The Evolutionary Psychology Of Love, Lust & Cheating - Dr Anna Machin
Added: Jul 28, 2024
Dr. Anna Machin explains that love evolved as a form of biological bribery to motivate humans to engage in cooperative relationships essential for survival and reproduction. While cooperation is difficult and stressful, love provides neurochemical rewards that make it feel good. Most mammals experience basic forms of love through attachment and nurturing behaviors, but human love is more complex. Some higher mammals like dolphins, whales, and great apes may experience human-like love based on criteria like attachment, specific neurochemistry, grief, friendships, and cognitive empathy.
Love involves multiple neurochemical systems, including dopamine for motivation and reward, oxytocin for social bonding, beta-endorphin for long-term attachment, and serotonin for obsessive feelings. This complex neurochemical cocktail evolved to make humans form and maintain critical survival relationships. While love can feel magical, at its core it serves the evolutionary function of promoting behaviors that aid survival and reproduction.
Stages of Romantic Love
Dr. Machin outlines the stages of romantic love, starting with lust and attraction as separate systems. Lust is driven by sex hormones, while attraction involves oxytocin and dopamine. The initial attraction stage is largely unconscious, as the brain rapidly processes sensory information about a potential mate's genetic quality and reproductive fitness. This triggers floods of oxytocin and dopamine in reward centers of the brain.
As attraction becomes more conscious, people start actively contemplating the person and considering factors like compatibility. Women have an additional unconscious mate selection mechanism - the ability to smell genetic compatibility through differences in immune system genes. This likely evolved to prevent inbreeding and promote offspring with diverse immune systems.
Long-term love relies more on beta-endorphin, the body's natural opioid. Unlike oxytocin, humans don't develop tolerance to beta-endorphin over time, making it ideal for maintaining lasting bonds. Beta-endorphin is released through various social bonding activities beyond just sexual relationships.
Cultural Influences on Love
While the neurochemistry of love is universal, culture strongly shapes how love is defined and expressed. Dr. Machin notes there is more variation in how individuals within a culture experience love than between cultures. However, cultures do tell different stories about love, especially to children. For example, Western cultures emphasize romantic love, while other cultures may view love as more spiritual or family-centered.
Gender differences in experiencing love are more influenced by cultural messaging than biology. Brain scans show no significant differences between men and women in love. However, cultural gender norms impact how love is expressed. For instance, some cultures discourage men from showing strong emotions related to love.
The Dark Side of Love
Dr. Machin discusses how the intense need for love can be exploited for manipulation and control. Humans are unique in using love as a tool for manipulation. While minor forms like jealousy can serve a purpose, love can enable abuse and coercion in extreme cases.
Dr. Machin has studied male victims of domestic abuse, who often stay in abusive relationships out of love. Some believe they can change their abuser through love, while others stay to protect their children. The addictive nature of love's neurochemicals can make it difficult for some to leave abusive situations.
Some personality types, like those with "dark triad" traits of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism, are more likely to use love for manipulation and abuse. Often, this stems from their own childhood experiences of abuse, perpetuating cycles of toxic relationships.
Modern Dating and Technology
Online dating apps have not fundamentally changed the neurobiology of attraction and love, but they have altered how people meet potential partners. Dr. Machin argues these should be called "introduction apps" rather than dating apps, as they cannot replicate the full sensory experience needed to truly assess attraction and compatibility.
The efficiency of dating apps can reduce the effort people put into forming relationships. However, valuable relationships generally require time and effort to develop. Dr. Machin advises setting strict rules when using dating apps, like limiting messaging and meeting in person quickly to allow for proper assessment of attraction.
Reality dating shows provide entertainment by tapping into humans' innate interest in others' relationships. While not entirely representative of natural behavior, they can offer some insights into relationship dynamics. However, viewers should recognize these shows are heavily produced and edited.
Parasocial Relationships
Dr. Machin has studied parasocial relationships - one-sided attachments to celebrities or fictional characters. While once considered pathological in adults, research shows most people with parasocial attachments have normal social lives and relationships. These attachments can fulfill certain needs or fantasies.
Parasocial relationships became more common with the rise of television, as the brain doesn't fully distinguish between people on screens and in real life. They can be developmentally important for teenagers exploring sexuality and identity. With social media, people now have more perceived connection to the objects of their parasocial attachments.
Religious Love and Attachment
Dr. Machin draws parallels between parasocial attachments and religious love. Humans have the remarkable ability to form deep attachment relationships with non-physical entities like gods. Brain scans of religious people having mystical experiences show activation patterns similar to romantic love.
Dr. Machin interviewed nuns about their relationships with God, finding they experience many hallmarks of human relationships like reciprocity, maintenance behaviors, and empathy. Religious attachments can provide significant health and wellbeing benefits, particularly for those who engage in personal prayer and conversation with God rather than just ritualistic practices.
The Importance of Friendship
Dr. Machin's research has found that for many women, close female friendships provide more emotional intimacy than romantic relationships. There is a growing trend of women choosing to remain single and prioritizing friendships as their primary relationships. This shift is enabled by increased financial independence and reproductive control for women.
These chosen family networks of close friends can provide equivalent health and wellbeing benefits to romantic or family relationships. Dr. Machin sees this as a cultural revolution in how women structure their support systems and survival-critical relationships.
Male friendships tend to be less physically and emotionally expressive in Western cultures, but this varies significantly across cultures. Dr. Machin believes men could benefit from being more open about emotional vulnerabilities with friends, as this deepens bonds.
Genetic and Environmental Influences
Love is influenced by a complex interplay of genetics and environment. Certain gene variants affect how people experience and express love, empathy, and attachment. However, early childhood experiences also strongly shape the brain's capacity for relationships.
Children raised in nurturing environments develop denser neural connections in areas related to social cognition. Those from neglectful environments may have underdeveloped social brain regions. However, some people have "armor-plated genes" that make them more resilient to negative environments.
The Limitations of Evolutionary Psychology
While evolutionary psychology provides useful frameworks for understanding human mating behavior, Dr. Machin acknowledges it cannot fully capture the subjective experience of love. The phenomenology of love - how it actually feels to be in love - is difficult to reduce to evolutionary explanations.
Dr. Machin suggests art, literature, and other cultural expressions may be better suited to conveying the lived experience of love. While we can measure brain activity and hormone levels, much about the subjective nature of love remains unexplained by science.
Conclusion
Dr. Machin emphasizes that love permeates nearly every aspect of human life and culture. While science has uncovered many of its biological underpinnings, love remains a complex, multifaceted phenomenon that continues to inspire awe. Understanding love's evolutionary origins and neurochemical bases does not diminish its power or importance in human experience.
By studying love from multiple angles - biological, psychological, cultural, and experiential - we can gain a richer understanding of this fundamental human drive. Dr. Machin's work highlights how love shapes our brains, bodies, relationships, and societies in profound ways that we are only beginning to fully comprehend.
