relationship dynamics and communication rather than comparing themselves to others.

Infidelity in Both Genders

Sexton delves into the topic of infidelity, stating that both men and women cheat with a high frequency. He notes that men generally desire more sex, while women prioritize quality over quantity. The guest shares anecdotes of extreme cases of infidelity that he has encountered in his career, including individuals maintaining two families simultaneously without either party's knowledge. He also discusses the phenomenon of wealthy clients engaging in affairs with their nannies, attributing it to the simplicity and mystery associated with the nanny's role.

Maintaining Individual Identity in Marriage

Sexton highlights the importance of maintaining individual interests and passions within a marriage, urging spouses not to lose sight of their own identity amidst their familial responsibilities. He suggests that embracing aspects of oneself can help individuals maintain a sense of self within the relationship.

Complexities of Divorce Cases

Sexton reflects on the complexities of divorce cases, noting that infidelity is often a symptom rather than the root cause of marital issues. He emphasizes the need to address underlying issues in a relationship rather than solely focusing on the act of cheating. He shares his experiences of working with clients who have faced extreme situations, such as attempted murder and suicide, as a result of their marital struggles. He acknowledges the challenging nature of his profession, where he must navigate the delicate balance between advocating for his clients' interests and the potential consequences of his actions on their lives.

Navigating the complexities of relationships

Sexton shares personal anecdotes and insights into relationships, highlighting the complexities and challenges that couples face. He talks about the impermanence of relationships and the importance of cherishing moments with loved ones, whether it's a pet or a partner. He discusses the concept of soulmates and how the idea of a perfect match can sometimes lead to dissatisfaction in relationships. He encourages people to view relationships as chapters in a book, each offering valuable lessons and growth opportunities.

Emotional Impact of Divorce

The conversation delves into the emotional aspects of divorce, with Sexton sharing stories of clients who have gone through difficult times. He talks about the impact of job loss on marriages, particularly how men can struggle with their sense of identity and self-worth when they lose their job. He also touches on the dynamics of power and control within relationships, especially when there is a significant economic disparity between partners.

Legal Aspects of Divorce

Sexton provides insights into the legal aspects of divorce, including mandatory discovery and the process of reviewing financial records during divorce proceedings. He discusses common tactics used to hide assets during divorce, such as transferring ownership to family members or concealing debts. He mentions that in most jurisdictions, there are protections against fraudulent conveyances designed to thwart legal remedies in divorce cases.

Celebrity divorces and financial challenges

The conversation also touches on the topic of celebrity divorces and the challenges of dealing with debt structures within a marriage. Sexton highlights the importance of understanding the financial situation of both partners to avoid surprises during divorce proceedings. He mentions that credit card debt and leased assets can often be overlooked, leading to financial complications during divorce.

Reimagining Relationship Norms in LGBTQ+ Community

Sexton also touches on the topic of marriage equality and how the LGBTQ+ community has redefined traditional relationship norms. He discusses how gay and lesbian couples have had to create their own rules and norms around relationships due to historical marginalization and discrimination. Sexton reflects on the unique dynamics and challenges faced by LGBTQ+ couples in navigating relationships and marriage.

Challenges of Non-Monogamous Relationships

The conversation shifts towards open relationships and ethical non-monogamy, with Sexton sharing his observations on the success rates of such arrangements. He acknowledges that he primarily sees couples in his office who have tried non-monogamous relationships and faced challenges, but he also recognizes that there may be successful cases that he is not exposed to.

Redefining the Purpose of Marriage

Sexton challenges the traditional notion of marriage and questions the underlying reasons for getting married. He encourages individuals to reflect on the purpose of marriage and whether it truly serves their needs and desires. He emphasizes the importance of honest communication, accountability, and mutual support in relationships, regardless of marital status.

Reflections on True Love

Towards the end of the podcast, Sexton reflects on the concept of true love and shares personal anecdotes about experiencing love in various forms. He highlights moments of deep connection, vulnerability, and selflessness that define true love for him. He emphasizes the impermanence of love and the importance of cherishing and appreciating the moments of love and connection that we experience in life.