Nicole Avant On The Hardest Day of Her Life: “It was traumatic…”

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Added: Oct 23, 2023

In this podcast episode, Jay Shetty interviews Nicole Avant, a filmmaker, activist, and former US ambassador, about her new book "Think You'll Be Happy: Moving Through Grief with Grit, Grace, and Gratitude." The book explores Avant's personal journey of grief and loss after her mother was tragically shot and killed.

Avant begins by recounting the moment she received the devastating news from her husband. She describes the shock and disbelief she felt, as everything she had known for 53 years was suddenly pulled out from under her. She shares how she immediately went into survival mode, focusing on taking care of her father and handling the practicalities of the situation.

Avant emphasizes the importance of honoring the people we love and remembering the lessons they taught us. She believes that by sharing their blessings and continuing their legacy, we can keep their memory alive. Avant shares how she found healing through rituals, such as listening to her mother's favorite music and surrounding herself with things that reminded her of her mother.

She also discusses the power of choice and the role of faith in her healing process. She explains that she chose to strengthen her faith rather than abandon it, as she believes in a higher power and the concept of free will. Avant acknowledges that tragedy and trials happen to everyone, but it is our choice how we respond to them. She emphasizes the importance of not becoming bitter and choosing forgiveness instead.

Throughout the interview, she shares personal anecdotes and insights from her own journey of grief. She encourages listeners to live a full and significant life in honor of their loved ones, regardless of the circumstances. Avant believes that we all have the power to choose how we want to show up in the world and that our actions can have a positive impact on others.

The interview continues with Avant expressing her gratitude for the support she received during her grieving process and her hope that her book will help others navigate their own journeys of grief. She encourages listeners to embrace their emotions, seek support, and find healing in their own unique ways.

Avant continues by describing the shock and trauma she experienced when she received the news of her mother's death. She explains that it was a life-altering moment that completely shattered her world. She recalls the difficulty of accepting the reality of her mother's absence and the overwhelming grief that followed.

She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and embracing the grief that comes with losing a loved one. She explains that grief is a receipt of love and a testament to the deep connection and bond that existed. Avant shares how she shifted her perspective from focusing on the end and the tragedy to celebrating her mother's beautiful life and the impact she had on others.

Avant also discusses the challenges of navigating grief while dealing with the additional burden of seeking justice for her mother's death. She shares how she had to find a balance between honoring her mother's memory and ensuring that no other family would have to go through a similar tragedy. Her father played a significant role in helping her shift her focus from seeking revenge to making a positive difference in the world.

Throughout her journey, Avant emphasizes the importance of having a support system and surrounding oneself with loved ones who can provide comfort and understanding. She talks about the commitment she made with her husband to stick together and support each other through the pain and challenges of grief.

She also discusses the role of nature in her healing process. She found solace in observing the cycles of life and the beauty of nature, particularly sunsets. She realized that just as the sun rises again after setting, she too would find the strength to rise again.

The interview delves into the lessons Avant learned from her parents and how they prepared her for the difficult times she would face. She shares how her father's teachings about the importance of using freedom wisely and her mother's emphasis on being good and doing good guided her through her grief journey.

She also opens up about the ongoing process of healing and repair. Avant acknowledges that there are still moments when she feels overwhelmed with sadness and grief, but she has learned to embrace those emotions and allow herself to cry as a way of releasing and processing her feelings.

The interview concludes with a discussion about the power of choice and the importance of choosing gratitude, grace, and grit in the face of adversity. Avant shares how she found strength in choosing to be glad and rejoice in the midst of her pain and how she relied on her faith to guide her through the darkest moments.

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