The Secrets To Becoming An Original Thinker - Codie Sanchez | Modern Wisdom 695

Added: Oct 20, 2023

The podcast begins with a discussion on the definition of a contrarian. Codie quotes Christopher Hitchens, who defines a contrarian as someone who questions everything rather than simply disagreeing. She emphasizes the importance of questioning assumptions in the current world and suggests that those who continuously question assumptions are more likely to succeed in the long run. She believes that the goal is not to be ordinary or counter-culture but to use one's brain to develop unique thoughts and perspectives.

The conversation then delves into the idea that questioning everything may slow down decision-making. Codie shares an anecdote about a mutual friend, Bill Perkins, who attributes his success to taking risks and making decisions quickly. However, she argues that questioning assumptions is crucial to avoid moving forward towards things that one does not actually want in life. She highlights the importance of intentionality and knowing one's goals in order to make informed decisions.

The discussion then shifts to the concept of non-conformity and the need to curate one's content diet. Codie suggests that just as individuals are conscious of what they eat, they should also be mindful of what they read, watch, and listen to. She believes that the content one consumes shapes their thoughts and perspectives, and therefore, it is important to curate content that is beneficial and thought-provoking.

The conversation touches on the idea of being intentional in one's non-conformity. Codie mentions the importance of choosing one's controversies wisely and being aware of the outcomes of one's actions. She shares a quote from Nassim Taleb, stating that the world is divided between those who do not know how to start making money and those who do not know when to stop. This quote resonates with her and highlights the importance of knowing when enough is enough.

The podcast also explores the concept of having strong opinions but being open to changing them. Codie believes that having the ability to change one's mind is a mark of true intelligence. She contrasts this with politicians who often hold one stance forever for fear of flip-flopping. She emphasizes the importance of constantly experimenting and being open to new information and perspectives.

The conversation continues with a discussion on the importance of surrounding oneself with individuals who challenge and push them to stand their ground. Codie believes that having unruly individuals who make one question their beliefs is crucial for personal and professional growth. She also highlights the importance of having individuals who will stand by one's side even when others won't.

Codie starts by talking about the importance of honesty and how she values people who are willing to tell her the hard truth. She believes that it is better to hear the truth from loved ones rather than from strangers. She emphasizes the need for open communication and encourages people to be upfront and honest with each other.

She also discusses the concept of being a people pleaser and how it can hinder personal growth. Codie shares her own struggles with people-pleasing and how she has learned to say no more often. She believes that saying no is essential for success and that it is important to prioritize one's own needs and goals.

Codie then talks about the influence of Bill Perkins, a successful businessman, on her mindset. She shares how he challenged her to think bigger and not limit herself by thinking small. She emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with people who push them to achieve more and think outside the box.

The guest also discusses the concept of the "tyranny of the Urgent," which refers to the tendency to prioritize urgent tasks over important ones. She believes that focusing on important tasks and giving them the necessary time and attention is crucial for success. She encourages people to find the 10-20% of tasks that drive 80% of the results and prioritize them.

Codie also talks about the value of boredom and the importance of giving oneself time to think and reflect. She believes that allowing oneself to be bored can lead to more creativity and better ideas. She encourages people to create space in their lives for imagination and non-action-taking states.

The guest shares her perspective on hard work and the satisfaction that comes from achieving difficult goals. She believes that working hard and pushing oneself beyond comfort zones is essential for personal growth and success. She mentions the example of Navy SEALs and how they miss the challenging and demanding nature of their work when they retire.

Codie also discusses the importance of having a shared purpose and meaning in life. She believes that having a joint goal and working towards it with a group of like-minded individuals can bring a sense of fulfillment and happiness. She mentions the example of SEAL Team 3 and how the members miss the camaraderie and shared purpose after leaving the team.

The guest continues by talking about the reality of being married as a power couple. She shares that she and her husband have a strong and supportive relationship and that they enjoy each other's company. She emphasizes the importance of trust and reliability in a partnership and how it contributes to personal and professional growth.

She believes that being a power couple means being united against the world and having someone who understands and supports your goals and ambitions. She emphasizes the importance of finding a partner who is striving for something, as it allows for a deeper connection and shared experiences.

According to Codie, being a power couple doesn't necessarily mean both partners have to be successful in a traditional sense. However, she believes that it is easier to be on the same page and have meaningful conversations when both partners are working hard and pursuing their goals. She expresses her confusion about the concept of a trophy wife or husband, as she believes that a relationship based solely on looks is shallow. Instead, she encourages people to strive to be the best versions of themselves and find partners who can support and understand them.

Codie also discusses the concept of alpha polarity, which suggests that there should be a leader and a follower in a relationship. However, she believes that in the future, there will be a shift towards a more balanced dynamic, where both partners can support and empower each other. She mentions that some proponents of the alpha man movement have experienced divorce or are not in successful relationships, which questions the effectiveness of this approach. She believes that having each other's back and continuous support is more sustainable in a relationship.

The conversation then shifts to the qualities that attract men and women to each other. Codie suggests that men are generally attracted to women who have excellence and competence but may not have the same drive themselves. On the other hand, women are more attracted to men who are competent and have a sense of purpose. She emphasizes that competence is attractive and that both men and women should strive to be competent in their pursuits.

Codie also discusses the challenges that women face when their children no longer need them as much and their husbands continue to progress in their careers. She predicts that there may be a rise in the use of prescription pills and other substances among women in this situation, as they struggle to find their place in society. She suggests that in the past, women would have lived in pan-generational houses, where they would have assisted in raising their extended family's children. However, in the modern world, this support system is often lacking.

The conversation then delves into the evolutionary psychology explanation for menopause, known as the grandmother hypothesis. This hypothesis suggests that women continue to live beyond their reproductive years to assist in the rearing of their grandchildren and other children in their community. Codie finds this explanation fascinating and believes that it highlights the importance of women's roles beyond their reproductive capabilities.

In terms of advice for men who are attracted to competent and driven women, Codie suggests that confidence is key. She believes that being confident and having an "IT factor" can be more attractive than physical appearance or wealth. She also mentions that women are attracted to men who are courageous and willing to take action. Small acts of kindness and the ability to make things happen are qualities that women find appealing.

For women who are looking for competent partners, Codie advises focusing on self-improvement and becoming someone worth finding. She believes that finding the right person is not just a numbers game but a daily pursuit of becoming the best version of oneself. She encourages women to develop their own obsessions and passions, as this will make them more interesting and attractive to others.

The conversation then shifts to the advice Codie has received from billionaires. She shares a story about a billionaire who had dinner with Warren Buffett and expected to ask him numerous questions. However, he was surprised to find that Buffett spent the entire dinner asking him questions instead. Codie explains that the smartest and richest people she knows ask the most questions and focus on collecting knowledge, as they understand that having a wealth of knowledge gives them a significant advantage.

The topic of ethics in the billionaire class is also discussed. Codie acknowledges that there are billionaires who have done horrible things, but she believes that, in general, the more people have and have created, the more giving and generous they become. She suggests that giving to others who are also givers can create a positive cycle of generosity and benefit both parties involved. Codie also mentions that the more money someone has, the more they can bend their environment to their will, which can lead to a loss of touch with reality and potentially negative decision-making.

The conversation then delves into the concept of original thinking and the importance of vulnerability. Codie emphasizes that people are drawn to others who have vulnerabilities and flaws because it humanizes them. She encourages individuals to wear their weaknesses on their sleeve and be open about their struggles, as it allows others to connect with them on a deeper level. Codie believes that vulnerability is a key component of building strong relationships and connections.

The discussion then turns to the Logan Paul vs. Dillon Danis feud and the role of social media in fueling conflicts. Codie expresses her fascination with the drama surrounding the feud but also acknowledges that it can go too far. She highlights the impact that such conflicts can have on individuals involved, particularly in personal relationships. Codie questions the value of continuing to engage with someone who has crossed certain boundaries and suggests that sometimes it may be better to disengage and protect one's reputation.

The conversation concludes with a reflection on the negative effects of consuming certain types of content. Codie emphasizes the importance of being mindful of the content we consume and how it affects our mental state. She encourages individuals to evaluate how they feel after consuming certain content and to be selective about what they allow into their minds. Codie uses the analogy of renting out one's attention to emphasize the value of protecting one's mental space.