Former Spy: How To Live Life On Your Own Terms

Added: Nov 6, 2023

Parrish begins by stating that he doesn't know what the future holds or what tomorrow will bring, but he believes in positioning himself to be prepared for different outcomes. He suggests narrowing down priorities to two or three key areas and ensuring that these priorities are reflected in one's calendar. He emphasizes the importance of building and maintaining relationships, as they play a significant role in overall success and happiness.

The concept of high performance is discussed, and Parrish defines it as being the best version of oneself. He explains that achieving high performance requires conscious effort and taking care of oneself by getting enough sleep, eating well, and investing in relationships. He highlights the importance of these basic actions in putting oneself in the best position to succeed.

Parrish introduces the idea of playing life on "easy mode" or "hard mode." Easy mode refers to positioning oneself in a way that makes life easier and allows for high performance, while hard mode represents a more challenging and less optimal position. He explains that by taking care of oneself and making conscious choices, one can play on easy mode and increase the likelihood of success.

The conversation then shifts to the concept of clear thinking, which Parrish explains is not just about thinking right but also about positioning oneself for clear thinking. He identifies three components of clear thinking: positioning, managing defaults, and thinking independently. Positioning involves consciously putting oneself in the best position for clear thinking, while managing defaults refers to being aware of the default behaviors and biases that can hinder clear thinking. Thinking independently involves challenging one's own thoughts and considering different perspectives.

Parrish discusses four default behaviors that can impact decision-making: emotion, ego, social, and inertia. Emotion can lead to fear and prevent one from taking necessary risks. Ego can make one resistant to new ideas and prevent effective collaboration. Social pressures can lead to conformity and prevent independent thinking. Inertia refers to staying in familiar patterns and routines, even if they are not serving one's best interests.

To overcome these defaults, Parrish suggests creating rules for oneself. He gives examples of rules he has implemented in his own life, such as not saying yes to requests on the phone and going to the gym every day. By creating rules, one can bypass the need for willpower and make better decisions consistently.

The podcast also touches on the importance of ordinary moments in life. Parrish references an interview with Carl Pilmer, who interviewed people near death and found that they emphasized the importance of playing one's own game, spending time with loved ones, and investing in relationships. Parrish emphasizes that these ordinary moments, such as interactions with family and friends, are often overlooked but can have a significant impact on overall happiness and fulfillment.

Parrish explains that when we have too many priorities, everything becomes a priority and nothing gets the attention it deserves. This leads to feelings of being overwhelmed and unfulfilled. He suggests narrowing down our priorities to two or three key areas and allocating our time accordingly. He emphasizes the importance of building and maintaining relationships, and advises listeners to show their priorities through their calendars.

Parrish shares his personal experience of working at an intelligence agency and sacrificing his health and well-being in order to give his all to his job. He realized that he couldn't continue on this path and decided to make a change. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and being conscious of our own contributions to our situations. He encourages listeners to reflect on what truly matters to them and to allocate their time and energy accordingly.

Parrish also discusses the concept of positioning oneself for success. He explains that the best in the world are not necessarily smarter or more talented than the rest of us, but they are skilled at positioning themselves in a way that allows them to make better decisions and take advantage of opportunities. He encourages listeners to think about how they can position themselves for multiple possible futures and to focus on playing offense rather than being reactive to circumstances.

Parrish also addresses the fear of failure and success. He explains that many people are scared to commit to their goals and dreams because they fear both failure and success. He encourages listeners to have the confidence to take the next step, rather than focusing on the ultimate destination. He shares a personal story of his son cliff jumping and how changing his perspective and focusing on the next step helped him overcome his fear.

In terms of practical advice, Parrish suggests taking small steps and casting a wide net to see what works and what doesn't. He advises listeners to identify one thing they can do today to put themselves in a better position for success. He also emphasizes the importance of self-accountability and going all in on the things that truly matter to us.

Parrish concludes the podcast by discussing the concept of memento mori, which reminds us that life is short and we should make the most of it. He encourages listeners to live their lives in a way that aligns with their values and to not be afraid to take risks and make changes.