This 5-Minute Habit Will TRANSFORM Your Life | Michael O'Brien X Rich Roll Podcast

Added: Apr 8, 2024

Being Caught in the Rat Race

After graduating from college and starting a career in sales, O'Brien found himself caught in the rat race of corporate life, constantly striving for promotions and material success to validate his self-worth. Despite outward appearances of success, he carried a heavy emotional burden, constantly comparing himself to others and feeling the pressure to meet societal expectations of what a successful life should look like. This led to a cycle of people-pleasing and self-doubt, as he struggled to find true fulfillment and happiness in his life.

The Day That Changed his Life

The pivotal moment in O'Brien's life came during a business trip to New Mexico, where he was involved in a serious cycling accident that left him critically injured. The accident occurred early in the morning when a driver cut the apex of a road, causing a collision with O'Brien. He was pronounced dead at the scene but miraculously survived, although with severe injuries.

In the aftermath of the accident, O'Brien found himself surrounded by medical professionals and faced with the reality of his situation. He made a bargain with himself, promising to stop chasing happiness if he survived. This marked a significant shift in his mindset and approach to life, as he realized the importance of living in the moment and appreciating the present.

The severity of O'Brien's injuries was extensive, including a shattered left femur, a torn femoral artery, nerve damage, and fractures in his right leg and shoulder. He underwent multiple surgeries and spent months in rehabilitation, facing chronic pain and physical limitations.

Struggles and Anger

Initially, O'Brien struggled with anger and resentment towards the driver who caused the accident. He felt a strong desire for revenge and plotted various schemes to get back at the driver. The lack of legal consequences for the driver added to his frustration, and he carried this anger with him for years. However, a transformative experience during a trip to Europe, where he met a Holocaust survivor who had forgiven her oppressors, planted the seed of forgiveness in O'Brien's heart. This encounter challenged him to let go of his anger and seek a path towards forgiveness.

The Journey to Forgiveness

Over time, O'Brien's perspective shifted, and he began to work on forgiving the driver who had caused him so much pain. He realized that holding onto anger was only weighing him down and preventing him from fully healing. Through small steps and consistent effort, he gradually let go of his desire for revenge and focused on moving forward with his life. The process of forgiveness was not easy, but it allowed him to lighten the emotional burden he had been carrying for years.

Labeling Experiences

During his recovery, O'Brien received valuable advice from a mentor who emphasized the concept of neutrality in labeling experiences. This perspective allowed him to see his accident as a neutral event and choose how he wanted to perceive and respond to it. He also adopted the idea of the "last bad day," recognizing that life is a series of moments with varying experiences and emotions.

A Journey of Personal Growth

O'Brien's journey of recovery and self-discovery led him to appreciate the support and guidance of mentors, who played a significant role in shaping his mindset and approach to life. By refraining from shooting "second arrows" at himself and focusing on moving forward from the "first arrows" of life's challenges, he found a sense of resilience and inner strength.

Through a process of introspection and self-discovery, O'Brien embarked on a journey of personal growth and transformation, learning to let go of the need for external validation and embrace his authentic self. He began to unpack the emotional baggage he had been carrying for years, confronting his insecurities and fears with courage and vulnerability. This inner work allowed him to cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance, paving the way for a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

Returning to Cycling

Getting back on his bike was a significant milestone in O'Brien's recovery journey. Initially hesitant and fearful of traffic, he eventually overcame his apprehensions and started riding again. Cycling became a source of joy and empowerment for him, allowing him to push his physical limits and challenge himself. Through perseverance and determination, he regained his strength and confidence on the bike, participating in various cycling events and adventures.

Reframing Normalcy

As O'Brien continued his recovery and cycling pursuits, he realized that his definition of "normal" had shifted. He embraced his physical scars and limitations, recognizing that they were a part of his journey and added to his resilience. Instead of striving to return to his pre-accident state, he focused on embracing his new reality and finding beauty in the challenges he had overcome. This shift in perspective allowed him to appreciate the progress he had made and celebrate the person he had become.

Impact on Personal Growth

Beyond his cycling achievements, O'Brien's greatest pride lies in his role as a father and husband. He and his wife have raised two daughters who have grown into compassionate and empathetic individuals. He sees his primary job as being a positive influence in the world and instilling values of kindness and love in his family. His experiences have shaped him into a more empathetic and resilient person, capable of facing life's challenges with grace and compassion.

Introduction to Kugi Effect and Wabi Sabi

O'Brien introduces the concept of Kugi, a Japanese art form and philosophy that embraces imperfection. He explains how Kugi involves repairing broken pottery with gold lacquer, creating a unique and beautiful piece with visible scars. He also mentions Wabi Sabi, which celebrates the beauty of impermanence and aging. He relates these concepts to his own journey of embracing his scars and imperfections after his accident.

The Importance of Connection and Belonging

O'Brien emphasizes the significance of connection and belonging in healing and personal growth. He highlights the need for individuals to come together, support each other, and embrace their imperfections. He discusses the idea of finding "like-hearted" people who share values of compassion, kindness, and love, rather than just seeking out like-minded individuals.

Challenges in Modern Society

O'Brien reflects on the challenges of modern society, including the fast-paced nature of life, the overwhelming influence of social media, and the lack of genuine human connection. He discusses the importance of slowing down, pausing, and truly seeing and hearing each other in order to foster healing and understanding.

Personal Journey with Mindfulness

O'Brien shares his personal journey with mindfulness, which began during his hospitalization after the accident. He describes how he discovered the power of pausing, breathing, and reflecting as a way to calm his mind and navigate through overwhelming moments. He explains how mindfulness helped him find gratitude, set intentions, and focus on how he wanted to show up in the world.

In his mindfulness practice, O'Brien incorporates reflection as a key component. He encourages individuals to choose their own approach to reflection, whether it involves gratitude lists, body awareness, future orientation, or contemplation of emotions. He also suggests using reflection before important meetings as a way to center oneself and set intentions for positive communication and collaboration.

O'Brien emphasizes the importance of mindfulness as a way of living and a sensibility that extends beyond individual practice. He discusses the value of mindfulness in fostering a sense of community, connection, and awareness of others. He encourages weaving mindfulness throughout the day and bringing a mindful presence to interactions with others.

Through his work as an executive coach and meditation teacher, O'Brien helps others incorporate mindfulness practices into their lives. He believes that mindfulness can be transformational and lead to a deeper sense of connection, gratitude, and purpose. By sharing his "pause breathe reflect" approach, he aims to help individuals slow down, listen to their bodies, and cultivate a more mindful way of living.

The Concept of a Peloton

Drawing inspiration from cycling, O'Brien introduces the concept of a "peloton" in life. He explains that just like cyclists in a race work together in a peloton to achieve greater speed and efficiency, surrounding oneself with a supportive and trustworthy community can help navigate life's challenges. He encourages listeners to build their own peloton of individuals who can offer guidance, support, and encouragement on their journey.

Starting Small and Building Habits

O'Brien emphasizes the importance of starting small when embarking on a journey of personal growth. He suggests taking incremental steps, such as journaling, breathwork, or meditation, to create positive habits that can lead to lasting change. By starting with small, manageable practices, individuals can gradually build momentum and make sustainable progress towards their goals.

The Pause Breathe Reflect App

O'Brien introduces the "Pause Breathe Reflect" app, a digital platform designed to help individuals incorporate mindfulness practices into their daily lives. The app offers short, guided practices that can be easily integrated into busy schedules. By providing a moment of tranquility and reflection, the app aims to support users in cultivating a sense of presence and self-awareness.

The Importance of Listening to the Body

O'Brien highlights the significance of listening to the body as a starting point for self-discovery and healing. He encourages individuals to pay attention to physical sensations and signs of stress or discomfort, as these can serve as valuable indicators of inner turmoil. By tuning into the body's signals, individuals can gain insight into their emotional and mental well-being.

Practicing Breathwork

In a brief breathwork practice shared during the podcast, O'Brien guides listeners through a simple exercise of three slow inhales and exhales. This practice serves as a reset and a moment of grounding, allowing individuals to connect with their breath and cultivate a sense of calm and presence. By incorporating breathwork into daily routines, individuals can enhance their overall well-being and resilience.

Spreading Positivity in a Divisive World

In a world filled with negativity and division, O'Brien believes in the power of spreading hope and positivity. He views each day as an opportunity to make a positive impact and create ripples of kindness and understanding. Despite the challenges of the current times, he remains optimistic about the potential for collective growth and unity. By connecting with others on a human level and fostering empathy and compassion, he believes that we can overcome differences and work towards a more harmonious world.

The Importance of Embracing Uncertainty

As O'Brien shares his story, he emphasizes the importance of being intentional about how we show up in the world and the power of embracing uncertainty and vulnerability. He encourages listeners to challenge societal norms and expectations, and to prioritize self-care and self-compassion in their journey towards personal growth and fulfillment. By sharing his own struggles and triumphs, he inspires others to embrace their imperfections and scars, recognizing that true strength and resilience come from owning and honoring one's unique journey.