New Crisis? How AI Girlfriends Are Changing Love and Connection | Scott Galloway

In this podcast episode, host Mayim Bialik and Jonathan Cohen engage with Scott Galloway, a serial entrepreneur and best-selling author, to explore the multifaceted challenges facing young men today. The conversation traverses the impact of technology, synthetic relationships, economic shifts, and changing societal norms on male identity, intimacy, and mental health. Galloway offers insights into how young men's brains are affected by false intimacy and economic insecurity, the dynamics of dating in a digitized world, the evolving role of fathers, and the potential societal consequences if these issues remain unaddressed.

The Crisis Among Young Men

Scott Galloway frames the struggles of young men as a "five alarm fire," highlighting bleak statistics about their relationships, economic prospects, and mental health. He points out that while older generations of white heterosexual males benefited immensely from post-World War II economic growth, young men now face significant disadvantages. Only one in three men under 30 are in relationships, compared to two in three women who tend to date older. Men are also dropping out of college at higher rates, with women surpassing men significantly in tertiary education. Notably, a disturbing number of young men—about one in seven—are "NEETs," neither in education, employment, nor training. Galloway underscores that these men spend less time outdoors than prison inmates, a symbol of isolation amplified by digital immersion.

Technology's Hijack: Synthetic Relationships and AI

A major theme is the hijacking of young men's brains by technology and synthetic relationships. Two-thirds of people under 18 reportedly engage in some form of synthetic relationship mediated by AI or online personas. These relationships offer a "god-like" figure who requires no emotional reciprocity or effort, providing constant affirmation without friction, rejection, or vulnerability. Galloway warns that this creates an "asocial, asexual species," where young men lose essential social skills and resilience needed for real human relationships. The emotional labor of balancing needs, experiencing rejection, and offering love is bypassed, potentially leading to anxiety, loneliness, and addiction. The business model of social media companies fosters this by maximizing screen time through dopamine-driven engagement tactics, making it harder for young men to disengage and invest in real-world connections.

Economic and Social Shifts Impacting Male Identity

The economic landscape has changed drastically, closing off traditional male pathways to success. Many of the vocational on-ramps once accessible to boys without college degrees—such as manufacturing and skilled trades—have disappeared or diminished. In education, boys lag behind girls biologically and socially; their prefrontal cortex matures approximately 18 months later, causing boys to struggle with the behaviors schools reward, such as sitting still and engaging verbally. This developmental gap contributes to boys' lower academic achievement and social outcomes. On top of that, the digitization of the dating market creates winner-take-most dynamics where a few men receive most female attention, exacerbating feelings of rejection and discouragement among many men.

The Challenges of Modern Dating

Online dating platforms are criticized for creating highly skewed attention distributions and fostering rejection for many men. Galloway explains that while a few men garner much of the attention, the majority struggle to compete, leading many to simply opt out of dating. Synthetic alternatives and online forums like Reddit and Discord provide easy but hollow substitutes for genuine relationships, reducing young men's motivation to develop social skills. Moreover, women report mixed feelings about dating interactions, facing both the absence of men's approaches and encounters with unwelcome or "creepy" advances, creating a confusing and contradictory environment.

The Role of Personal Effort and Kindness

Despite the challenges, Galloway emphasizes personal agency and self-improvement as vital paths forward. He advises young men to strive for "demonstrable excellence," incorporating a commitment to growth, kindness, and emotional intelligence. Contrary to the popular "incel" narrative, he argues most so-called involuntarily celibate men are actually voluntarily celibate, choosing isolation over effort. He urges young men to cultivate friendships with women, practice kindness without expectation of reciprocation, and build resilience through facing rejection. Success in relationships hinges less on physical attractiveness and more on signaling competence, intellect—often demonstrated through humor—and kindness.

Male Maturity and Gender Differences

The discussion touches on biological and sociological factors influencing male development. Boys' slower neurological maturation, particularly in impulse control and emotional regulation, explains some of their struggles in education and relationships. Galloway and the hosts acknowledge the cultural shifts that have complicated traditional male roles, with women's economic advancement sometimes misunderstood as a cause for men's decline. They clarify that women's progress is essential and not to blame; rather, men and society need to adjust to new realities that redefine mutual responsibilities and expectations.

The Father Wound and Male Role Models

A profound concern raised is the absence of strong male role models for many boys, especially in single-parent households predominantly led by mothers. Research cited shows boys lacking male role models are more likely to be incarcerated than graduate from college. The U.S. leads global statistics in single-parent homes, heavily skewing towards mother-headed households. Galloway stresses the need for men of older generations to "pay it forward" by mentoring and emotionally supporting young men. However, societal taboos and logistical challenges reduce male participation in mentorship roles, further deepening the void in male presence in boys' lives.

Changing Relationship Dynamics Between Men and Women

The conversation explores the evolving expectations of romantic partnerships. While women often seek emotional availability and sensitivity in partners, Galloway highlights the distinction between true sensitivity and over-sensitivity, which can hinder communication and connection. He mentions that men generally develop emotional awareness differently, often expressing connection through "shoulder-to-shoulder" activities rather than face-to-face conversational intimacy. The intersection of these differing emotional styles creates challenges but also opportunities for growth and understanding within relationships.

The Business Model of Social Media and AI

The financial incentives underlying technology companies exacerbate men's struggles. Their models depend on maximizing user engagement, often employing algorithms that amplify negative emotions, reinforce addictive behaviors, and fragment attention. Galloway compares this to an addictive substance, seducing users with endless content tailored to their preferences and vulnerabilities. The advent of AI further intensifies this, allowing real-time, personalized synthetic relationships that never require compromise or emotional labor, widening social isolation under the guise of connection.

The Dangers of AI and Synthetic Relationships for Youth

A particularly alarming topic is the unregulated rise of AI companions and chatbots engaging with minors. Reports include AI entities engaging in sexually explicit conversations with children as young as 13, sometimes using licensed celebrity voices, further blurring lines. Cases of tragic suicides linked to AI "relationships" illustrate the potential mental health risks. The absence of genuine reciprocity or boundaries in these interactions can distort youths' understanding of relationships and emotional resilience, with calls for stronger regulations and age-gating measures.

The Importance of Real Human Interaction and Purpose

Galloway underscores that deep, meaningful human relationships are critical to well-being and happiness. The arduous process of building friendships, facing rejection, holding jobs, and forming romantic connections imbues life with purpose. Without these, people risk loneliness, depression, and a sense of emptiness that synthetic experiences cannot fulfill. He laments the possibility of future generations feeling they never truly achieved "victory" in life's fundamental relationships, warning against succumbing to artificial substitutes.

Fatherhood, Divorce, and Male Availability

The impact of divorce on father-son relationships is examined with candid reflection. Many men lose substantial contact with their children post-divorce, severing crucial emotional and developmental ties. Galloway advises that the best thing a father can do is maintain kindness and emotional commitment to the children's mother, which sets a healthy relational model for boys. The hosts share personal anecdotes about parenting post-divorce, highlighting the loss of unstructured "garbage time" spent casually connecting with children, which is vital for emotional bonding.

Gendered Communication Styles and Socialization

Differences in male and female social interaction styles come into focus, particularly regarding emotional expression and friendship patterns. Women often engage face-to-face, sharing vulnerabilities and verbal connection, while men tend to bond through shared activities and indirect communication cues. Recognizing and accommodating these differences is essential in fostering authentic connections and mitigating loneliness among men.

The Role of Compulsory Service and Brotherhood

Galloway advocates for structured, purposeful group activities such as compulsory community service or military-style programs to provide young men with brotherhood, shared goals, and emotional development. These experiences cultivate resilience, teamwork, and a sense of belonging, combating isolation and fostering masculine identity in healthy ways.

Emotional Maturity and Sensitivity in Men

The episode acknowledges the ongoing evolution in expectations around male emotional maturity. Men are encouraged to develop deeper emotional awareness and kindness without compromising their ability to provide stability and protection. This balanced emotional intelligence helps men become better partners and parents while respecting natural biological and social differences.

AI's Impact on Emotional Development and Dopamine Addiction

The hosts discuss how AI and digital stimulation may neurologically "rewire" young men, making it harder for them to engage in authentic two-way emotional interactions. Synthetic relationships provide constant dopamine hits without challenge or resistance, interfering with the development of resilience and real-world social skills. This neurological weaponization of technology raises urgent concerns about long-term mental health and social capacity.

Relationship Economics and Signals of Attractiveness

Galloway delves into the markers that influence female attraction in contemporary dating, highlighting that women often seek men who signal competence, responsibility, and kindness rather than purely physical attributes. Intellect, commonly expressed through humor, and consistent kindness serve as powerful attractors. Economic stability and future potential remain significant signals, underscoring the complex interplay between economic opportunity and romantic success.

Navigating Divorce and Post-Divorce Reality

The conversation addresses the myths surrounding divorce, especially for parents. Divorce does not end conflict or emotional labor, and often the challenges intensify, particularly with co-parenting logistics. Emotional availability decreases due to the structure of shared custody, making it harder for fathers to maintain spontaneous, casual bonding time with children, which is essential for relationship continuity.

The Role of Religion and Community

Although Galloway identifies as an atheist, he emphasizes the value of religious institutions and community gatherings in providing young people a sense of belonging and a connection to something larger than themselves. These communal frameworks can offer support and structure conducive to emotional and social development.

Patterns in Male Loneliness and Mental Health

Data showing men's higher suicide rates and loneliness, especially after divorce or social isolation, highlight the disproportionate toll loneliness takes on male mental health. Men derive significant benefits from relationships but often lack the skills or opportunities to build and sustain them, exacerbated by social and economic trends.

The Changing Landscape of Male Roles and Partnership Dynamics

The episode reflects on past and present male roles within families and relationships, acknowledging historical norms while recognizing contemporary demands for emotional involvement and partnership equity. It addresses societal pressures on men to embody strength, sensitivity, economic stability, and emotional intelligence simultaneously, highlighting the complexity of modern masculinity.

The Future Risks of Addiction and Digital Escape

Emerging dangers such as online gambling, prediction markets, and the addictiveness of porn are discussed as extensions of synthetic engagement with technology. These behaviors provide escapism but erode time and energy needed for authentic growth and relationships. The male brain's developmental trajectory can heighten susceptibility to these digital addictions, signaling another layer in the ongoing crisis of male wellbeing.