Secret Service Agent Explains Psychological Tricks To Read Anyone & Spot A Liar

Added: Jul 5, 2024

Interestingly, Poumpouras did not set out to join law enforcement. She stumbled into it after realizing a corporate job wasn't for her. On a whim, she applied to several agencies and was hired by the Secret Service first. She had no criminal justice background but was driven by a desire to help people and do good in the world.

Lessons from Working with Presidents

Through her work protecting presidents and world leaders, Poumpouras gained valuable insights into how successful people think and act. She observed their remarkable resilience in the face of harsh public criticism, noting how they maintained composure even when being attacked in the media. This taught her the importance of not taking things personally and developing "mental armor" to deflect negativity.

Poumpouras also learned the value of losing gracefully, asking for help, and delegating effectively. She saw that presidents don't try to know everything themselves, but rather surround themselves with experts and advisors. This showed her that it's not a weakness to seek assistance from others with specialized knowledge.

Managing Stress in High-Pressure Situations

As a Secret Service agent, Poumpouras faced many stressful and potentially dangerous situations. She explains that extensive training and preparation helps agents stay calm under pressure. There's also an understanding and acceptance that something could go wrong at any time. To cope with the tension, Poumpouras and her colleagues would often use humor to lighten the mood when appropriate.

She emphasizes the importance of staying fully present and focused in intense moments. The training puts agents through extremely stressful simulations to see how they'll react. However, Poumpouras notes that you never truly know how someone will perform until they're tested in a real-life scenario.

Training as a Human Lie Detector

Poumpouras served on the Secret Service's elite polygraph unit, where she received specialized training in detecting deception. This involved intensive study of biology, psychology, pharmacology, and human behavior. She learned how to read body language, analyze verbal cues, and pick up on subtle indicators that someone may be lying or withholding information.

However, Poumpouras cautions against oversimplifying lie detection or relying too heavily on any one "tell." She explains that different people have different baselines for eye contact, body language, etc. The key is to observe someone's overall behavior and look for deviations from their personal norm.

Reading People and Establishing Baselines

When meeting someone new, Poumpouras recommends taking time to observe and establish a baseline for their typical behavior. Pay attention to how they walk, talk, and carry themselves when relaxed. Notice their normal patterns for eye contact, body positioning, tone of voice, etc. Once you have a sense of their baseline, you'll be better equipped to spot any deviations that could signal deception or discomfort.

Poumpouras emphasized that the goal isn't to constantly analyze or judge others, but rather to gather information that can help you make better decisions in your interactions. She advised against calling people out on their body language or making them feel uncomfortable. Instead, use your observations privately to inform your own choices and responses.

Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues

While there's no foolproof "lie detector" technique, Poumpouras shared some potential red flags to watch for:

- Bringing props like a Bible or rosary beads to an interview

- Excessive use of phrases like "I swear to God" or "on my mother's grave"

- Stalling tactics or answering questions with questions

- Shifts in pronoun usage (e.g. "the car" vs "my car")

- Not directly answering the question asked

- Body language that doesn't match verbal statements

- The "fleeing position" - body angled toward an exit

However, she stresses that these must be considered in context and in relation to the person's baseline behavior. No single "tell" is definitive proof of deception on its own.

Paralinguistics and Conveying Confidence

Poumpouras explains the concept of paralinguistics - how we sound when we speak, including tone, pitch, and cadence. She emphasizes that how we say something is often more impactful than the words themselves. To project confidence and authority, she recommends

- Using a stronger, deeper tone of voice

- Speaking more slowly

- Incorporating strategic pauses

- Focusing on a few key talking points rather than trying to say everything

- Being physically present and making eye contact

- Owning your voice and not rushing through your words

She notes that women especially tend to use higher pitches and qualifiers that can undermine their authority. Poumpouras encourages finding and using your authentic voice, not one shaped by shame or insecurity.

Handling Difficult Conversations

When approaching a challenging conversation, Poumpouras advises:

- Get clear on your objective before the conversation

- Leave your emotions "at the door" and stay focused on gathering information

- Don't expect or try to force a confession or admission

- Pay attention to small admissions and behavioral cues

- Be prepared for potential manipulation or misdirection

- Remember you can only control your 50% of the interaction

- Have a plan for how to proceed based on what you learn

She emphasized that you don't need someone to verbally admit wrongdoing to gain valuable insights into the situation. Their behavior, evasions, and small admissions often tell you everything you need to know.

Building Confidence and Resilience

Poumpouras challenges the notion that we need to feel brave or confident before taking action. She argues that bravery and confidence come through doing, not thinking. It's okay to feel afraid or unprepared - the key is to act anyway. She shares that some of her bravest moments came after messing up or facing rejection.

Rather than fixating on how you feel, she recommends focusing on the mission or task at hand. By directing your energy outward instead of inward, you can often push through fear and self-doubt to accomplish your goals.

Trusting Your Instincts

A key theme throughout the conversation was the importance of trusting your instincts and paying attention to red flags. Poumpouras notes that we often ignore our gut feelings or make excuses for concerning behavior in others. She encourages listeners to be honest with themselves about what they observe and feel in their interactions.

At the same time, she cautions against becoming overly cynical or distrustful. The goal is to gather information to make informed decisions, not to constantly analyze or judge others. She emphasizes maintaining an open mind and heart while also staying grounded in reality.

Taking Responsibility and Handling Your Problems

Poumpouras's main advice to listeners is to "handle your shit" - take responsibility for addressing your problems instead of avoiding them or blaming others. She acknowledged this is often difficult, but argued it's the only way to create positive change in your life.

She recommends sitting down and making a concrete plan for how to address whatever issue you're facing, whether that's confronting someone, leaving a relationship, quitting a job, or making another tough choice. Poumpouras advises getting into a steady, prepared mindset before taking action.

Importantly, she notes that handling your problems doesn't always mean having a big confrontation. Sometimes the right move is simply to pack up and leave a bad situation without explanation. Trust yourself to know what's best for you without seeking excessive outside input.

Conclusion

Throughout the discussion, Poumpouras emphasizes the power of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and decisive action. By staying grounded, observant, and willing to make tough choices, we can navigate challenging situations and relationships more effectively. While her background is in high-stakes law enforcement, the principles she shared can apply to everyday personal and professional interactions as well.