Buddhist Teacher: The Hidden Epidemic Behind Your Depression & Anxiety! (No One Talks About This)

In this podcast episode, Buddhist monk and meditation teacher Gelong Thubten explores the modern struggle with self-worth, happiness, and purpose. He shares his personal journey from trauma to healing, and offers insights into how meditation can help us break free from anxiety, desire, and burnout. He also discusses the decline of religion, the science behind mindfulness, and how to face pain with compassion and courage.

The Modern Mind’s Struggle with Self-Worth and Happiness

In today’s fast-paced world, many people find themselves trapped in a relentless cycle of feeling inadequate and incomplete. Thubten highlights how modern life bombards us with messages that something is always missing—that happiness is conditional upon external achievements or possessions. This constant sense of lack leads to a state where individuals become prisoners of their own minds, perpetually waiting for the next event or acquisition to bring them joy or relief. The problem is that this external pursuit of happiness is inherently unstable, leaving people vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and burnout.

Thubten explains that this mindset causes us to live on the receiving end of life, reacting to circumstances rather than generating our own sense of purpose and contentment. The cultural narrative pushes the idea that happiness is “out there,” but meditation offers a way to reclaim control by turning inward. Instead of chasing fleeting external validations, we learn to cultivate a stable, internal source of peace and happiness, which is crucial in a world overloaded with stress and distraction.

The Breakdown of Religion and the Crisis of Purpose

The decline of traditional religious frameworks has left many people grappling with questions of purpose and meaning. Gelong Thubten observes that religion once provided a clear context for individuals to understand their place in the universe, offering a ready-made sense of purpose. In the post-religious Western world, however, this certainty has dissolved, and people are left to define purpose on their own, often leading to obsession with external goals and desires.

From a Buddhist perspective, this craving for purpose is tied to the insatiable nature of desire itself. The more we want, the more we want, creating a never-ending cycle of pursuit. Thubten suggests that what we are truly seeking is not external accomplishments but a deeper, internal freedom. The challenge is that most people don’t know how to access this inner wellspring of purpose, which meditation can help reveal by teaching us to become the creators of our own experience rather than passive recipients.

The Personal Journey: From Trauma to Monastic Life

Gelong Thubten’s own path to healing began in a place of profound suffering. He candidly shares how traumatic experiences in his early teens, including sexual abuse and family upheaval, left deep imprints on his psyche. These unresolved wounds contributed to a destructive lifestyle in his early twenties, marked by burnout, anxiety, and self-loathing. His story underscores how early trauma can manifest in escapist behaviors and mental health struggles later in life.

His turning point came when a close friend encouraged him to enter a Buddhist monastery. Initially, he saw this as a temporary refuge, a year-long break to recover. However, the monastery became a place of profound transformation. Despite initial resistance and difficulty with meditation, Thubten gradually learned to confront his pain rather than run from it. His experience illustrates how healing is often a long, challenging process that requires courage and commitment.

Meditation: Misconceptions and the True Practice

One of the biggest barriers to meditation is misunderstanding what it actually entails. Gelong Thubten admits that he initially hated meditation because he believed it meant “clearing the mind” or achieving a blank state. This misconception led to frustration as his negative thoughts only grew louder when he tried to suppress them. Meditation, he explains, is not about erasing thoughts but about changing our relationship with them.

The core practice involves focusing on the breath and gently returning attention to it whenever the mind wanders. This simple act of noticing distraction and coming back to the breath is the essence of meditation. Each return strengthens our ability to choose where to place our attention, gradually freeing us from being hijacked by negative or compulsive thinking. This process is akin to mental training, building resilience and clarity over time.

The Science and Practical Benefits of Meditation

Meditation is not just a spiritual practice but one supported by scientific evidence. Thubten points out that brain scans show visible changes after just a few days of regular meditation, indicating improvements in areas related to emotional regulation and focus. This neurological evidence helps demystify meditation and encourages people to see it as a practical tool for mental well-being.

Practically, meditation enhances emotional control, reduces stress, and improves cognitive function. For professionals, including CEOs and creatives, meditation can increase productivity by fostering presence and reducing burnout. Far from making people “too relaxed” or complacent, meditation cultivates a calm precision that allows for better decision-making and sustained effort. This clarity and emotional balance are key to thriving in demanding environments.

Buddhism as a Science of the Mind, Not a Religion

Gelong Thubten clarifies that Buddhism is often misunderstood as a religion centered on worship or dogma. Instead, he describes it as a science of awareness and a path of mental discovery. Rooted in the teachings of the historical Buddha, Buddhism focuses on understanding the nature of the mind and reality through direct experience rather than faith in deities.

Buddhism does not posit a creator god or eternal heaven and hell but views these as states of mind rather than fixed places. This perspective encourages practitioners to explore the illusory nature of self and phenomena, fostering a flexible and compassionate approach to life. By seeing everything as interconnected and impermanent, Buddhism offers tools to reduce suffering and cultivate freedom.

Working with Desire and Non-Attachment

A central theme in Buddhist teaching is the nature of desire and attachment. Thubten explains that desire arises from a sense of lack and fuels a cycle of craving and dissatisfaction. The happiness we experience when we get what we want is temporary relief from wanting, not lasting fulfillment. This cycle traps us in perpetual pursuit, often leaving us feeling empty despite material success.

Meditation helps us observe desire without being controlled by it. Rather than suppressing or indulging cravings, we learn to watch them with curiosity and compassion, recognizing that we are more than our desires. This non-attachment is not about renouncing life but about freeing ourselves from compulsive patterns that cause suffering. It opens the door to a more stable and genuine happiness.

Facing Pain and Trauma with Compassion

One of the most profound insights Thubten shares is the transformative power of turning toward pain rather than fleeing from it. During a four-year silent retreat, he confronted intense depression, anxiety, and traumatic memories that initially overwhelmed him. His breakthrough came when he shifted from resisting his suffering to using it as the object of meditation itself.

By focusing on the physical sensations of pain with kindness and without judgment, he learned to hold his suffering as one would a frightened animal—gently and compassionately. This practice of self-compassion allowed the sharp edges of his pain to soften and eventually transform. It is a radical approach that challenges the common impulse to avoid discomfort and shows how healing arises from acceptance and love.

Forgiveness and Letting Go of Grudges

Forgiveness is another difficult but essential practice discussed in the conversation. Thubten emphasizes that forgiveness is not about excusing harmful behavior or forgetting injustice but about freeing oneself from the toxic grip of anger and resentment. Holding grudges is likened to clutching a hot coal that burns the holder more than the target.

He shares how meditation helped him forgive even the person who murdered his teacher, recognizing that this individual was driven by confusion and suffering. Forgiveness, then, becomes an act of compassion that lightens our own burden and opens space for peace. It is a process rather than a single event, often involving deep reflection and meditation to release entrenched pain.

Integrating Meditation into Daily Life and Overcoming Fear

Thubten stresses that meditation is not about retreating from the world but about engaging with it more fully and fearlessly. In a culture saturated with fear—whether from media, politics, or social pressures—meditation offers a way to cultivate inner courage and presence. He advocates for “micro-meditations” throughout the day, such as mindful moments in queues or traffic jams, to rewire habitual stress responses.

This practice helps create a gap between impulse and reaction, allowing us to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. Meditation thus becomes a tool for living with greater freedom and effectiveness, whether in personal challenges or professional roles. It empowers us to face fear and uncertainty with calmness and clarity.

The Ongoing Journey of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Despite decades of practice, Gelong Thubten acknowledges that meditation and self-mastery are lifelong endeavors. He describes himself as “still a mess” but now able to be gentle and compassionate with his imperfections. This acceptance of ongoing struggle is itself a form of happiness and freedom.

He encourages people not to expect immediate perfection or bliss from meditation but to commit to the process with patience and kindness. The goal is not to eliminate difficulties but to change our relationship with them, cultivating resilience and peace. This perspective helps sustain practice through inevitable ups and downs.

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