No.1 Neuroscientist: How To Have MORE Exciting Sex! & Fix Your BORING Sex Life! Dr. Tali Sharot
Added: Nov 16, 2023
In this podcast episode, Dr. Tali Sharot, a renowned neuroscientist and author, shares valuable insights on how to keep relationships fresh and exciting. She discusses the concept of habituation, which is the phenomenon where our brains stop responding to things that don't change. This can affect various aspects of our lives, including our relationships and sex lives.Key takeaways
Introduce breaks and distance into your relationships to reignite the spark and prevent habituation.
Try new activities and experiences together as a couple to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
Provide opportunities for intellectual challenge, control, and meaning in the workplace to prevent habituation and foster engagement.
Be mindful of the influence of social media and focus on genuine experiences and connections to avoid unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction.
Understand the balance between expectations and reality, recognizing how it impacts mood and overall well-being.
One of the key takeaways from Dr. Sharot's research is the importance of introducing novelty and variety into our lives. She explains that our brains stop responding to constant stimuli, whether it's positive or negative. This means that even if we have a great relationship, a good job, or a comfortable home, we may stop experiencing the joy and excitement that these things should bring.
Dr. Sharot suggests that introducing breaks and distance into our relationships can help reignite the spark. She shares a study that found people's sexual desire for their partner increased when they were away from them. This highlights the importance of creating space and distance to prevent habituation in relationships.
In addition to creating distance, Dr. Sharot emphasizes the importance of trying new things together as a couple. She explains that routine and familiarity can lead to habituation, so it's essential to explore new activities and experiences to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
Dr. Sharot also discusses the impact of habituation on our sex lives. She shares a study that found people enjoyed a song more when there were breaks in between listening to it, as well as a study that showed people's sexual desire for their partner increased when they were away from them. This highlights the importance of introducing breaks and novelty into our sex lives to prevent habituation.
In the context of work, Dr. Sharot recommends providing employees with opportunities for intellectual forward motion, challenge, control, and meaning in their roles. She also emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive and diverse work environment to foster creativity and engagement. Additionally, she discusses the illusory truth effect, which explains how repeated exposure to information can lead to increased belief in its truthfulness, regardless of its actual validity.
Furthermore, Dr. Sharot highlights the impact of social media on our expectations and perceptions of happiness. She explains how constantly comparing ourselves to others' curated online lives can lead to unrealistic expectations and a sense of dissatisfaction. She advises being mindful of the influence of social media and focusing on genuine experiences and connections rather than seeking validation through external sources.
Another key subject of the podcast is the idea that our expectations play a significant role in how we perceive our experiences. Dr. Sharot discusses a study showing that prisoners who are about to be released often experience a sense of anticipation and excitement. However, when they are finally released, they may feel disappointed because their expectations were higher than the reality. This phenomenon can also be observed in the context of social media, where people compare their lives to the seemingly perfect experiences of others, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and inadequacy.
Dr. Sharot also delves into the role of dopamine neurons in shaping our expectations and emotional responses. She explains that when outcomes are better than expected, dopamine neurons fire more, leading to a sense of reward and pleasure. Conversely, when outcomes are worse than expected, these neurons quiet down, signaling the need to learn and adapt. This delicate balance between expectations and reality can significantly impact our mood and overall well-being.
The podcast also explores the concept of discipline and motivation, highlighting the importance of understanding the underlying reasons for pursuing a goal. Dr. Sharot emphasizes the need to bridge the temporal gap between immediate actions and future rewards, suggesting that finding immediate rewards or emotional responses can help motivate individuals to pursue their goals.
Furthermore, Dr. Sharot discusses the significance of meaning and purpose in our lives, noting that the pursuit of meaningful activities can contribute to overall happiness and satisfaction. She highlights the luxury of being able to seek meaning in our lives, as it often goes beyond basic survival needs and encompasses the desire to make a positive impact on the world.
In the context of risk-taking, Dr. Sharot explains how individuals can gradually expand their comfort zones by taking small steps and gradually pushing their boundaries. However, she also warns about the potential negative effects of risk habituation, which can lead to escalating behaviors and potential dangers.
Related episodes
