We’ve Raised The Most Unhappy Men In History (Here’s How To Fix It) | Scott Galloway

Men today face unprecedented challenges. Statistically, they are four times more likely to die by suicide, three times more likely to suffer from addiction or homelessness, and 12 times more likely to be incarcerated. These stark realities highlight a crisis where many men feel untethered, lacking a clear role or purpose within society. Traditional roles as providers and procreators have eroded due to changing economic and social landscapes. Men's pathways to middle-class stability and vocational opportunities have narrowed considerably, leaving many without the clear codes or communities that once guided them.

Economic and Social Shifts

The economic prosperity in the post-World War II era was heavily skewed towards white, heterosexual men, whose advantages were structurally embedded through access to wealth and education. Today's younger generations do not inherit these same advantages. The majority of men face reduced economic opportunities and declining social support systems. Increasing numbers of women now outpace men in education, earning potential, and political representation, which is laudable but contributes to confusion among men about their societal roles. The middle-class on-ramps, like vocational programs and traditional "blue-collar" pathways, have diminished, replaced largely by an economy favoring tech entrepreneurs or highly educated professionals—positions many men neither aim for nor access.

Declining Male Engagement and Isolation

Men are increasingly disengaged from institutions like religious groups, sports, and workplaces. The rise of remote work has worsened social isolation for younger men, depriving them of critical mentorship and interpersonal skills development. Romantic and social relationships, which are especially beneficial to men's longevity and well-being, are also diminishing. One in three relationships begin at work, yet with fewer men regularly in workplaces, fewer meaningful connections form. This increasing isolation leads many men to retreat into digital worlds filled with gaming, pornography, conspiracy theories, and addictive behaviors, further severing them from real-world social bonds.

Economic and Romantic Viability

Men are still disproportionately evaluated as romantic partners based on economic viability. Despite women's rising success and income, men's ability to be providers remains a significant factor in relationship dynamics. The loss of traditional roles and economic pressure leaves some men feeling disenfranchised and less attractive to prospective partners. The data shows when women earn more than their male partners, risks for divorce and related issues increase, often linked to men's self-esteem challenges around providing. Relationships require men to not only be economically viable but also contribute emotionally and domestically, yet many struggle to meet these expectations.

The Impact of Technology and Big Tech

Modern technology, particularly social media and AI-driven platforms, is a formidable force in shaping the lives of young men—often to their detriment. Algorithms monetize engagement by keeping users glued to screens, drawing them away from face-to-face human connection and communal experiences. This phenomenon disproportionately harms young men, whose neurological development and executive function make them more susceptible to digital addiction. Such digital entrapment threatens to produce a generation of "asocial asexual males," increasingly detached from their communities and romantic relationships.

The Importance of Male Mentorship and Community

The loss of male role models is critical. Boys who lose positive male mentorship—whether fathers, family members, or community figures—are at higher risk of incarceration and social failure. Unlike girls, boys are neurologically and emotionally more vulnerable and require intentional guidance and support. However, men today are less likely to serve as mentors or Big Brothers, partly due to societal taboos and fears around misperceptions of male involvement with youth. Positive male mentorship requires no special skills beyond presence, genuine care, and sharing life lessons. Investing in and restoring this mentorship culture is vital for reversing young men's decline.

Redefining Manhood through Surplus Value

Men's transition into manhood should be measured by their generation of surplus value—not just economic, but emotional and social. A "man" is one who produces more economic and emotional value than he consumes, who cares for others, supports family, and contributes positively to community and society. This idea rejects age or biological milestones as definitions, focusing instead on responsibility, generosity, and leadership within relationships. Encouraging young men to embrace this code provides a roadmap for maturity beyond traditional stereotypes.

The Role of Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships provide profound benefits to men's well-being and lifespan. Men tend to derive more advantage from being in committed relationships than women do, including reduced substance abuse and improved mental health. Yet many men shy away from dating due to fear of rejection, mixed societal messages, and reduced social skills. Women on average are choosier, often seeking not just economic viability but kindness, humor, and intellect. Encouraging men to engage in relationships requires building resilience to rejection and redefining "approach" behaviors in respectful, thoughtful ways.

Changing Gender Dynamics in Relationships

As women ascend economically, the traditional balance in relationships shifts. The proportion of households where women are the primary breadwinner is increasing, but research shows challenges arise when men no longer feel like providers. This can lead to rising divorce rates and dysfunction if men fail to contribute in other crucial ways—emotionally, domestically, and socially. Relationships evolve from rigid provider-protector roles to partnerships where contribution, kindness, and mutual support define success. Society must adapt by teaching men new skills to meet these changing expectations.

The Necessity of Kindness and Emotional Intelligence

While economic and physical strength remain important, kindness and emotional generosity are critical yet underappreciated traits in men. Women often prioritize kindness in partners because it signals protection and emotional safety crucial for vulnerability. Kindness is also a learned practice, beginning with simple manners and expanding to regular acts of generosity without expectation. Cultivating emotional intelligence and kindness is essential for men to develop healthier relationships and communities.

Men and Mental Health: Addressing Isolation and Trauma

Many men carry unresolved traumas and wounds, including sexual abuse, family dysfunction, and loss of father figures. Unlike women, men have fewer avenues to express vulnerability and share their struggles openly. This lack of emotional processing leads to destructive behaviors and mental health crises. Healing requires access to supportive relationships, coaching, and cultural acceptance of male vulnerability. Public dialogue has progressed but still often stigmatizes male emotional needs, which must be addressed to reduce the risk of violence and self-harm.

Societal Responsibility and Fiscal Policy

Addressing men's challenges is a broader societal task involving fiscal policy to reduce intergenerational wealth transfer from young to old and expand opportunities for all young people. The largest economic transfers favor older generations who control most wealth, skewing opportunity distribution. Inclusive policies raising minimum wage, improving education access including apprenticeships, and supporting vocational programs can help restore hope and economic viability. This approach is not about specifically favoring men but lifting up every struggling youth, with recognition that men are disproportionately affected.

The Alliance Between Men and Women

The healthiest relationships and societies arise from an alliance between masculine and feminine energies. Misunderstandings and blame between genders harm progress. Women's rise has historically benefited men and society overall. Recognizing interdependence and mutual support rather than competition alleviates societal tensions. Women do not owe men their support, nor do men owe women servitude; both must rise in empathy and active participation. The path forward requires men to respect women and women to acknowledge men's struggles compassionately.

Lessons from Personal Experience and Growth

Scott Galloway reflects candidly on his relationship with his father and how unresolved resentments gradually transformed through forgiveness and intentional effort to be the person he aspires to be. Despite a tumultuous childhood, Galloway found mentors who added value to his life and gave him confidence and practical skills, such as investing in stocks at a young age. He emphasizes the importance of treating mothers and women well as a foundational lesson for boys. His journey underscores how evolving beyond past trauma into generosity, patriotism, and fatherhood shapes a fulfilling manhood.

The Call to Young Men

Galloway's core message to young men is a plea to resist digital isolation and actively engage in real-world relationships and experiences. He encourages taking risks, facing rejection, pursuing friendships and romance, and investing effort into becoming generative contributors to society. The urgent need is to counterbalance the powerful forces keeping men secluded and passive. Only through authentic connection and perseverance can young men reclaim purpose and wellbeing.

Final Reflections on Legacy and Greatness

Galloway's vision of greatness centers on generosity—leaving the world having given more love, support, and value than one has taken. He aspires to be remembered as a generous, patriotic person and devoted father, reflecting the importance of belonging, contribution, and legacy beyond material success. This vision serves as an aspirational framework for men seeking meaning and impact in an increasingly complex world.