They Took Our Daughter | Todd & Krista Kolstad

Added: Mar 5, 2024

Initial Response and Counseling

The Kolstads sat down with Jennifer to discuss her feelings and suggested she seek counseling to explore her gender identity further. They placed her in counseling with the director of the youth group at their church, who had counseling credentials. Despite some positive interactions during counseling, Jennifer later claimed that the counselor had put a gun to her head, which the Kolstads found to be a fabricated story.

Family Dynamics and School Environment

Jennifer is the youngest of five children, and her siblings were not heavily involved in her life due to age differences and other circumstances. The school Jennifer attended was not considered woke, and the Kolstads believed that most of Jennifer's exposure to gender ideology came from her online interactions, particularly on platforms like TikTok.

Online Behavior and Fantasy

Jennifer's struggles with popularity and bullying at school, combined with her creative and intelligent nature, made her susceptible to peer influence and online interactions. The Kolstads noted that Jennifer's desire to be accepted and her exposure to certain peer groups led her down a path of exploring a different identity online.

Jennifer engaged in posting fantastical stories online, including claims about having a twin brother who was killed by her birth mother. These stories were not sexually explicit but focused more on creating a false narrative to gain attention and sympathy from online communities, including individuals from the trans community who praised her for being brave.

The Kolstads observed that Jennifer received positive reinforcement from online communities that supported her gender identity exploration. These communities praised her for being brave and encouraged her to embrace her new identity, further fueling Jennifer's desire to be accepted and validated.

Challenges and Concerns

Despite the Kolstads' efforts to monitor Jennifer's online activities and provide support through counseling, they faced challenges in understanding the extent of her online interactions and the influence of peer groups. Her tendency to create fantastical stories and seek attention through online platforms raised concerns about her well-being and safety.

Despite these concerns, the Kolstads were initially confident that she would eventually reconcile her identity issues. That was until they noticed changes in her behavior, such as aggression, hair loss, and vision problems, which they later discovered were side effects of hormones she had been taking. Jennifer had also made false claims about taking ibuprofen and drinking toilet bowl cleaner in an attempt to end her life.

Involvement of Child Protective Services

The situation escalated when Jennifer texted another child expressing suicidal thoughts. The police were called, and Child Protective Services showed up at the Kolstads' house. Despite their cooperation, Child Protective Services insisted on speaking to Jennifer alone, during which she made false claims about attempting suicide. The Kolstads were taken aback by the sudden turn of events and were unsure of how to proceed.

Hospital Visit

The Kolstads took Jennifer to the hospital, where she continued to insist on being called Leo and claimed that her parents did not accept her. The hospital staff began referring to her as Leo, despite the Kolstads' request to use her birth name, Jennifer. The couple's efforts to maintain consistency and address Jennifer's behavior were met with resistance from the hospital staff, who sided with Jennifer. The hospital staff's refusal to respect their wishes and the increasing contempt towards them made it difficult for the couple to navigate the situation effectively. Despite their efforts to support Jennifer and address her issues, they felt marginalized and disregarded by the professionals involved.

Having Their Daughter Taken Away

The Kolstads share the experience of their daughter being taken away from them and placed in a group home after being diagnosed with gender dysphoria. They describe how Jennifer was placed in a hospital for psychiatric evaluation, where she was put on 24-hour supervision. They were alarmed by the behavior of the staff, who were pushing a non-binary agenda and discussing gender transition surgeries with their daughter. The couple remained calm despite the provocation, knowing that they were being baited into a confrontation.

After being told that Jennifer was next in line for a bed at a facility in Billings, Montana, the couple was shocked to receive a call stating that she was being sent to a facility in Wyoming instead. When they expressed their concerns about the sudden change, they were accused of being unwilling to provide medical care for their daughter. Within 10 minutes, Child Protective Services and the police arrived at their home to remove Jennifer from their care.

Jennifer was then transferred to Wyoming, where she was allowed to make stops to visit friends and her summer job before being taken to the facility. The couple was given the wrong contact information for her, making it difficult for them to reach her. After a month in Wyoming, Jennifer was brought back to Montana and placed in a group home run by Youth Dynamics, where she was socially transitioned and allowed to present as a boy.

Wanting to Come Home

Despite the social transition, the couple noticed that Jennifer still showed signs of missing them and wanting to come home. They were allowed to visit her at the group home, but were later told by Child Protective Services that they were not allowed to be alone with her. The couple suspected that the in-house counselor at the group home was contacting Child Protective Services and influencing decisions about Jennifer's care.

Dealing With Child Protective Services

The Kolstads share their harrowing experience with the Child Protective Services system in Montana. They recount how they were told to keep their heads down and play nice in order to regain custody of their daughter after she was placed in a group home program. However, they reached a breaking point when Child Protective Services wanted to place their daughter with her birth mother in Canada, who supported her transgender identity as a boy named Leo.

The couple decided to speak out by releasing a 17-minute video on YouTube and Facebook detailing their ordeal with the system. They were threatened with contempt of court if they did not take down the video, but they refused to stay silent. Despite facing legal consequences, they believe it is essential to make their story public to prevent other families from going through similar injustices.

Legal Battle and Contempt of Court Charges

The Kolstads are currently facing contempt of court charges for speaking out about their case and refusing to comply with Child Protective Services' demands. They have a court hearing scheduled, where they will be represented by a First Amendment attorney. Despite the risks, they are determined to fight for their rights and raise awareness about the flaws in the Child Protective Services system.

Lack of Mental Health Support

The couple expresses concerns about their daughter's well-being in Canada, where she is living with her birth mother as Leo. They worry about the lack of proper mental health support and medical care for their daughter's transgender identity. Additionally, their communication with their daughter has been blocked, further adding to their distress.

Public Response and Support

The Kolstads have received support from lawmakers and the press, who are advocating for transparency in their case. They are working with a First Amendment attorney to defend their right to free speech and challenge the restrictions imposed on them by the court. Despite facing backlash and false accusations, they remain steadfast in their fight for justice.

Reflections on the System and Future

The couple reflects on the flaws in the Child Protective Services system and the challenges they have faced as parents. They question the motives behind the system's actions and the lack of accountability for the harm caused to families. Despite the hardships, they are determined to continue speaking out and seeking justice for their daughter and other families affected by similar injustices.