Elliot Page Gets Candid About His Transition Journey ”I was struggling to live life”

Added: Oct 24, 2023

Page explains that a significant part of his struggle was feeling uncomfortable and disconnected from himself while on set or in his trailer. He describes the intense desire to tear his skin off and the difficulty he had in envisioning a future where he could feel at peace in his day-to-day life. He mentions how people often told him that his dreams were coming true, but he couldn't see it because he didn't know how much longer he could endure feeling that way.

The conversation then shifts to the structure of Page's memoir, which he intentionally chose to be non-linear. He explains that this reflects the trans and queer experience, as well as the journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Page shares that he enjoys non-linear books because they allow different themes, emotions, and histories to collide, which he finds exciting.

The host asks Page about his exploration of memory while writing the memoir. Page reveals that many of the stories and moments he chose to include were ones that had always been vibrating under the surface of his consciousness. He describes the process of writing as organic, where he would think of a period or a relationship that could speak to many things during that time and then mold the narrative around it. He also mentions the therapeutic element of writing, as it allowed him to confront and sit with certain memories and experiences that he had swept under the rug.

The conversation then delves into the topic of memory and how it can be both beautiful and unreliable. Page shares that his memories were often based on pictures, where he would see himself rather than having a direct memory of the event. He reflects on the difference between knowing and feeling, stating that knowing is a deep, visceral, and grounded feeling. He recalls how he had always known his true identity from a young age, but it took time for him to fully embrace and express it.

Page discusses how his transition has allowed him to live the way he has always wanted to and be perceived as he has always perceived himself. He expresses gratitude for being able to exist in a way that he never thought possible. He acknowledges that he still has difficult days and moments of anxiety, but overall, it has been a complete game-changer for him.

The conversation then turns to Page's relationship with acting and how it has changed since his transition. He explains that everything in his life has improved because he now feels more grounded and present. He shares that he used to struggle to function on a basic level and that acting felt uncomfortable and forced. However, now that he feels more connected to himself, acting has become a more enjoyable and authentic experience. He emphasizes the importance of being present and open in acting, as it allows for a deeper connection to the character and the story.

The host asks Page about the future and what his thoughts about it were before his transition. Page explains that he couldn't see a future where he could feel happy and fulfilled because he didn't know how much longer he could endure feeling disconnected from himself. However, now that he is living authentically, the future feels full of possibilities and joy.

The conversation then shifts to the topic of parenting and how parents can better support their children on their own journeys of self-discovery. Page emphasizes the importance of listening to children, not dismissing their feelings, and creating a safe space for them to explore their identities. He encourages parents to educate themselves about transgender experiences and to seek information from reliable sources.

Page also addresses some of the misinformation and lies surrounding transgender healthcare. He dispels the myth that children's bodies are being mutilated and clarifies that the process of transitioning is a thorough and patient one that involves the child, their parents, and medical professionals. He emphasizes that transgender individuals often face difficulties in accessing healthcare and that the care provided is supported by major medical institutions.

The conversation continues with Page discussing the role of trans men in the conversation around masculinity. He believes that trans men can offer a different perspective and insight into masculinity, drawing from their own experiences of being perceived as not men and then transitioning. He hopes that trans men can contribute to challenging toxic masculinity and encouraging emotional expression and vulnerability among cisgender men.

Page reflects on the emotional and psychological impact of his transition, highlighting the significance of finding support and understanding from loved ones. He emphasizes the importance of empathy and compassion in creating a safe and inclusive environment for transgender individuals.

The guest also delves into the societal pressures and expectations placed on individuals based on their gender identity. He discusses the limitations and stereotypes that exist, particularly for men, and how these can hinder emotional expression and self-acceptance. Page shares his own experiences of navigating these challenges and the growth he has experienced as a result.

Throughout the conversation, Page emphasizes the importance of representation and visibility for the transgender community. He discusses the impact of his own coming out and the positive responses he has received from individuals who have felt less alone as a result of his story. Page acknowledges the privilege he has as a public figure and highlights the disparities and struggles faced by many transgender individuals, particularly those from marginalized communities.

The guest also touches on the topic of eating disorders within the transgender and gender non-conforming community. He acknowledges the higher prevalence of eating disorders among this population and attributes it to a desire for control and a means of coping with body dysphoria. Page emphasizes the need for support and understanding in addressing these complex issues.

Page shares his personal growth and transformation throughout his journey, particularly in relation to love and relationships. He discusses the shift in his perspective on love, moving away from seeking validation and finding happiness within himself. He emphasizes the importance of self-love and being comfortable with being alone.

The guest also discusses the unique challenges of transitioning in the public eye. He reflects on the scrutiny and judgment he has faced and the impact it has had on his mental health. Page acknowledges his privilege and resources, which have provided him with a level of protection and support that many transgender individuals do not have access to.

Page's passion for history is also mentioned, and he shares some of the books he has been reading recently. He discusses the power of storytelling and how it can help foster empathy and understanding. Page reflects on the importance of diverse narratives and the impact they can have on personal growth and expanding one's perspective.

The podcast concludes with a final five segment, where Page shares the best advice he has received, which is to not let others change him. The worst advice he has received is to hide his queerness. Something he used to value but no longer does is societal ideas of success and something he is currently trying to learn is letting go of shame. The one law he would like to create is one that outlaws bullying.