The Root of Your Anxiety and Stress | Dr. Julia DiGangi

Added: Dec 5, 2023

Dr. DiGangi introduces the concept of emotional pain, which she defines as the pain of self-division. She explains that emotional pain arises when there is a disconnect between our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. This self-division can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and a lack of vitality. She emphasizes the importance of integrating the different systems of the brain, including the thinking, behaving, and feeling systems, in order to live a more satisfying life.

The podcast delves into the idea of emotional avoidance, highlighting how many people try to avoid difficult conversations, interactions, and relationships in an effort to escape negative emotions. Dr. DiGangi challenges this approach, suggesting that the key to living a fulfilling life is to embrace and work through these emotions rather than avoiding them. She encourages listeners to recognize that every experience of emotional pain is an opportunity for growth and personal development.

One of the key points discussed in the podcast is the idea of picking a more powerful pain. Dr. DiGangi explains that instead of trying to avoid pain altogether, individuals should focus on choosing the pain that leads to empowerment and growth. She provides examples of how this concept can be applied in various situations, such as dealing with rejection in friendships and business interactions.

The podcast also touches on the importance of understanding and accepting emotional differences in relationships. Dr. DiGangi emphasizes that everyone operates based on their own inner scripts and emotional coding, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. She encourages listeners to take ownership of their emotional power and consider how they can contribute to the dynamics of their relationships.

Dr. DiGangi continues by explaining the concept of emotional contagion, which is the idea that emotions are contagious and can be transmitted from one person to another. She highlights the role of the nervous system in responding to emotional signals and how our own emotions can influence those around us. She challenges the common approach of trying to control the behavior of others to avoid certain feelings, and instead encourages individuals to focus on embodying the energy they seek in their relationships.

One of the key exercises Dr. DiGangi suggests is taking inventory of oneself and one's relationships. This involves paying attention to one's emotions and the behaviors they drive, as well as evaluating the ways in which one interacts with their partner. By doing so, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their emotional patterns and identify areas for improvement.

Dr. DiGangi also introduces the concept of "holding your emotional shake," which involves intentionally seeking uncertainty and discomfort. She explains that the brain's natural drive for certainty can lead to stress and anxiety, and by intentionally embracing uncertainty, individuals can build self-trust and resilience. This exercise challenges individuals to step out of their comfort zones and confront their fears, ultimately leading to personal growth and emotional empowerment.

The podcast also delves into the topic of worthiness and self-acceptance. Dr. DiGangi emphasizes that worthiness is inherent in the energy of life itself and is not dependent on external validation. She encourages individuals to let go of the need for external approval and instead focus on cultivating self-trust and confidence. By doing so, individuals can free themselves from the constant pursuit of validation and find inner peace and fulfillment.

Dr. DiGangi shares a powerful story of a combat veteran who struggled with PTSD and how he overcame his trauma by confronting it head-on. Instead of avoiding his triggers, he embraced them and engaged in a treatment that involved talking about his trauma in detail. This approach led to significant progress and a renewed sense of empowerment for the veteran.

The conversation then shifts to the idea of emotional constipation, a metaphor for the accumulation of unresolved emotional energy within the body. Dr. DiGangi explains that when we continuously suppress and avoid difficult emotions, it can lead to emotional congestion, impacting our ability to navigate life with clarity and resilience. She emphasizes that the key to unlocking emotional power lies in addressing and releasing these pent-up emotions.

One of the central themes of the episode is the concept of rest as a skill that requires practice and cultivation. Dr. DiGangi highlights the challenges many individuals face when attempting to rest, particularly in a culture that glorifies hustle and productivity. She shares examples of clients who initially struggled with the discomfort of rest, likening it to the sensation of shaking muscles during a challenging workout. By reframing rest as a valuable currency and acknowledging the need for practice, Dr. DiGangi encourages listeners to approach rest with patience and self-compassion.

The conversation also touches on the intersection of emotional energy and professional success. Dr. DiGangi addresses the pressure to constantly perform and achieve, particularly in high-stakes environments. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing the impact of emotional energy on our ability to lead and inspire others. By prioritizing emotional well-being and modeling healthy rest practices, individuals can cultivate a more sustainable and impactful approach to success.