Coleman Ruiz: Overcoming Physical & Emotional Challenges

Added: Apr 8, 2024

Wrestling as a Channel for Transformation

Ruiz found solace and discipline in wrestling, which became a pivotal point in his life. He excelled in the sport, and it helped him channel his wild tendencies into a structured and respectful environment. Wrestling not only improved his grades but also instilled a sense of respect and discipline in him. He found joy in the physicality and camaraderie of combat sports, where mutual respect among competitors was paramount.

Wrestling became Ruiz's passion, and he dedicated himself to the sport throughout high school. His success in wrestling opened doors for him, including an opportunity to attend the Naval Academy. Despite the challenges he faced in his personal life, wrestling provided him with a sense of purpose and direction.

Family Challenges and Escape to the Naval Academy

Ruiz's parents' divorce during his senior year of high school was a shock to him. While his older sister was prepared for it, Ruiz saw it as an opportunity to escape the turmoil and start a new chapter in his life. The Naval Academy represented a fresh start and a chance to leave behind the chaos of his family situation. It was a way for him to focus on his own future and pursue his dreams.

Life at the Naval Academy

Upon arriving at the Naval Academy, Ruiz is struck by the size and significance of the institution. He recalls a formative experience where he meets a senior wrestler named Doug, who becomes a mentor and role model for him. Ruiz admires Doug's physical and mental toughness, considering him a legend and a source of inspiration. He also meets his future wife, a talented swimmer, during his sophomore year at the Naval Academy. He describes her as driven, smart, and successful, with a different approach to achieving goals compared to his own. Despite their differences, they form a strong bond and eventually pursue careers in the military.

Throughout his time at the Naval Academy, Ruiz's focus remains on the present moment and the immediate task at hand. He prioritizes the people around him and the mission at hand, striving to meet the standards set by his mentors and teammates. This narrow focus drives his actions and decisions, leading to a sense of purpose and direction in his life.

Ruiz acknowledges that during his time at the Naval Academy, there was a lack of emphasis on self-care and introspection. He was fully immersed in the rigorous training and academic requirements, with little time for personal reflection or relaxation. This intense focus on external goals and achievements overshadowed any consideration of his own well-being. He admits that fear played a significant role in his approach to life at the Naval Academy. He constantly felt the need to prove himself and earn his place among his peers. This fear-driven mindset fueled his determination and work ethic, pushing him to excel in his academic and athletic pursuits.

Becoming a SEAL

Ruiz initially thought he would join the Marine Corps like his wrestling partner, but after a summer training in Quantico, he decided to pursue a spot in the SEAL Teams. he was drawn to the physical and mental challenges of the SEAL Teams and felt a sense of purpose and belonging in that environment.

He successfully completed the grueling Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL (BUD/S) training, which includes Hell Week, a five-day period of intense physical and mental challenges. He attributes his success in BUD/S to three factors: being a varsity athlete, having divorced parents, and getting suspended from school. These experiences instilled in him a sense of rebellion against authority and a strong determination to succeed.

After completing BUD/S, Ruiz joined the SEAL Teams and went on multiple deployments. Eventually, he was called to try out for a tier one special mission unit within the SEAL Teams. Tier one units are highly specialized and handle the most sensitive and critical missions. He saw this as an opportunity to take his career to the next level and challenge himself even further.

Transition to Tier One Operations

Ruiz explains the difference between his previous experiences at Team Three and the specialized operations at the command. He highlights the intense nature of the training and operations at the command, where missions are high-risk and high-consequence. The level of training and preparation required for Tier One operations is significantly more advanced, with tasks such as military freefall jumps from 25,000 feet in complete darkness and extreme conditions. Hereflects on the mindset required to excel in such operations and the level of focus and dedication needed to succeed in this environment.

Camaraderie in SEAL Teams

While patriotism is important in the military, Ruiz emphasizes the significance of team dynamics and the sense of camaraderie within the SEAL Teams. He values the bond he shares with his teammates and the trust they have in each other during high-risk missions. He also highlights the importance of mentorship from experienced veterans in shaping his perspective on the job and the sacrifices required in the line of duty.

Challenges and Growth

Throughout his time in the SEAL Teams, Ruiz faced numerous challenges, both physically and mentally. He learned to adapt to unpredictable situations and make split-second decisions in high-pressure environments. The experience taught him the value of resilience, teamwork, and a strong sense of purpose in overcoming obstacles and achieving success.

Dealing with Loss and Tragedy

Throughout his time in the military, Ruiz experienced the loss of over 40 close teammates, each death taking a toll on him and his colleagues. He shares the emotional impact of losing friends and fellow soldiers in combat and the challenges of coping with the aftermath of such tragedies. He describes the process of attending funerals and memorials, supporting the families of fallen soldiers, and the toll it takes on him personally.

As Ruiz navigates the challenges of military life and the loss of close friends, he grapples with his own mortality and the impact of his experiences on his family. He acknowledges the support of his wife, Bridget, and the importance of having a strong support system to cope with the emotional and psychological toll of his work. Ruiz reflects on the adaptive but maladaptive behaviors that are ingrained in military training and the need to find a balance between staying focused on the mission and prioritizing personal well-being. He shares his compassion for individuals on all sides of conflicts and the understanding that each person believes they are doing what is right for themselves and their families.

Parenting and Family Life

Ruiz expresses pride in his three sons and the way they have grown and thrived in the face of adversity. He credits his wife, Bridget, for her strength and support in raising their children and creating a stable and loving home environment. Ruiz reflects on the importance of family and the role it plays in providing a sense of purpose and grounding in the midst of the chaos and uncertainty of military life. He acknowledges the sacrifices made by military families and the resilience they demonstrate in the face of challenges.

Transitioning from Military to Civilian Life

After serving in the military for several years, Ruiz decided to leave at the 13-year mark in 2011. He describes the process as a snap decision, where he turned in his gear and badge and suddenly found himself feeling lost and disconnected from the military community. Despite the challenges of adjusting to civilian life, Ruiz found comfort in the routine of home life with his wife and children.

Ruiz references Joseph Campbell's book, "The Hero with a Thousand Faces," which outlines the 17 stages of the hero's journey. He explains how he felt stuck in the return stages of the journey, struggling to find a mentor to help him navigate the transition back to the ordinary world. Through various forms of therapy, reading, and self-education, he began to seek a deeper understanding of his experiences and emotions.

Exploring Alternative Healing Methods

Seeking relief from the emotional and psychological toll of his military service, Ruiz turned to alternative healing methods such as craniosacral therapy and mindfulness practices. He also delved into the teachings of authors like Sam Harris and Robert Wright to gain a better understanding of his internal struggles. Eventually, he decided to explore the world of psychedelics in a controlled and curated environment.

Ruiz describes his experience with ibogaine DMT as profound and transformative. He felt a deep connection to warrior cultures throughout history and experienced a powerful visual journey during the session. The experience left him feeling uplifted and connected to a greater sense of purpose and understanding.

Dealing With Depression

Despite the initial positive effects of the psychedelic experience, Ruiz later experienced a significant downturn in his mental health. He shares his personal journey through a difficult period of depression and mental health struggles. He opens up about his experience with severe depression, reaching a point where he contemplated taking his own life. He describes the intense emotional and physical pain he experienced during this time, feeling like he was fundamentally flawed and struggling to see a way out.

Despite his resistance, Ruiz eventually sought help through talk therapy with a skilled clinician. He acknowledges the importance of reaching out for support and the impact of having a therapist to talk to about his past, present, and future. He reflects on how difficult it was for him to accept help, especially as someone used to leading and protecting others in his role as a commander. He also discusses his experience with taking a low dose of Wellbutrin, a medication that helped stabilize his mood and provide some relief during the challenging period.

The Process of Healing

Through therapy and medication, Ruiz slowly began to put the pieces back together and work through his emotional burdens. He describes the process as gradual, with small gains and improvements over time. He highlights the role of his close friends and support network in helping him navigate through the difficult moments and find a path towards healing.

As Ruiz reflects on his journey, he expresses gratitude for the transformation he has undergone. He acknowledges that while the process of healing is ongoing, he feels like a completely different person compared to his darkest moments. He recognizes the importance of sharing his story and encouraging others to seek help and talk about their struggles before reaching a crisis point.

The Hero's Journey

Ruiz discusses the concept of the hero's journey and how hitting rock bottom often serves as a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. He emphasizes the importance of facing challenges head-on and not shying away from difficult experiences. He reflects on the evolution of masculinity and the need for men to embrace a wider range of emotions and behaviors. He emphasizes the importance of having a diverse set of tools in one's toolbox, including toughness, kindness, and resilience. He challenges traditional notions of masculinity and encourages men to explore different aspects of themselves to become more complete individuals.

Life in the Ordinary World

Ruiz talks about his current role as the Chief Operating Officer a large sports retailer in North America. He shares how he has found a sense of balance and fulfillment in his work and personal life, despite the challenges he continues to face. He acknowledges that life is not always easy, but he has learned to manage his time and relationships in a healthier way.

Mentorship and Growth

Ruiz expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share his experiences and mentor others through his journey of healing and self-discovery. He acknowledges the importance of stepping out of one's comfort zone and facing fears in order to grow and evolve. He emphasizes the value of vulnerability and authenticity in connecting with others and finding support along the way.

Ruiz looks ahead to the future, acknowledging that the journey of healing and self-discovery is ongoing. He expresses a sense of optimism and contentment with where he is at in life, recognizing the importance of self-care, resilience, and personal growth. He plans to continue his work and personal development, embracing the challenges and opportunities that come his way.