How the Internet Ruins Young People - Freya India

In this podcast episode, Freya India discusses the profound impact of social media and internet culture on young people, particularly adolescent girls. She explores themes of commodification, mental health, relationships, technology's influence, and societal shifts that have reshaped how young generations grow up, form their identities, and interact with the world. The conversation touches on marketing tactics exploiting vulnerabilities, the role of therapy and mental health industries, changing dating dynamics, and the consequences of living lives constantly on display online.

Commodification of Young Women

Freya India emphasizes that unlike previous generations of women who were relentlessly sold products, today's young women themselves have become the product. From as early as age twelve, girls are conditioned to market and package themselves online, constantly performing and managing their self-worth based on likes, comments, and followers. Growing up is entwined with commodifying every experience—posting selfies, curating personal brands, and being ranked and reviewed publicly. This phenomenon extends beyond consumer culture to intimate parts of life being subjected to public scrutiny and monetization, such as relationships and even family moments.

Fear-Based Consumer Culture and Social Media Algorithms

The conversation highlights how consumer culture is deeply rooted in fear, exploiting insecurities to drive consumption. Social media platforms amplify this by tracking users' language and emotions, quickly identifying vulnerability and then targeting ads accordingly. For young girls, particularly during vulnerable developmental stages, this leads to rapid escalation of insecurities, as they are served content that intensifies feelings of worthlessness or anxiety. The algorithmic feedback loops encourage obsession with outward appearance and social validation, making it difficult for adolescents to develop a healthy sense of self.

Vulnerability of Adolescents and Reputation Damage

Freya discusses how adolescence is a unique period marked by acute awareness of reputation and social ranking. For girls undergoing puberty, social media exposes them to constant feedback about their bodies, actions, and social standing. Unlike past generations, today's youths deal with digital permanence—hurtful comments, bullying, or humiliations online remain visible and inescapable. This persistent public recording can exacerbate anxiety, rumination, and mental health issues. Indirect aggression and reputation destruction have migrated from playgrounds to social platforms where it's often magnified and perpetuated by algorithms.

Social Distancing, Pandemic, and Online Substitutes

The pandemic accelerated pre-existing trends of social distancing among teenagers. Online communities, therapy, pornography, education, and delivery services form simulacra that replace real human interaction. Freya reflects on how young people learn to avoid direct human contact during formative years, increasing dependence on these substitutes. This convenience, while alleviating some pressures, deepens isolation and the loss of natural social skills. The pandemic intensified these dynamics, further entrenching a culture of comfort-seeking and avoidance of discomfort.

The Impact on Dating and Relationships

Dating culture among young people has been reshaped by risk aversion fueled by social media and the internet. Young women are often scared or contemptuous of men, bombarded with advice that emphasizes independence, boundary-setting, and caution. On platforms like TikTok and Reddit, relationship advice often leans toward identifying "red flags" and breakup encouragement, rarely promoting compromise or vulnerability. This environment fosters fear and hesitance, distorting young people's expectations of relationships and leading to delays in forming intimate bonds. The prevalence of explicit pornography also affects perceptions, normalizing objectification and impeding the development of healthy connections.

Infantilization Contrasted with Adult Expectations

Freya points out a paradox: young people today are simultaneously infantilized and forced to grow up quickly. They face adult expectations to have fully formed political opinions and emotional insights while being shielded from traditional forms of guidance. Parents and educational systems have often stepped back from providing concrete advice, leaving gaps filled by corporations, influencers, and algorithms. This dissonance creates conflicting pressures where adolescents must navigate complex social realities without adequate support or resilience.

Therapy, Mental Health Industry, and Overdiagnosis

The therapy and mental health industries have become major forces in young people's lives, sometimes exacerbating problems. Freya discusses the rise of digital therapy platforms marketed as parental substitutes, encouraging reliance on professional intervention while discouraging family closeness. Mental health awareness has expanded to the point where normal human emotions and behaviors are pathologized. The broad application of diagnoses like ADHD or autism to typical childhood traits risks diluting support for those who genuinely need it. Young people frequently internalize a sick role, becoming overly introspective and risk-averse due to the overmedicalization of natural struggles.

Social Media Incentives and Influence on Behavior

Content creators and influencers depend on capturing and maintaining attention, often through sensational, fear-based, or provocative material. This creates incentives to magnify problems rather than solve them, keeping audiences anxious and engaged. The commodification of private lives and relationships is common, with family vloggers and couple influencers exploiting personal drama for views and income. The performative nature of online life pressures young people to maintain coherent "characters" to satisfy audiences, further blurring boundaries between authentic self and commodified persona.

Pornography's Societal Impact

Pornography's prevalence affects societal attitudes toward sex and relationships, especially for young people exposed at early ages. It normalizes seeing sexual partners as objects and distorts understanding of intimacy and consent. The discussion touches on disturbing aspects of mainstream porn platforms hosting non-consensual and underage content, which likely influences societal views and individual behaviors. This contributes to fear and mistrust in dating dynamics, hindering the potential for healthy relationships.

Parental Responsibility and Agency

Despite the overwhelming influence of technology and social media, Freya stresses that parents still have responsibility and agency. They can shape their children's experiences by setting boundaries and guiding their consumption of online content. The internet offers abundant positive resources as well, and by engaging thoughtfully, parents can mitigate some risks. She critiques the abdication of parental and adult authority, which leaves young people vulnerable to corporate influence and online misinformation.

Cultural Shifts and Lost Context for Young People

Younger generations have lost many societal structures and forms of support that predecessors took for granted, such as stable communities and direct adult guidance. Instead, they navigate through simulations and fragmented online substitutes, often unaware of what authentic social life entails. This creates a feedback loop where the simulation becomes the reality, limiting young people's ability to develop genuine community connections and social skills.

Self-Diagnosis, Language of Mental Health, and Risk Aversion

Freya observes that young people's extensive use of therapy language can erode nuanced understanding of personality and mental health. Traits once seen as quirks or character traits become medicalized, leading to heightened anxiety about normal human imperfections. The proliferation of diagnostic labels undermines resilience and encourages a mindset focused on avoiding discomfort. This diagnosis trend fuels risk-aversion, particularly in interpersonal and emotional domains.

The Role of Algorithms and Social Media Dynamics

Algorithms prioritize content that evokes strong emotions such as rage, fear, or outrage because such emotions drive engagement. This dynamic draws young people into cycles of negativity and polarization, complicating their perceptions of the world and relationships. The attention economy incentivizes creators to produce content that hooks viewers emotionally, often at the expense of truth or helpfulness.

The Complexity of Navigating Identity Online

Adolescents are forced to self-brand and define themselves publicly at an age when identities should still be fluid. The permanence of digital records and public judgment constrains natural exploration and change. Cancel culture exacerbates this by holding young people accountable for past opinions or behaviors, denying the freedom to evolve. This pressure to maintain a consistent online persona conflicts with normal adolescent development, contributing to stress and confusion.

Positive Developments and Growing Awareness

Despite the challenges, Freya notes some positive shifts, such as the public backlash against Instagram for children and increased awareness about the risks of oversharing. There is a growing cultural recognition of the downsides of social media exposure and a slight move towards forgiveness regarding youthful mistakes online. These conversations empower young people to question the status quo and seek alternatives to the constant commodification of self.

The Mental Health Industry as an Industry

As a critical point, Freya cautions that the mental health sector itself operates as an industry, with financial and commercial interests that may not always align with the best interests of young people. She warns of potential regret over medicalizing and diagnosing distress caused in part by societal and technological factors, suggesting a need for greater skepticism and protective approaches toward youth.

Human Connection and Dependence

Throughout the conversation, a recurring theme is the essential human need for connection and interdependence. Freya challenges cultural narratives that valorize extreme independence and self-sufficiency, especially for young women. She argues that vulnerability, dependence, and imperfection are natural and necessary, and denying these needs can deepen loneliness and dysfunction. Building genuine relationships involves embracing messiness and uncertainty rather than avoiding risk.

Parenting in the Digital Age

Freya underscores that parenting today entails navigating unprecedented digital challenges, but also interpreting available information judiciously. Parents must balance protection with granting freedom, while actively offering guidance and discussing real-world values. She encourages parents to reclaim authority and teach children discernment amid the noise of online content and conflicting cultural messages.

The Weight of Public Attention and Privacy

The pressure to perform and present oneself for public consumption alters how young people live their lives. This extends to intimate moments like proposals, family life, and friendships becoming "content" subject to audience expectations. Freya advises caution in commodifying private life to retain a space of authentic human experience beyond market forces and public judgment.

The Importance of Truth Over Comfort

Freya echoes the sentiment that offering young people comforting falsehoods may appease temporarily but ultimately undermines their development and resilience. Honest conversations about difficulties, failures, and imperfections provide a stronger foundation for growth than the consumption of endlessly affirming but shallow online advice.

The Future and Generational Hope

Finally, there is cautious optimism that ongoing conversations and increased awareness will spur change. Freya hopes that the collective "wounding" of her generation will inform better practices for raising children in the future and that a movement toward authenticity, community, and accountability can emerge from the current tumult.