5 Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself Right Now

In this podcast episode, Mel Robbins focuses on five powerful questions designed to help you pause amid life's chaos, reflect on your current state, realign with your joy, and slowly reclaim your life from the overwhelming demands that drain your energy and spirit.

Pausing the Chaos to Check In With Yourself

Robbins opens with an acknowledgment of how life can become relentlessly overwhelming. Work, family responsibilities, errands, and endless to-dos rob many of us not only of time but also of joy and true self-connection. She reminds listeners that the first step to finding clarity and relief is simply pausing long enough to check in with yourself and acknowledge your real feelings—not the automatic, polite responses so often given. The initial question she poses is deceptively simple but profound: "How are you really doing right now?"

Robbins stresses the importance of sitting with this question beyond surface-level answers and recognizing any layers beneath. Whether you feel content or overwhelmed, anxious or peaceful, naming these feelings aloud creates space outside your head and emotions, makes the invisible visible, and mitigates the sense of isolation that often accompanies stress. Drawing on clinical psychological insights, Robbins emphasizes that many struggles improve simply when they are articulated, reiterating that you don't have to fix anything immediately, just tell yourself the truth and honor your experience.

Robbins shares how this exercise has helped her find contentment in recent months after committing to slowing down work travel and making room for rest and connection. This personal anecdote grounds the question in real life and encourages you to find your own place of truth regardless of where you currently stand emotionally.

Rediscovering the Power of Connection

The second question shifts the focus outward toward relationships: "Who is someone you've spent time with recently, or someone you wish you had?" Robbins highlights that relationships deeply influence our happiness and health, far more than achievements or possessions. By reflecting on who you have connected with—or who you've been neglecting—you begin to uncover the social fabric that supports your emotional well-being.

Robbins shares a touching and humorous family story about reuniting her two brother's Australian Shepherd dogs in Vermont after years apart, demonstrating that often the simplest, smallest interactions are the most meaningful. The story illustrates how prioritizing connection doesn't require elaborate vacations or grand gestures, but intentional time together, even if for just a few minutes over the phone. She urges listeners not to wait passively for invitations or perfect timing but take initiative to reach out and make plans for connection.

She reinforces this with findings from the renowned Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study of its kind, which shows that relationship quality is the single strongest predictor of lifelong happiness and health. This makes the question not just a good reflection but an imperative: relationships deserve priority, and small efforts to restore or deepen them can radically improve life satisfaction.

Reclaiming Joy Through Small Acts

Robbins then invites listeners to reflect on joy with the third question: "What's something you've done recently that brought you joy, and how can you do more of it?" She contextualizes joy as a lifeline, especially crucial during periods of burnout or emotional difficulty. Joy doesn't have to be grand or all-encompassing but can come from the ordinary, everyday moments that nurture your spirit.

She recounts a joyful evening with her adult children playing Harry Potter Monopoly, sharing laughter and fun through simple, playful connection. She also speaks about gardening and how tending to her flowers provides a meditative, joyful pause in her daily life. These examples serve as reminders that joy can be routine and accessible; it just needs to be identified and made a priority.

Research from psychiatrist Dr. Judith Joseph about the power of small moments of joy during depression underlines Robbins's point—these instances are more than pleasant; they provide essential relief and renewal. For those struggling to identify their own sources of joy, Robbins suggests looking back at photos or memories that recall happy moments and building those activities back into life. Joy, she insists, is purposeful, and through intentional small steps, you can bring more of it into your week.

Freeing Yourself by Tackling What You're Avoiding

The fourth question confronts what's draining you: "What's one thing you've been putting off that is sapping your energy?" Robbins confronts this personally and vulnerably, admitting to her own drawer clutter, neglected carpet issues, and a skin lesion that urgently needs medical attention but has been postponed. These seemingly minor but nagging tasks weigh on the mind and spirit far more than their actual time commitment suggests.

Drawing inspiration from a TikTok account called How Long Does It Actually Take?, she highlights how many delayed errands or chores require mere minutes to complete, yet their mental burden can drain significant energy. This question encourages you to pick one such task today, no matter how small or unpleasant, and just get it done. The resulting sense of freedom and lightness is invaluable and can create momentum toward greater productivity and well-being.

Robbins frames this practice as a form of self-care and empowerment—not procrastination or avoidance, but deliberate action to unburden yourself. Acknowledging these things not only clears mental space but also reverberates positively across other areas of life.

Inviting Growth and Fun Through Trying Something New

Finally, Robbins challenges you to look forward with the fifth question: "What's something new you want to try during the week?" This question counters the common cycle of waiting for the weekend to have fun, only to end up exhausted or overscheduled. She encourages integrating new, joyful experiences during the workweek—whether that's a dance class, cooking class, or any creative or social activity.

Using research from Oxford University on how learning new skills alters brain structure, Robbins makes the point that trying new things isn't just enjoyable but also beneficial for cognitive aging and mental health. She shares her own intention to start a hip-hop dance class despite her self-professed awkwardness and dyslexia with choreography, modeling courage and self-compassion in stepping into the uncomfortable for growth.

By incorporating new activities, you create reasons to end your workday, engage socially, and stimulate your brain—all of which contribute to a fuller, more joyful life. Robbins actively invites her listeners to share their commitments and join her in this practice, making the process collaborative and motivational.

The Power of Questions as Tools for Self-Discovery

Throughout the episode, Robbins underscores that these five questions are tools to excavate inner wisdom, not tests to be passed or perfect answers to be found. There are no right or wrong responses; the value lies in honest reflection and conscious action. By revisiting the questions over time, you can regain clarity, notice shifts in your feelings, and keep aligning with a life that reflects your true self.

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