Doomsday Cult Leader Breaks Silence on Most Evil Religion in History | Ray Connolly

This extensive interview with Ray Connolly explores his two-decade involvement in the Children of God cult from 1970 to the early 1990s, his experiences around cult indoctrination, leadership, family life, and the eventual breaking away from the group. The conversation also delves into disturbing revelations about the cult's dark practices, child abuse, the cult's founder David Berg, and the wider religious and sociopolitical contexts surrounding cults, spirituality, and psychedelic experiences.

Early Involvement and Initial Encounter

Ray Connolly describes joining the Children of God as a young man in 1970, driven by a deep spiritual quest amid the turbulent sociopolitical backdrop of the late 60s and early 70s. Raised Catholic but unfamiliar with evangelical concepts, he was drawn to a group evangelizing at a Jerry Rubin rally in Santa Barbara. He recounts how the fervent, Bible-quoting members attracted him with a radical, communal lifestyle centered on forsaking all possessions and following a literal interpretation of the Bible. The early days involved intense Bible study, memorization, and evangelism, but Connolly quickly became subject to the high-pressure "second floor purge," a process of total surrender and communal living.

The Children of God Cult Structure and Practices

Connolly explains the cult's strict communal living, regimented routines, and extreme control over members' lives. Members relied solely on "faith" for provision, pooling all finances and assets, while evangelizing relentlessly on the streets. Newcomers were constantly evaluated, supervised two-by-two in evangelism pairs, and subjected to a mix of praise and harsh warnings to maintain commitment. The group's founder David Berg was a controlling and enigmatic figure who evolved the cult's theology over time, introducing increasingly sexualized doctrines.

David Berg's Background and Influence

The story of David Berg, the founder, is unpacked with attention to his troubled upbringing marked by severe parental control, early trauma, and repressive sexual conditioning. Berg's later life showed narcissistic tendencies, erratic leadership, and escalating sexual abuse, including documented incest with one of his daughters before the cult officially formed. Berg's charisma and authoritarian approach shaped the cult's direction, especially as it transitioned into darker and more abusive practices. His adoption of messianic titles like "Moses" cemented his role as the unquestioned spiritual leader.

The Gradual Shift Toward Sexual Liberation and Abuse

According to Connolly, the early cult was sexually repressive compared to what it later became. Over years, Berg introduced increasingly permissive sexual practices, culminating in the notorious "Flirty Fishing" campaign, where female members used sex as a tool to recruit new followers, backed by manuals and instructional comics. Connolly stresses that this development unfolded slowly over six or seven years and marked a significant moral and ethical decline within the group.

Arranged Marriages and Leadership Roles

A critical turning point for Connolly was being groomed for leadership, which required marriage, often arranged or pressured, with little personal choice involved. He recounts his unusual betrothal and marriage process, including the severe restrictions on intimacy before marriage and legal hurdles due to age. Despite marrying within the group, Connolly describes profound tensions with ideas of ownership, control, and the polygamous or multi-partner arrangements that developed later.

International Life and Family Dynamics

Living in up to 20 different countries while raising 17 children within the cult's communal framework was extraordinarily challenging. Connolly describes his kids performing as a musical group for prisons and hotels in Mexico and Cairo, effectively child labor masked as ministry. Basic homeschooling was provided, but education was minimal and practical work started early. His depiction paints a picture of a nomadic, unstable existence peppered with occasional moments of joy but dominated by survival and indoctrination.

Awareness and Confrontation with Abuse

Connolly reveals widespread knowledge of child sexual abuse within the cult, openly published in internal materials and practiced by some leaders, including Bergaides and his inner circle. While he personally did not engage in abuse, he acknowledges the pervasive presence of pedophilia, the distribution of explicit material protected within members' circles, and the use of disturbing justifications based on twisted biblical interpretations. This knowledge contributed heavily to his eventual disillusionment.

Crisis and Departure from the Cult

The disintegration of Connolly's faith in the cult leadership culminated in his public criticism and removal from leadership. This ostracism was deeply painful, compounded by fears of losing his family and the entire lifestyle he had known. For years afterward he maintained a precarious relationship with his estranged wife and children, who remained inside the group. The cult's paranoia grew, restrictions tightened, and leaving became increasingly difficult due to psychological and logistical barriers.

Aftermath and Family Challenges

Post-cult life involved severe familial fragmentation, trauma, and slow healing. Connolly candidly discusses the struggles of his children, some of whom stayed behind, others who left and suffered psychiatric issues, including substance abuse and tragic fatalities among his family members. He recounts painful moments like the death of a beloved daughter and the ongoing mental health crises of others, emphasizing the long-lasting cost of cult involvement on second-generation members.

The Ricky Rodriguez Tragedy

The interview touches on the heartbreaking story of Ricky Rodriguez, a notorious second-generation cult member who endured horrific abuse from infancy, was groomed as an heir to Berg's legacy, left the group, but ultimately committed murder and suicide. Connolly, who knew him as a child, reflects on the extreme psychological damage and societal failure that culminated in such a tragedy, underscoring how the cult's impact reverberates beyond its official demise.

The Cult's Evasion of Law Enforcement

Although the group faced serious legal challenges and child custody battles in countries like Australia, France, and Argentina, efforts to dismantle it were thwarted by cult members' trained deceptions and constant geographic relocation. Berg's early move overseas was strategic to avoid FBI scrutiny, and the group's tactics to evade authority involved secrecy, misinformation, and rebranding under new names and fronts.

Faith, Spirituality, and Personal Beliefs

Despite everything, Connolly remains a committed Christian, reflecting deeply on the nature of faith, God, and spirituality beyond institutional religion. He discusses how his early dramatic spiritual experience persisted through his cult years and beyond, helping him reconcile with the incongruities of his past and the presence of love and grace amid darkness. He embraces a broad, ecumenical understanding of the divine and recognizes the spiritual wisdom across many religious traditions.

Psychedelics and Spiritual Experience

The conversation explores the role of psychedelics in shaping spiritual awakening, both personally for Connolly and historically within broader religious contexts. He links his own conversion experience to prior LSD usage and engages with current academic discourse on psychedelics, spirituality, and religion. He references research involving religious leaders who have undergone psychedelic experiences, discussing their impact on faith and consciousness, and touches on how psychedelics might inform future revisions of religious understanding.

Cult Dynamics and Psychological Manipulation

Connolly shares insight into how brainwashing and cult control mechanisms function, comparing them to famous psychological experiments like the Stanford Prison study and Milgram's obedience shock experiment. He highlights how everyday life can have varying degrees of manipulation and how cult indoctrination operates on a continuum, not as an isolated fringe pathology. His education at Meadow Haven and interaction with cult experts helped him understand trauma, recovery, and the dynamics of coercive influence.

The Broader Cultural and Religious Landscape

The interview situates the cult experience within the larger framework of the Jesus movement, evangelicalism, and modern religious politics. Connolly recounts how the Children of God arose as an extreme offshoot of the Jesus movement, leading to some of today's evangelical political powerhouse movements. He analyzes the rise of religious conservatism in American politics, the blending of televangelism and statism, and imbalanced Christian nationalism, contrasting it with Jesus's original teachings about love and compassion.

Deconstruction and Changing Religious Identity

Connolly discusses the contemporary trend wherein younger generations who grow up in strict evangelical contexts begin to question and dismantle their inherited beliefs, leading to spiritual deconstruction. He contrasts two competing Christianities: one highly politicized and exclusive, the other inclusive and socially aware. This process reflects the broader dissonance within modern religious communities grappling with sexuality, morality, and evolving social values.

Post-Cult Life and Ongoing Mission

Despite the profound pain and difficulty, Connolly continues to engage in raising awareness, counseling, and educating others about the torment of cult involvement. Though he stepped back from active promotion of his book for years, the recent public interest spurred by podcasts and documentaries has rekindled his resolve to share his story. He underscores the importance of forgiveness, healing, and mutual understanding in overcoming the legacy of cult abuse.

Interpersonal Relationships and Lasting Bonds

Throughout the interview, Connolly emphasizes the resilience of family bonds despite the cult's fracturing forces. He shares how communication, love, and support among his children and ex-members have allowed many to rebuild their lives. His enduring marriage of 54 years and ongoing interactions with his children illustrate the human capacity to heal and find connection after trauma.

The Role of Education and Awareness in Healing

Connolly credits his eventual recovery to cult education, trauma understanding, and psychological insights gained from counseling centers like Meadow Haven. He stresses the need for society to grasp the subtle, sometimes insidious ways that control and abuse manifest beyond just cults. Awareness and education empower ex-members and their families to reconstruct their identities and regain agency over their lives.

Reflections on God, Love, and Human Experience

In closing, Connolly conveys a grounded, inclusive spirituality that honors doubt, struggle, and growth. He rejects rigid dogmatism and institutional judgment, emphasizing instead a lived faith that centers on love, empathy, and daily embodiment of divine principles. For him, God is a presence experienced in moments of connection and grace, transcending cultural and religious boundaries.