The “Second Puberty” Nobody Tells You About: How to Unlock Your Brain’s New Power | Dr. Mindy Pelz

In this podcast episode, Dr. Mindy Pelz explores the profound, often overlooked transformation women experience during perimenopause and menopause. Drawing on neuroscience, anthropology, and personal narrative, she discusses the brain's rewiring during these stages, the hormonal and neurochemical shifts women undergo, and the societal challenges that accompany this natural life transition. Dr. Pelz also shares insights into how women can navigate these changes, embrace new identities, and foster healthier relationships with themselves and others.

The Biological Shifts in Menopause

Dr. Pelz reveals that menopause is a third critical period of brain pruning in a woman's life, following puberty and postpartum phases. Estrogen plays a pivotal role by stimulating neurochemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—the "girl gang" that creates a neurochemical armor, allowing women to tolerate and give endlessly. As estrogen declines during menopause, this armor dissolves, and the brain rewires itself, leading to changes in mood, cognition, and emotional responses. These shifts enable women to focus more on themselves, moving away from ingrained people-pleasing behaviors towards embracing leadership roles and self-prioritization.

The Emotional and Relational Impact

The estrogen-driven brain rewiring can cause symptoms such as depression, anxiety, irritability, and rage. Dr. Pelz explains that behaviors once tolerated or performed out of neurochemical support become exhausting or unwelcome, which can lead to tension in personal relationships. This transition often coincides with a spike in suicide rates for women aged 45 to 55 and a significant rise in divorces initiated by women after age 40. The intensity of emotions like rage reflects not only hormonal changes but also a mismatch between a woman's evolving needs and the social expectations imposed on her. Understanding this helps partners and communities respond with empathy rather than misunderstanding or blame.

The Cultural Silence and Stigma

Despite its universality, menopause has been a taboo topic in many cultures, and public conversation is relatively recent. Dr. Pelz highlights that only within the last few years has menopause been discussed openly in mainstream culture, paralleling the earlier normalization of conversations about menstrual cycles. The lack of societal support and knowledge has left many women isolated during their transition, compounding emotional distress and confusion. Dr. Pelz emphasizes the need to shift cultural narratives to celebrate menopausal women as wise leaders, overturning stereotypes that marginalize older women and deprive them of respect and visibility.

Personal Transformation and Reprioritization

Menopause presents a transformational opportunity for women who have long shouldered others' needs to pause, reassess, and reclaim their lives. Dr. Pelz shares her own experience of burnout before the devastating LA fires, which forced her to isolate and deeply reconnect with her own needs and preferences. This internal inquiry—from questioning daily routines to redefining relationships—allowed her to move from automatic caregiving into conscious self-care. She advocates for women to identify what no longer serves them and consciously create new ways of being that align with their true selves, a process that can heal relationships and restore balance.

The Role of Partners and Allies

Dr. Pelz includes a message for husbands, partners, and loved ones: understanding the neurochemical and emotional upheaval during menopause is crucial for maintaining supportive relationships. The recommendation is to see this period as a transformative phase, not as a crisis or decline. Partners who patiently and compassionately accompany a woman on this journey can ultimately strengthen their bonds. Dr. Pelz suggests open communication frameworks, such as creating new versions of a relationship (e.g., marriage 3.0) that incorporate the evolving needs of both people, thus fostering mutual growth and respect.

Lifestyle Adjustments for Hormonal and Brain Health

The discussion outlines practical lifestyle changes women can make to support their neurochemical and hormonal shifts. Exposure to full-spectrum natural light helps stimulate serotonin production, which declines as estrogen fades. Dietary considerations are vital, since metabolic changes around 40–45 years cause increased insulin resistance, making previous eating habits ineffective or detrimental. Simple tools like light exposure, movement, and even novelty (to boost dopamine) can help manage mood and cognitive symptoms. Dr. Pelz encourages women to personalize exercise routines to their bodies' current capabilities rather than following one-size-fits-all fitness advice, noting her own shift from running to weightlifting and surfing due to joint and connective tissue changes caused by estrogen loss.

The Importance of Metabolic Health

Dr. Pelz emphasizes metabolic health as a fundamental driver of hormonal balance and overall wellness during menopause. She advocates for regular monitoring of hemoglobin A1C as a window into glucose regulation over 90 days, explaining that poorly managed blood sugar impairs oxygen delivery and accelerates tissue decay. She connects metabolic health directly to hormonal functioning, noting that insulin resistance can sabotage reproductive hormones and exacerbate symptoms like weight gain and brain fog. Addressing diet, movement, stress, and sleep holistically supports the hormonal hierarchy and helps women regain control over their bodies.

Nervous System Regulation and Mental Well-being

Stress management emerges as a key theme, with Dr. Pelz highlighting the damaging effects of chronic sympathetic nervous system dominance leading to elevated cortisol. She shares her personal struggles with burnout and emphasizes the importance of activating the parasympathetic "rest and digest" response through slow, mindful activities and deliberate pauses. Recognizing and honoring the body's signals via an "internal navigation system" can guide women in addressing anxiety, grief, and other emotions that arise during this neurochemical transition. Cultivating rituals such as meditation, nature exposure, and connection with community helps recalibrate the nervous system and supports mental well-being.

Reframing Menopause Through Mythology and Society

Applying an anthropological and mythological lens, Dr. Pelz draws attention to the loss of tribal structures in modern society that once supported women through menopause with collective wisdom and communal roles. In many traditional cultures, elder women were revered as knowledge keepers and leaders, roles diminished today by ageism and cultural neglect. She references Carol Gilligan's research on gendered brain development and societal expectations around women's selflessness, illustrating how the drop in estrogen disrupts ingrained patterns of prioritizing others at the expense of self. Renewing cultural narratives that embrace menopausal wisdom is essential for shifting societal attitudes and empowering women.

Creating Supportive Communities and Conversations

The episode stresses the urgent need for safe, open spaces—whether in families, workplaces, or social groups—where women can share their menopausal experiences without shame or stigma. Dr. Pelz advocates for cultivating women's circles and cultural rituals that provide connection, shared resources, and collective healing, analogous to the Japanese moai system of community support. These networks counteract modern isolation and help women navigate this life stage with greater resilience. She also calls on healthcare providers and society to move beyond purely medicalizing menopause toward enabling women to explore identity, purpose, and joy during this transformative period.

Empowering Women with Agency and Compassion

Throughout the conversation, Dr. Pelz champions women's agency in choosing how they approach menopause, encouraging them to question cultural scripts and reclaim ownership of their health and happiness. She stresses that menopause should not be viewed merely as a set of symptoms to suppress, but as an invitation to reimagine life, priorities, and relationships. Holding space for grief, loss, and change with self-compassion enables a more authentic transition. Her work aims to shift the narrative from one of crisis or decline to one of empowerment, wisdom, and renewed possibility, inviting women to stand fully in their evolving brilliance.