How to STOP Negative Thinking: Be Happier, Healthier & More At Peace

The Struggle with Change

Nguyen opens the conversation by addressing a common struggle many face: the desire for change juxtaposed with the fear of it. He shares his personal journey of trying various methods to improve his mental health, including therapy, meditation, and lifestyle changes, yet feeling stuck in a cycle of anxiety and dissatisfaction. This paradox of wanting to grow while simultaneously resisting change is a theme that resonates with many listeners. Nguyen emphasizes that external changes alone—such as altering relationships or environments—will not lead to lasting internal transformation. Instead, he argues that true change must come from within, specifically through a shift in one’s thinking and perception of experiences.

The Importance of Internal Change

Nguyen explains that life is filled with challenges, traumas, and difficulties that are inevitable. He stresses that if individuals focus solely on changing their external circumstances without addressing their internal frameworks, they will continue to feel inadequate and unfulfilled. The key to overcoming this cycle lies in changing one’s thought patterns. He recounts his own experience of feeling overwhelmed by anxiety until he realized that the root of his suffering was not the external events themselves but his thoughts about those events. This realization marked a turning point in his life, leading him to write his book, "Don't Believe Everything You Think."

Mental Health Awareness Month

As the conversation unfolds, Cohen and Nguyen acknowledge that May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to discuss mental health openly and reduce stigma. Nguyen highlights the importance of recognizing that many people struggle with mental health issues and that they are not alone in their battles. He encourages listeners to understand that their thoughts do not define them and that they can cultivate a sense of peace by letting go of negative judgments.

The Role of Thoughts vs. Thinking

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the distinction between thoughts and thinking. Nguyen explains that thoughts are neutral observations about the world, while thinking often involves negative judgments and stories we create around those thoughts. For example, if it rains on a day when one has planned an outdoor event, the thought is simply that it is raining. However, the thinking might spiral into negative self-talk, such as feeling unlucky or blaming oneself for poor planning. Nguyen emphasizes that recognizing this difference is crucial for mental well-being.

Practical Tools for Change

Nguyen introduces practical tools to help listeners manage their thoughts and reduce negative thinking. He discusses the concept of "non-thinking," which involves observing thoughts without judgment. This practice allows individuals to create space between themselves and their thoughts, leading to greater emotional regulation. He encourages listeners to engage in deep breathing exercises to calm their nervous systems, ask themselves whether their thinking is useful, and understand that they have the power to let go of negative judgments.

The Nature of Love and Relationships

The conversation also delves into the nature of love and relationships. Nguyen shares his personal experience of how he initially approached love through a checklist of qualities he admired in his partner. However, he realized that true love transcends these criteria and is more about unconditional acceptance. He contrasts his perspective with that of his partner, who expressed love without needing to justify it with specific reasons. This realization led him to understand that love should not be contingent on certain behaviors or traits, but rather an unconditional bond that exists regardless of circumstances.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Nguyen reflects on his journey of self-discovery and the challenges he faced while trying to help his parents alleviate their financial burdens. He recounts how his decision to leave college and pursue an uncertain path was met with resistance from his family. However, as he found success in his endeavors, their perspective shifted, and they began to support him wholeheartedly. This transformation illustrates the importance of following one’s intuition and the potential for growth that can arise from taking risks.

The Power of Intuition

Throughout the episode, Nguyen emphasizes the significance of intuition in decision-making. He argues that many of life’s most important choices stem from a place of intuition rather than fear-based thinking. He encourages listeners to trust their instincts and recognize that intuition often leads to positive outcomes, even when it defies conventional wisdom or societal expectations. By tapping into this intuitive sense, individuals can navigate life’s uncertainties with greater confidence and clarity.