3 Simple Ways to Get the Love You Want
Added: Feb 12, 2024
In this episode of the Mel Robbins podcast, Robbins discusses the topic of expressing love and why it is important to tell people that you love them. She starts by sharing how she was inspired by Linda Wayman, a former special education teacher who turned around a failing school by ending each day with the message, "If nobody told you they loved you today, remember I do and I always will." This simple act of expressing love and belief in the potential of others had a profound impact on the students and the school's success.Key takeaways
Expand your definition of love to include demonstrating to others that they matter, regardless of personal feelings.
Expressing love and belief in others can have a profound impact on their success and well-being.
Being a good listener is crucial for building and maintaining relationships and fostering a sense of connection.
Verbalizing your love and appreciation for others can create a more loving and supportive environment.
Small gestures of love, such as sending a thoughtful message or compliment, can make a significant difference in people's lives.
Expanding the Definition of Love
Robbins challenges listeners to expand their definition of love beyond just feeling affection towards someone. She believes that love is about demonstrating to others that they matter to you, regardless of whether you like them or not. She gives examples of how she expresses love to people like her UPS driver and the maintenance worker in her building, showing that love is about making others feel valued and appreciated.
The Controversy of Expressing Love
Despite her intentions to spread love and positivity, Robbins reveals that expressing love on her podcast has sparked controversy among some listeners. While many appreciate and resonate with her message of love and belief in their potential, others have a visceral reaction and dislike hearing those words. She acknowledges the differing reactions but stands by her decision to end each episode by telling listeners, "I love you and I believe in you."
The Power of Love
Robbins emphasizes the importance of expressing love and belief in others, citing research that shows the positive impact of stable and supportive relationships on individual success and well-being. She shares personal anecdotes and examples of how acts of love, no matter how small, can make a significant difference in people's lives. By demonstrating love and making others feel valued, we can create a more positive and supportive environment for everyone.
Acting with Love
Robbins encourages listeners to be more generous with love and to actively demonstrate their care and appreciation for others. She believes that by giving love freely, it will come back to us in abundance. She shares her own experiences of expressing love to family, friends, colleagues, and even strangers, highlighting the transformative power of love in building connections and fostering a sense of belonging.
She believes that everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, and valued. Robbins acknowledges that some people may have had negative experiences with love in the past, leading them to be skeptical or guarded. However, she encourages listeners to be open to giving and receiving love without conditions.
Research Backed Ways to Bring Love into Your Life
Robbins discusses three research-backed ways to bring more love into one's life. The first way is to do something intentionally to make someone else feel like they matter. This can be as simple as sending a thoughtful message or complimenting someone's actions. Robbins emphasizes the power of small gestures in fostering a sense of connection and love.
The second way is to be a good listener. Robbins references Dr. John Gottman's research, which suggests that attentive listening is crucial for building and maintaining relationships. By giving someone your full attention, you make them feel valued and important, thus deepening the bond of love between you.
The third way is to verbalize your love and appreciation for others. Robbins shares a personal anecdote about a friend who waited years to hear his father say "I love you." She encourages listeners not to wait to express their love and to break the cycle of silence in their families. By openly sharing feelings of love, individuals can create a more loving and supportive environment for themselves and those around them.
Personal Examples and Insights
Throughout the podcast, Robbins shares personal stories and examples to illustrate the power of love and belief. She recounts interactions with strangers, family members, and friends that have left a lasting impact on her. She emphasizes the importance of being generous with love and appreciation, as it not only benefits others but also brings joy and fulfillment to the giver.
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