“This Led to My Divorce” How Toxic Masculinity is Destroying This Generation! | Scott Galloway

Added: Jul 4, 2024

Wealth Disparity Between Young and Old

Galloway cites some alarming statistics: the average 70-year-old is 72% wealthier than they were 40 years ago, while the average person under 40 is 24% less wealthy. When Galloway was 25, he was making about $80,000 in inflation-adjusted terms, while young people today are making around $55,000. Minimum wage, which he sees as a proxy for how society values youth labor, has stagnated at $7.25 despite skyrocketing stock markets.

He argues that policies like Social Security transfer $1.5 trillion annually from young to old, despite seniors being the wealthiest cohort in history. The COVID-19 response was another example of intergenerational theft in Galloway's view - the massive stimulus primarily benefited asset owners (mostly older and wealthier individuals) by inflating stock and housing prices, while saddling younger generations with the debt.

The result is that for the first time in American history, 30-year-olds are not doing as well financially as their parents were at the same age. This creates rage and shame among young people, who feel left out of the prosperity they see around them. Galloway believes this contributes to a youth culture that is more anxious, depressed, obese, addicted and generally unhappy than ever before.

The Algebra of Wealth

Galloway's book "The Algebra of Wealth" outlines what he sees as a simple formula for financial security. He argues that across groups of friends who make similar incomes, there are usually stark differences in wealth accumulation over time. The book examines the behaviors and strategies of those who end up financially secure despite not necessarily having higher incomes.

The formula has several key components

Focus: Rather than following one's passion, Galloway advises young people to find their talent - something they could potentially master in an industry with high employment rates. He believes passion often follows once you develop expertise and start reaping the rewards.

Stoicism/Discipline: Recognizing that real rewards come from things other than material items. Developing a "savings muscle" by living below one's means, especially when young.

Time: Appreciating how quickly time passes and taking advantage of compound growth over decades. Galloway notes that the S&P 500 has returned about 11% annually since 2008, meaning investments double roughly every 7 years.

Diversification: Recognizing that 49% of success and failure is outside one's control. Galloway learned this lesson the hard way by going "all in" on his own company stock, only to see his net worth evaporate in the 2008 financial crisis.

Galloway emphasizes that wealth accumulation is a "full person project." He believes bringing love and forgiveness to personal and professional relationships is crucial, as divorce and business partnership breakups can be financially devastating. He advises young people to have honest conversations with potential partners about financial expectations and goals.

The Challenges Facing Young Men

Galloway expresses particular concern about the struggles facing young men today. He notes that men are four times more likely to commit suicide, half as likely to attend college, three times more likely to be addicted, and 12 times more likely to be incarcerated compared to women.

He argues several factors contribute to these issues

Biological differences: Boys' prefrontal cortexes mature 18-24 months later than girls', putting them at a disadvantage in school settings that reward organization and sitting still.

Lack of male role models: With high rates of single motherhood and few male teachers, many boys grow up with little contact with positive male figures.

Education system: Schools tend to be structured in ways that favor girls' strengths and development patterns.

Emotional/mental fragility: While physically stronger, Galloway argues boys tend to be more emotionally and mentally vulnerable than girls. Losing a male role model has a much more detrimental effect on boys.

Societal attitudes: There's often a reluctance to acknowledge or address young men's struggles due to historical male privilege.

Galloway believes society needs to find ways to produce more "economically and emotionally viable" young men. He worries that if we don't, we'll see declining rates of household formation, as women generally aren't interested in partnering with men who aren't at least at their socioeconomic level.

Personal Growth and Healing

The conversation takes a personal turn as Howes shares his own struggles growing up, including sexual abuse as a child, learning difficulties in school, and losing his father to a debilitating accident at age 21. He credits two main factors in helping him overcome these obstacles

1. Seeking out male mentors and coaches, particularly through sports. These provided structure, goals, positive reinforcement, and tough love when needed.

2. Allowing himself to heal through therapy and emotional coaching. This helped him transform anger and frustration into more peaceful, forgiving energy.

Howes emphasizes the importance of continual personal growth and healing. He notes that while his drive for success initially came from a place of anger and a desire to prove people wrong, he eventually realized that external achievements alone weren't bringing him peace or self-respect.

Galloway expresses admiration for Howes's self-awareness and willingness to seek help, noting that men of his own generation rarely had such conversations or acknowledged emotional struggles. He sees hope in younger men being more open to addressing mental health and personal development.

Advice for Young People

Galloway offers several pieces of advice for young people seeking financial security and personal fulfillment:

Develop physical fitness habits early, as health becomes harder to maintain with age.

Recognize the finite nature of life, which can provide both motivation and perspective.

Don't keep score in relationships. Instead, decide what kind of person you want to be and live up to that ideal regardless of how others treat you.

Be willing to make short-term sacrifices for long-term gain, particularly when it comes to saving and investing.

Seek out "rich, high-character friends" who can provide positive influence and opportunities.

Have honest conversations about money and financial goals with potential long-term partners.

Recognize that happiness rarely comes from material possessions.

Take advantage of compound growth by investing consistently from a young age.

The Importance of Male Mentorship

Both Galloway and Howes emphasize the crucial role that positive male mentorship can play in young men's lives. Galloway argues that the "ultimate expression of masculinity" is for a man to get involved in the life of a child who isn't his own, particularly given the shortage of male role models for many boys.

He acknowledges that there can be suspicion around men wanting to mentor boys due to high-profile abuse scandals. However, he believes the vast majority of men have genuine paternal and fraternal love to offer. Galloway encourages men to find ways to mentor and support young boys, seeing it as a way to address the struggles many young men face.

Howes shares how influential sports coaches and older male mentors were in his own development, providing guidance and support when his father was no longer able to do so. He suggests that this kind of mentorship gave him structure and positive male energy that was otherwise lacking in his life.

Redefining Masculinity

The conversation touches on the need to redefine healthy masculinity in a way that allows for emotional vulnerability while still emphasizing positive traits like responsibility, protection, and provision. Galloway notes that many young men lack a clear understanding of what it means to be a good man in today's society.

He outlines his view of positive masculinity as including:

Taking care of one's responsibilities

Being emotionally and financially "together"

Having a plan for the future

Demonstrating kindness

Providing surplus value to others

Protecting and providing for family

Contributing to one's community

Both men agree that there's a need for more nuanced, productive conversations about masculinity that avoid both toxic stereotypes and the complete rejection of masculine virtues.

Conclusion

Galloway concludes by sharing his personal definition of greatness, encapsulated in three words he'd want on his tombstone: "generous, citizen, dad." He aspires to be someone who loved his country, was an excellent father regardless of circumstances, and demonstrated generosity throughout his life.

The conversation highlights the complex challenges facing young people, particularly men, in today's economic and social landscape. It emphasizes the importance of financial literacy, emotional intelligence, and positive mentorship in helping young people navigate these challenges and build fulfilling, successful lives. Both Galloway and Howes stress that personal growth is an ongoing journey, requiring self-reflection, willingness to seek help, and a commitment to living up to one's ideals regardless of external circumstances.