Added: Nov 25, 2023
In this podcast episode, Dr. Tracy Vaillancourt discusses the topic of female competition and indirect aggression. She explains that women often engage in indirect aggression towards other women, particularly those who are perceived as sexually provocative or attractive. This behavior is rooted in evolutionary and social factors, as women historically needed to maintain their power holding position in the negotiation of resources, including sex. Dr. Vaillancourt conducted a study that showed women's intolerance of sexy peers, and she argues that women are often the enforcers of the suppression of female sexuality, not just men.She explains that women use indirect aggression as a form of intersexual competition, and it is a way to maintain their social standing and resource security. This behavior is deeply ingrained and is observed even in young girls, who engage in social comparisons and jealousy, leading to indirect aggression towards their peers. Dr. Vaillancourt also discusses the cultural and societal pressures that contribute to women's behavior, including the need for belonging and the fear of being ostracized.
She highlights the differences in behavior between men and women, particularly in sports settings. Women tend to hold grudges and have difficulty letting go of perceived wrongs, while men are more likely to shake hands and move on after a game. Additionally, she notes that the best player on a women's team may not necessarily be the most popular, as women tend to downplay their accomplishments to avoid attracting negative attention from their peers.
Dr. Vaillancourt also addresses the issue of self-deprecating humor and the pressure for women to minimize their achievements to avoid jealousy and negative reactions from other women. She explains that jealousy mediates the relationship between attractiveness comparison and indirect aggression, as women often attack themselves or the source of their jealousy to remedy the icky feeling of jealousy.
She explains that being a woman and navigating the delicate female status hierarchy is tough, and ignoring the thermodynamics of these interactions does not make it any easier. She stresses the importance of acknowledging and understanding these dynamics in order to bring about change. Dr. Vaillancourt also discusses the impact of bullying on mental health, citing statistics that show a decline in mental health among young people, particularly adolescent girls.
She explains that social media plays a significant role in exacerbating mental health issues, particularly for girls and women. The need to belong and the fear of missing out contribute to feelings of jealousy and social comparison, leading to depression and anxiety. Dr. Vaillancourt also discusses the evolutionary explanation for the heightened sensitivity to social dynamics among women, attributing it to the need for affiliation and belonging for survival.
Dr. Vaillancourt's research on bullying and social status reveals that most kids who bully others have a lot of power and possess assets and competencies valued by the peer group. She explains that bullies receive benefits such as more sex, better recognition, and the ability to influence the peer group. She also highlights the relationship between bullying and social status, emphasizing that high-status bullies tend to target those who challenge their status.
The discussion also delves into the impact of bullying on the developing brain, highlighting the neurobiological effects of peer victimization. Dr. Vaillancourt explains that bullying affects all aspects of functioning, including mental and physical health, memory, and stress response systems. She emphasizes that the impact of bullying persists across the lifespan, affecting areas of the brain rich in glucocorticoid receptor sites.
Furthermore, Dr. Vaillancourt discusses the persistence of social dynamics beyond high school, particularly in adult settings such as the workplace and parenting groups. She explains that adult bullying looks different from childhood bullying, but the underlying dynamics of power and hierarchy still play a role. The discussion also touches on the impact of toxic relationships and the fluidity of adult peer groups, which make it easier to escape toxic environments compared to high school settings.
Dr. Vaillancourt explains that interventions for reducing bullying have had limited success, with most programs showing only small effects. She suggests that universal programs that address all children in the school, involve education of teachers, and include peer involvement are more effective. She also emphasizes the importance of addressing high-status bullies, as they are often impervious to anti-bullying efforts.
The conversation delves into the challenges of addressing bullying, including the fear of retaliation and the reluctance of children to report bullying. Dr. Vaillancourt encourages children to speak up and seek help, as studies have shown that reporting bullying can lead to immediate cessation of the behavior.
The discussion also touches on the impact of bullying on parents, who may experience increased anxiety and vigilance when their children are being bullied. Dr. Vaillancourt advises parents to advocate for their children in a rational and calm manner, as emotional advocacy may not be as effective.
