Mastering Sex, Power, Gender Roles, & The Secret to Maintaining Relationships That Last | Sadia Khan

Added: Aug 23, 2023

Khan argues that social media and the rise of the woke culture have destroyed femininity by replacing it with narcissism and labeling it as feminism. She believes that social media has accelerated the status of women more than men, allowing women to leverage their beauty in ways they couldn't before. This has created a division between men and women, making men disposable in the eyes of women. On the other hand, men have access to pornography and are exposed to images of beautiful women, leading them to desire these women without facing rejection. This access to a plethora of options has distanced the sexes from each other and hindered the formation of genuine connections. If Khan could control social media algorithms, she would want to promote values such as honesty, vulnerability, and authenticity in romantic relationships. She believes that people should focus on their true values rather than trying to protect themselves by idolizing money or sex. By prioritizing vulnerability and authenticity, individuals can find partners who align with their values, rather than feeding their egos. The purpose of a relationship, according to Khan, is to create a shared meaning and purpose. This can be achieved through starting a family, building a business, or having shared values. Relationships without a shared meaning and purpose tend to drift apart. Khan also highlights the problems with modern dating, which she believes is just training for divorce. The access to a large number of options and the lack of guidance on how to form genuine connections has made it difficult for people to navigate the dating world. Khan discusses the logic behind arranged marriages, stating that when two people come from similar backgrounds, they have a higher chance of success in a relationship. Arranged marriages allow parents to choose partners who share similar values, leading to a better understanding between the couple. Khan admits that she rebelled against the idea of arranged marriages in the past but now understands the logic behind them. She believes that if she had listened to her parents, she may have been able to make it work. The podcast delves into the role of religion and its impact on values and relationships. Khan explains that she naturally gravitated towards religion from a young age, finding solace and trust in God. She believes that religion provides a stable identity and allows individuals to navigate life with a set of values that remain consistent over time. In contrast, societal norms and values change rapidly, leading to a fragile identity. The discussion then shifts to the importance of limiting options in relationships. Khan clarifies that limiting options does not mean settling, but rather rejecting alternatives that do not align with one's values. By focusing on a single person and investing time and energy into that relationship, individuals can determine if the person is right for them. Diluting the experience by exploring multiple options can lead to chaos and prevent individuals from recognizing what is truly good or bad for them. Khan and the host, Tom Bilyeu, discuss the values that make relationships work. They both emphasize the importance of honesty, even when it is uncomfortable. Honesty allows couples to address issues and redirect their focus towards maintaining a strong connection. Other values mentioned include commitment, shared meaning and purpose, and rejecting alternatives that do not align with one's values. Khan defines success as how one feels about themselves when they are alone, rather than material possessions or multiple partners. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and constantly updating one's values to align with personal growth. The concept of submission in relationships is also discussed. Khan argues that submission is a natural consequence when one is with a partner who provides emotional and financial support. She advises men to be confident and true to themselves, willing to walk away if the relationship does not meet their needs. She also advises women to be with a man they can trust and submit to, as it allows them to relax and not have to make all the decisions. Khan acknowledges that her views on submission may be controversial and that women may face criticism for embracing traditional gender roles. However, she believes that women can still be independent and successful while finding areas in their lives where they can delegate decision-making to their partners. The topic of insecurities is also explored. Khan suggests recognizing when one is having a disproportionate reaction to an event and either soothing oneself or communicating with their partner about their insecurities. She emphasizes the importance of self-regulation and not allowing insecurities to control one's behavior. The podcast continues with a discussion on the backlash Khan receives from women who disagree with her views. She notes that women often attack her appearance or qualifications rather than engaging in a counter-argument. Despite the criticism, Khan stands by her beliefs and encourages women to find a partner they can submit to, someone who removes their fears and makes them feel beautiful. Sadia goes on to share a personal story about a past relationship and her decision not to have children. She expresses her fear of not being someone's number one priority if she were to be in a relationship with someone who already has children. She also discusses her own upbringing and the importance her mother placed on prioritizing her father. The conversation then shifts to the topic of gender roles and the dynamics between men and women. Sadia expresses her admiration for couples who have healthy relationships and believes that their children would be fortunate to have such parents. She emphasizes the importance of respect and compromise in relationships. The discussion then delves into the concept of feminism and its relevance in today's society. Sadia shares her skepticism towards the feminist movement, citing her personal experiences of witnessing women oppressing other women, particularly in the workplace. She questions the need for feminism, as she believes that women have never had it easier and that they possess certain privileges over men. The podcast also explores the idea of the gender pay gap and the challenges women face in the workforce. Sadia suggests that women's choices, such as opting for part-time roles after having children, may contribute to the pay gap. She argues that it is not necessarily a gender issue but rather a result of biological pressures and personal choices. The conversation then touches on the topic of evolutionary biology and its influence on human behavior. Sadia speculates on the reasons behind certain behaviors, such as women's attraction to men with resources and men's preference for physical attractiveness. She also discusses the potential impact of environmental factors, such as endocrine disruptors, on sexuality and gender identity. Towards the end of the podcast, Sadia reflects on the complexities of these issues and the need for a balanced perspective. She emphasizes the importance of celebrating the differences between men and women and working together as partners. She also acknowledges the challenges of navigating societal expectations and the need for open dialogue and understanding.