3 Steps to Eliminate Self Doubt & Get Everything You Want In Life
Added: Jul 15, 2024
Mel Robbins begins by explaining that her mission for this episode is to trigger listeners and make them feel annoyed or angry, either at her or someone else. She wants listeners to recognize feelings of frustration about not doing things they know they should be doing, being scared, holding themselves back, or refusing to take risks. Robbins emphasizes that anger can be a valuable emotion when it's trying to tell you something important. She then introduces the main topic: how to turn triggers into powerful teachers in your life.
Three Types of Triggers
Robbins introduces the concept of three different types of triggers that can show up in life and push people forward:
1. When an Irritating Person Gets What You Want
This type of trigger occurs when someone you don't particularly like achieves success in an area where you want to succeed. Robbins explains that 90% of the time, these people are showing up every day and putting in the work, even if you don't see it. The anger you feel is actually directed at yourself for not doing the same. This trigger is a gift, albeit a painful one, because it provides fuel to motivate yourself.
2. Being in a Situation Where You Have No Idea What You're Doing
Robbins shares a personal story about talking her way into a job she wasn't qualified for and pretending to know what she was doing for six months before being called out and fired. This experience was extremely triggering and embarrassing, but it taught her the importance of honesty and asking for help when needed. She learned that admitting when you don't know something is a sign of intelligence and creates trust.
3. Playing Small Because You're Scared
This trigger relates to impostor syndrome and underestimating your own capabilities. Robbins shares another personal story about underpricing herself as a speaker early in her career due to fear and feelings of unworthiness. It took a brutally honest conversation with a client who told her she was significantly underpaid compared to other speakers to make her realize she was playing small.
The Importance of Recognizing and Using Triggers
Robbins emphasizes that recognizing these triggers is the first and most important step. Instead of avoiding or ignoring them, she encourages listeners to welcome triggers as teachers. The more you avoid doing something you know you need to do, the bigger and more painful the trigger will become. She introduces the concept of the "100 day rule" as a formula for taking action: commit to doing something related to your goal every day for 100 days, whether it's posting on social media, writing song lyrics, or practicing a specific skill.
Anger as a Motivator
Robbins reframes anger as a potentially positive emotion when used correctly. She explains that getting angry at yourself can be important if you know what to do with that anger. It's a signal that something needs to change, and it can provide the motivation needed to take action.
The Power of Honesty and Vulnerability
A recurring theme in the podcast is the importance of honesty and vulnerability. Robbins stresses that admitting when you don't know something or asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of intelligence and self-awareness. She encourages listeners to be honest with themselves and others about their capabilities and limitations, arguing that this honesty creates trust and opens up opportunities for growth and learning.
Reframing Negative Experiences
Throughout the podcast, Robbins consistently reframes potentially negative experiences as opportunities for growth and learning. Whether it's being triggered by someone else's success or facing a painful truth about oneself, she encourages listeners to look for the lesson in every situation. This positive reframing helps shift the perspective from victimhood to empowerment, allowing listeners to take control of their reactions and use challenging experiences as catalysts for personal growth.
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