Added: Aug 12, 2023
In this podcast episode, Chris Williamson interviews John Lovell, a former Army Ranger and founder of the Warrior Poet Society. Lovell discusses the concept of living free and dying well, which is central to the Warrior Poet ethos. He explains that living for a higher purpose and being ready to sacrifice in the defense of others is essential to living well in the present. Lovell emphasizes the importance of starting with the end in mind and not getting caught up in the tyranny of the urgent, which often leads to a reactive and stressful life.Lovell shares his personal experience of facing death multiple times during his military service. He describes a near ambush situation where he was the lead driver in a stripped-down Humvee. Despite being hit by a 50-caliber bullet and having a blown-out tire, he managed to react and escape the ambush. He also mentions other encounters, such as gunfights and room-to-room combat, where he came close to death. Lovell reflects on the different emotions he experienced in these situations, ranging from fear and freezing up to anger and calm determination. The discussion then shifts to the relevance of warriors in today's world. Lovell explains that being a warrior is not limited to military service but encompasses the virtues and strengths of a man. He believes that men are meant to be strong protectors and providers, embodying both the warrior and poet archetypes. The warrior represents strength, courage, and leadership, while the poet represents love, emotion, and the pursuit of truth. Lovell argues that passive men who lack these qualities are weak in both areas and are not actively pursuing their purpose or engaging in meaningful relationships. The conversation touches on the challenges men face in finding their position in modern masculinity. Lovell acknowledges that there is a fear of being seen as a tyrant if men embrace their masculine traits too strongly. However, he also highlights the importance of balancing strength with vulnerability and pursuing both romantic and intellectual pursuits. Lovell believes that passive men who prioritize self-preservation and lack ambition are not fulfilling their potential as warriors or poets. Lovell discusses his personal journey of growing in both warrior and poet aspects, and how it helped him to save his marriage and become a better man. He believes that men are predisposed to lean more towards one aspect than the other, but they should strive to grow in both. Lovell describes himself as naturally more of a warrior, but he had to learn how to be loving, affectionate, and emotionally vulnerable in order to save his marriage. He emphasizes the incredible power and depth of a flourishing wife and the importance of fighting for a strong and passionate relationship. When asked about how men can open up without feeling weak or fragile, Lovell believes that there is a misunderstanding about what strength really is. He believes that strength is not just physical, but also emotional, spiritual, and mental. He encourages men to be smart, read books, and develop their mental strength. He also emphasizes the importance of humility, which he believes is the center of morality. He believes that pride is the center of immorality and that humility allows for selflessness and the ability to live a good and meaningful life. Lovell shares a story about his experience with a middle-aged man who was his sparring partner in wrestling. Despite the man's appearance, he was fast and skilled, and he easily defeated Lovell. This experience made Lovell realize that the most dangerous men are often the most humble and unassuming. He believes that humility allows for teachability and the ability to progress and grow. Arrogant men can only get so far, but humble men have deeper reservoirs of character and resilience. Lovell also discusses the fear of failure and the importance of accepting the possibility of losing. He believes that by entertaining the idea of failure, one can prepare better and find fuel for training and game planning. He encourages his sons to be afraid but not let fear stop them. He believes that it is okay to cry and show vulnerability, as long as it is for the right reasons, such as being overcome with love for someone. Lovell continues shares a conversation he had with someone who had gone through a difficult period in their life. This person had always feared that deep down, he might be a coward and wouldn't be able to face challenges when they arose. Lovell emphasizes that many of the challenges we face in life are within our control, but sometimes, everything can come crashing down, and we get to see what we're truly made of. He believes that it's important to acknowledge and confront the fear of being a coward. He admits that he, too, has moments of cowardice and recognizes the need to be strong in all areas of life. Lovell encourages listeners to run towards their fears and face them head-on, as this is an opportunity for growth. He also mentions the power of love in overcoming fear. Lovell references a quote from the Bible that states, "Perfect love casts out all fear". He explains that when we have a deep love for something or someone, we become bold and willing to face any challenge to protect them. He believes that being perfected in love and righteousness can help us overcome fear. Lovell shares a personal story about his late mentor, Kevin, who was a strong and brave individual. When Kevin passed away in a motorcycle accident, Lovell witnessed the strength and faith of Kevin's wife, Kelly. Despite her grief, Kelly said, "I don't know what God is doing, but He's sovereign". Lovell admires Kelly's faith and believes that it was her faith that made her strong in the face of tragedy. The conversation then shifts to the importance of facing death before you die. Lovell explains that facing death helps us prioritize what truly matters in life. He suggests writing a death letter, which is a letter to loved ones that expresses your last words and thoughts. This exercise forces individuals to reflect on their relationships, resolve conflicts, and tie up loose ends. By doing so, they can be unshackled and ready to face any challenge, or even death. Lovell also emphasizes the need to settle the most important philosophical and theological questions in life. He believes that unresolved conflicts and unanswered questions can distract and hinder individuals from acting heroically when faced with difficult situations. By settling these questions, individuals can focus on the present and be prepared to act when needed.
