The Motivation Expert: Why You're FAILING To Achieve Your Goals (& What To Do About It!)

Added: Jul 2, 2024

Overcoming Fear and Taking Action

Dial explains that many people struggle to focus on their goals due to fears, particularly intellectual fears that exist only in our minds. He distinguishes between primal fears (related to pain or death) and intellectual fears (like fear of rejection or failure). He argues that we can't overcome something that doesn't exist, so trying to conquer these intellectual fears is futile. Instead, he suggests becoming aware of our fears and shifting our focus to what we want to achieve.

Dial shares a personal example of overcoming fear when starting his podcast. He was afraid of putting himself out there but realized the fear of staying in the same unfulfilling job was more terrifying than the unknown path of pursuing his passion. This realization helped him commit fully to his new direction.

The Importance of Finding Your "Why"

Dial emphasizes the power of having a strong "why" behind your goals. He shares an anecdote about a coaching client who initially wanted to make $100,000 a year. Through deeper questioning, he discovered the client's true motivation was to regain custody of his children and provide them a safer living environment. Understanding this deeper "why" made the goal much more compelling and actionable.

Dial argues that if your "why" is strong enough, you'll figure out the "how." He distinguishes between motivation, which is fleeting, and being driven by a powerful purpose. Dial encourages people to keep asking themselves "why" to uncover their true motivations and connect with a deeper sense of purpose.

Procrastination and Taking Responsibility

Dial discusses how procrastination often stems from a lack of a compelling "why." He uses an extreme example to illustrate how people would take immediate action if the stakes were high enough. Dial emphasizes the importance of taking full responsibility for one's life, sharing a pivotal moment when his first mentor told him "everything is your fault." While initially challenging to hear, he found this mindset empowering as it put him in control of his life's direction.

Balancing Achievement and Spiritual Growth

Dial shares his journey of moving from a purely achievement-oriented mindset to one that incorporates spiritual growth. He explains that contrary to his initial fears, spiritual development hasn't diminished his drive to achieve. Instead, it has allowed him to pursue his goals from a place of greater peace and less attachment to outcomes.

Dial describes how he's learned to balance being "in the world" while also connecting to a deeper sense of self. He finds that taking time for silence and meditation helps him gain perspective on daily stresses and tap into creative insights. He emphasizes the importance of being present and giving full attention to loved ones, rather than being constantly distracted by technology.

Self-Awareness and Personal Growth

Dial discusses his approach to personal growth, which involves becoming aware of patterns, developing practices to change them, and repeating those practices consistently. He shares an example of working to overcome his tendency to judge others by consciously finding positive qualities in people he initially judged.

He emphasizes the value of self-awareness and giving oneself grace during the growth process. He encourages people to be curious about their thoughts and feelings rather than immediately trying to change them. He shares how he's learned to love and accept all aspects of himself, including traits he previously disliked, finding that this approach often leads to natural positive changes.

The Illusion of Control and Embracing Uncertainty

Dial and Shetty discuss the idea that much of what we believe about ourselves and our identities is constructed and can be changed. They reference the example of actor Jim Carrey's experience playing Andy Kaufman, which led Carrey to question his own identity. Dial encourages listeners to challenge their beliefs about who they are and be open to change.

The conversation touches on the balance between recognizing the significance of our actions while also understanding our relative insignificance in the grand scheme of the universe. Dial finds this perspective freeing, as it reduces pressure and allows him to approach life with more joy and playfulness.

Developing a Spiritual Practice

Dial shares how he's incorporated more silence and meditation into his life, finding that it helps him connect with his true self and gain valuable insights. He describes how sitting in silence can bring up uncomfortable emotions or anxiety initially, but with practice, it becomes a source of peace and clarity.

He emphasizes the importance of being present and giving full attention to loved ones. He recently deleted Instagram from his phone to reduce distractions and be more engaged in his daily life. He encourages listeners to consider what's truly important and make choices that align with their values and long-term fulfillment.

Lessons Learned and Personal Insights

Dial shares two significant lessons he's learned:

1. What we're searching for externally is often what we need to give ourselves internally. He realized that his pursuit of external validation and achievement was really a search for self-love and acceptance.

2. You can't do everything alone. He describes how he had to learn to trust others and ask for help, both in his personal life and in growing his business.

Dial also discusses how he's learned to work with different aspects of his personality, including traits he previously saw as negative. He gives an example of using his ego's desire for success to motivate him to create a better book, rather than trying to eliminate that part of himself.

Practical Advice for Personal Growth

Throughout the interview, Dial offers several practical suggestions for listeners:

1. When facing fear, try visualizing positive outcomes as well as potential challenges.

2. Practice self-awareness by noticing thought patterns and consciously choosing more helpful thoughts.

3. Take time for silence and meditation to gain clarity and tap into creativity.

4. Be fully present with loved ones by reducing technological distractions.

5. Ask yourself "why" multiple times to uncover deeper motivations.

6. Take responsibility for your life circumstances while having compassion for past experiences.

7. Find ways to engage all aspects of your personality in service of higher goals.

8. Practice telling yourself "I'm proud of you" regularly.

Final Thoughts and Rapid-Fire Questions

The interview concludes with a series of rapid-fire questions. Dial shares that the best advice he's received is "everything is your fault," emphasizing personal responsibility. The worst advice he's heard is to "fit in with everybody else." His most repeated thought recently is "I'm proud of you," which he tries to tell himself daily. The habit that has most changed his life is meditation and breathwork. Finally, if he could create one law for everyone to follow, it would be to take five minutes every day to practice self-awareness.

Dial's parting message emphasizes the transformative power of self-awareness. He believes that if everyone took time daily to reflect on their actions and their impact on others, many of the world's problems could be solved. This focus on self-awareness ties together many of the themes discussed throughout the interview, highlighting its importance in personal growth, overcoming fears, finding purpose, and creating positive change in the world.

Throughout the conversation, Rob Dial comes across as someone who has done significant inner work and is passionate about sharing his insights to help others. His approach combines practical goal-setting and achievement strategies with a deeper focus on spiritual growth and self-awareness. The interview provides listeners with both inspirational ideas and actionable steps for personal development, encouraging them to face their fears, uncover their true motivations, and connect with their authentic selves.