“I’m More Afraid of What I Can’t See” | Sage Steele Show | EP 86

In this conversation between Sage Steele and guest Samantha Ponder, they cover a wide range of personal and societal topics. The discussion touches on lifestyle habits, family dynamics, urban living challenges in New York City, mental health, parenting philosophies, marriage insights, faith, career transitions, managing anxiety, social media influence, and self-care practices.

Kashmir Socks and Personal Comfort

The conversation opens with Samantha sharing her unexpected but passionate love for high-quality socks made from cashmere and wool, emphasizing how this small luxury transformed her experience with cold weather. She humorously details her devotion to this comfort item despite joking about Christian, her husband, making fun of her prioritizing socks while skimping on other clothing expenses. This personal anecdote sets a tone of embracing small pleasures and self-care.

Life in New York City: Rats, Crime, and Public Transit

Samantha candidly discusses the realities of living in New York City, including dealing with rat infestations and encounters with aggressive and mentally ill individuals on the streets and subway. She describes a vivid and unsettling experience witnessing rats rescuing their young during a torrential downpour, humorously juxtaposed with the affection she still holds for the city. Both women express concern over the increasing visibility of mentally ill and violent people in public spaces, emphasizing safety challenges for families, especially when using public transit. They debate the effectiveness of proposed solutions, such as mental health teams in the subway, and the morale of local law enforcement. The political climate and the recent mayoral election intensify their concerns about the city's future and safety, with Samantha noting many New Yorkers are contemplating leaving if conditions worsen.

Parenting and Safety in an Urban Environment

Navigating fears and realities, Samantha shares her philosophy of raising independent children within a challenging urban environment. She advocates teaching kids practical safety rules, such as staying in well-populated areas and avoiding isolated places. Despite the risks, she values the freedom and opportunities her children have in New York, such as cultural and educational experiences, that would not be available elsewhere. The conversation touches on balancing caution without instilling fear, highlighting the importance of fostering confidence and resilience in children.

The Hidden Dangers and Parenting Fears

The discussion moves to more subtle but frightening threats, such as the discovery of a middle school football coach involved in child exploitation. This revelation contrasts with visible street dangers and serves as a reminder that some risks lurk unseen. Both Sage and Samantha acknowledge the unique challenges parents face today, especially regarding internet safety and the hidden nature of modern dangers, which can be more troubling than physical risks.

Mental Health, Communication, and Marriage

The dialogue shifts toward relationships and communication within marriage. Samantha reflects on her current marriage, emphasizing the critical role of feeling emotionally safe to express vulnerabilities openly. She recalls previous relationships where this safety was lacking and how that experience influenced her current partnership with Dave, who encourages honest dialogue even during difficult times. They underline that strong communication is a cornerstone of healthy marriages and a foundation for mutual support amid life's challenges.

Transitioning Careers and Managing Anxiety

Samantha reveals her recent career transition from a high-pressure, structured environment in sports broadcasting to entrepreneurship and hosting her own show. She admits that while the change offers freedom and authenticity, it also brings increased stress and anxiety because she no longer has external structures or bosses to guide her. The loss of routine and the demand to self-manage has exposed her to new mental health struggles. Both women discuss the exhausting nature of media careers and the internal pressures faced, as well as the personal growth that comes from standing up for one's beliefs, despite external backlash.

Faith and Resilience Amid Adversity

Faith plays a significant role in their lives, particularly in helping navigate difficult experiences, such as public scrutiny and career upheaval. Samantha describes how embracing faith has reshaped her perspective, helping her see challenges as opportunities for growth. She talks about teaching her children to "embrace the suck," recognizing that tough times often precede positive change, and the importance of trusting in a higher plan beyond worldly success or failure.

Parenting by Example

Both guests emphasize that children learn more from observing their parents' actions than from direct teaching. Samantha speaks about modeling resilience during her own career setbacks to demonstrate to her children that setbacks do not have to define them. The responsibility of living authentically in front of children adds a layer of accountability in both personal and professional realms.

Social Media Detox and Returning to Reality

Samantha describes her recent decision to step away from social media after feeling overwhelmed by constant comparison with an unrealistic conglomeration of others' curated lives. This digital detox has helped her appreciate the real, tangible parts of her life and improved her mental well-being. They discuss how social media distorts reality and often fuels feelings of inadequacy, making the return to genuine connections and experiences more fulfilling.

Simple Joys and Self-Care

The conversation closes with heartfelt reflections on the importance of simple, joyful moments and taking time for oneself. Samantha shares a recent experience dancing with her children to a classic hip-hop song, highlighting how spontaneous, fun times create lasting memories. Both agree on the significance of self-care habits, such as daily walks and moments of relaxation, to maintain mental health and model healthy living for their families. They also gently critique societal beauty and wellness trends that don't personally resonate, like manicures, reinforcing that self-care looks different for everyone.

Enduring Friendship and Support

Throughout the conversation, the deep friendship between Sage and Samantha underpins the dialogue, offering warmth and encouragement. They acknowledge how their bond provides mutual support amid life's complexities, with promises to continue these meaningful conversations regularly, even "through rats and crackheads," reflecting the realities they embrace together.