How the Wealthiest Families Teach Their Kids About Money! Do This to Unlock Abundance! Scott Donnell

Added: Jun 10, 2024

In this podcast episode, Scott Donnell discusses the importance of teaching children to create value first, rather than focusing solely on money. He emphasizes the concept of Heritage over inheritance, which involves passing down family values and mindsets to future generations. Donnell draws from his research on over 100 high net worth families to highlight the common strategies they use to maintain financial peace and strong family relationships.

Value Creation and Money Mindset

Donnell stresses the significance of understanding the true nature of money. He explains that money is neither inherently good nor bad but rather a tool that amplifies one's existing traits. By teaching children to prioritize value creation over money, parents can instill a healthy mindset around finances. He introduces the concept of the home economy system, which involves assigning children tasks or "gigs" that allow them to earn money by creating value in various ways.

Impact of Money Trauma

The discussion delves into the impact of money trauma on families. Donnell explains how financial conflicts between parents can lead to negative associations with money for children. He highlights the importance of open communication about finances within families to prevent misunderstandings and resentment. By involving children in discussions about investments, donations, and expenses, parents can help them develop a positive relationship with money.

Reprogramming Money Psychology

To reprogram their mindset around money, Donnell suggests starting with the core values of the family. By identifying and articulating these values, parents can create a foundation for teaching children about financial responsibility and value creation. He encourages families to participate in workshops and programs that focus on legacy building and passing down positive money habits to future generations.

Strategies for Legacy Building

Donnell outlines six key strategies for building a lasting legacy within a family. These strategies include focusing on value creation, implementing the home economy system, prioritizing Heritage over inheritance, defining family values, and utilizing setbacks as opportunities for growth. By following these strategies, families can work towards creating a legacy that emphasizes strong relationships, financial competency, and a sense of purpose.

Value Creation and Home Economy

Donnell emphasizes the importance of instilling a sense of value creation in children from a young age. He discusses the concept of setting up a home economy, where children are given opportunities to earn money through tasks and responsibilities. By teaching children the value of hard work and financial competency, parents can help them develop a strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility.

Heritage Over Inheritance

Donnell highlights the importance of sharing family stories and heritage with children to help them understand their roots and identity. By passing down stories of family history and accomplishments, parents can instill a sense of pride and connection to their lineage. He shares personal anecdotes about his family's history, including stories of ancestors who overcame challenges and achieved remarkable feats.

Relationship Breakthroughs

Donnell discusses the significance of understanding and addressing the different love languages within a family. By recognizing and catering to each family member's unique needs and preferences, parents can strengthen their relationships and foster deeper connections. He also highlights the importance of forgiveness in maintaining healthy relationships and resolving conflicts within the family.

Pay to a Point Strategy

Donnell introduces the concept of the "pay to a point" strategy, which involves making intentional decisions about financial matters within the family. By discussing topics such as college funding, inheritance, and financial responsibilities with children, parents can help them develop a healthy relationship with money and understand the value of financial independence.

Inner Circle and Dinner Views

Donnell emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with a supportive inner circle of friends and family who share similar values and goals. By building a strong network of like-minded individuals, parents can create a supportive environment for themselves and their children. Donnell also discussed the concept of "dinner views," where families invite guests to dinner to share stories, insights, and experiences. By exposing children to a diverse range of perspectives and role models, parents can help broaden their horizons and foster personal growth.

Money Trauma and Identity

Donnell delves into the concept of money trauma and how it can impact one's identity and self-worth. He explains that trauma related to money can stem from various sources, such as growing up in a family where everything was provided, leading to a lack of preparedness for financial independence. This can create a cycle of financial struggles and challenges in subsequent generations. He highlights the need to separate one's identity from their net worth and emphasizes the importance of focusing on creating value for others rather than tying self-worth to material possessions.

Healing from Money Wounds

To heal from money traumas, Donnell suggests a process of forgiveness and letting go. He explains that it is essential to acknowledge the pain and trauma associated with money, but also to find the gift or lesson that has emerged from those experiences. By focusing on the positive outcomes and growth that have resulted from past challenges, individuals can move towards forgiveness and release the emotional burden associated with money traumas.

Secure Attachment with Money

Donnell discusses the importance of developing a secure attachment with money, where individuals are intentional about their financial decisions and prioritize creating value for others. He emphasizes the need to identify one's skills and talents that can contribute to the world and meet significant needs. By focusing on creating value and being disciplined with money, individuals can cultivate a healthy relationship with finances and avoid falling into patterns of anxiety, scarcity, or overspending.

Value Creation and Giving Back

Donnell shares his perspective on value creation and giving back to the community. He believes that money is a tool for creating value and that individuals should focus on honing their skills to make a positive impact in the world. He emphasizes the importance of serving others and finding ways to contribute to society through acts of kindness, generosity, and empathy. By aligning one's values with the desire to create value for others, individuals can experience fulfillment and abundance in their lives.

Family Dynamics and Money

Donnell explores the dynamics of family relationships and money, particularly when family members ask for financial assistance. He emphasizes the importance of discerning between enabling unhealthy financial habits and supporting genuine efforts to create value. Donnell suggests that individuals should consider how their financial assistance will be used and whether it will contribute to positive growth and development. By focusing on helping family members create value and improve their financial literacy, individuals can foster a culture of empowerment and self-sufficiency within their families.

Debt and Financial Decision-Making

Regarding debt and financial decision-making, Donnell emphasizes the importance of financial competency and responsible money management. He categorizes debt as a level three conversation, indicating that individuals should first focus on spending less than they earn, saving, and investing wisely. He advises against taking on unnecessary debt and encourages individuals to prioritize their financial well-being by making informed decisions about borrowing and spending. By following basic financial principles and focusing on creating value, individuals can build a solid foundation for financial stability and success.

Teaching Kids about Money

Donnell emphasizes the significance of teaching kids about money and financial literacy from a young age. He suggests that parents should have open conversations with their children about how they grew up around money and what money means to their family. Understanding each other's perspectives on money can help align financial values within a family.

The Importance of Positive Mindset

Donnell shares a valuable lesson from his 91-year-old grandfather, who advised him to "take things positively." This mindset of approaching challenges with a positive attitude can help individuals navigate difficult situations, including financial struggles and relationship issues. By viewing every expense as an investment and every mistake as a learning opportunity, individuals can cultivate a positive relationship with money.

Building Strong Relationships

Donnell highlights the impact of money on relationships, particularly in marriages. He suggests that couples should have open discussions about money, including their financial backgrounds, goals, and values. By aligning their views on money and creating a shared financial plan, couples can avoid conflicts and build a strong foundation for their relationship.

The Role of Prenuptial Agreements

While discussing prenuptial agreements, Donnell acknowledges the complexity of this topic. He emphasizes the importance of approaching prenups from a perspective of protecting the family's future legacy rather than focusing on individual assets. By having clear agreements in place, couples can navigate potential challenges in the future and ensure a fair resolution in case of a divorce.

Creating a Legacy

Donnell shares insights on creating a legacy through positive relationships and financial stewardship. He encourages individuals to focus on building strong connections with their family members and cultivating a mindset of generosity and gratitude. By taking a proactive approach to financial planning and prioritizing relationships over material wealth, individuals can leave a lasting legacy for future generations.

Resources for Financial Education

Donnell provides resources for parents and families to enhance their financial literacy and parenting skills. He mentions the "Dinner Table" brand, which offers courses, coaching, and a free parenting community focused on teaching families about money management and values. By accessing these resources, parents can learn practical strategies for raising financially responsible children and fostering positive relationships within their families.

The Three Truths:

In the hypothetical scenario of leaving behind three truths, Donnell shares profound insights that reflect his values and beliefs. He emphasizes the importance of healing from past wounds to prevent passing down negative patterns to future generations. Additionally, he highlights the significance of living a life that prioritizes love and service to others, as well as adopting a mindset of abundance and generosity.

Defining Greatness

Donnell's definition of greatness revolves around meeting the best version of oneself at the age of 70 and being content with the person they have become. This concept underscores the importance of personal growth, self-acceptance, and aligning one's actions with their values and aspirations. By striving to become the ideal version of oneself and finding fulfillment in that journey, individuals can achieve greatness in their lives.

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