Declutter Your Life & End Anxiety! - Become The Person You've Always Wanted To Be | Mel Robbins

Added: Mar 2, 2024

Implementing the High Five Habit

Robbins shares her personal experience of implementing the high five habit in her daily routine. She describes how the simple act of high-fiving herself in the mirror led to a profound shift in her mindset. Instead of focusing on self-criticism and negative thoughts, she began to feel a sense of excitement and anticipation about seeing herself each morning. This shift in perspective allowed her to develop a sense of self-compassion and self-support that she had previously been lacking.

The host, Rangan Chatterjee, reflects on his own experience with the high five habit, noting that it requires an intentional pause and a moment of self-reflection. He acknowledges that while he already feels self-compassion, the high five habit still had a powerful impact on him. By taking a moment to look at himself in the mirror and physically high-fiving himself, he felt a sense of validation and encouragement that set a positive tone for the rest of his day.

The Neuroscience Behind the High Five Habit

The conversation delves into the neuroscientific basis of the high five habit, explaining how the brain responds to physical gestures of encouragement and celebration. Robbins highlights the role of dopamine in the brain, which is released when someone receives a high five. By high-fiving oneself, individuals can trigger the same neural pathways associated with positive reinforcement and encouragement, leading to a boost in mood and self-esteem.

The Impact of the High Five Habit

The discussion also touches on the concept of gratitude and how the high five habit can be seen as a form of self-gratitude. By acknowledging and celebrating oneself in the mirror, individuals are practicing self-love and self-acceptance, which can have a transformative effect on their overall well-being.

Robbins emphasizes that the high five habit is not about changing external circumstances or life situations. Instead, it is about changing one's relationship with oneself and developing a sense of self-worth and self-respect. She notes that the high five habit can be a powerful tool for individuals from all walks of life, regardless of their financial status or life circumstances.

Chatterjee draws parallels between the high five habit and other positive habits that he has promoted in his work, such as journaling. He highlights the importance of small daily habits that can have a significant impact on mental health and well-being. By incorporating the high five habit into one's daily routine, individuals can cultivate a sense of self-compassion and self-support that can help them navigate life's challenges with resilience and positivity.

Mindfulness and its Benefits

Robbins emphasizes the power of mindfulness in staying present and observing one's thoughts without judgment. She describes mindfulness as a spotlight that allows individuals to choose which thoughts to focus on and which ones to let go. By practicing mindfulness, one can develop the mental muscle to make conscious choices and navigate the space between urge and action. Chatterjee adds that mindfulness helps individuals stay grounded and focused, enabling them to make decisions with clarity and intention.

Journaling for Self-Reflection

Chatterjee introduces the concept of journaling as a tool for self-reflection and personal growth. She highlights the importance of asking oneself the right questions to gain deeper insights and understanding. She has created a journal called the three question journal, which consists of three powerful questions that can be answered each morning and evening. These questions have been tested with her patients and have shown significant impact in just a few minutes a day. Robbins acknowledges the effectiveness of journaling in helping individuals get to know themselves better and recommends finding the right method that works for each person.

Navigating Failure and Building Resilience

Both Robbins and Chatterjee discuss the significance of failure in the learning process and personal growth. Robbins highlights the cultural stigma around failure and the impact it can have on individuals' willingness to take risks and pursue growth opportunities. Chatterjee emphasizes the importance of developing a healthy relationship with failure, recognizing it as a natural part of the journey towards success. They both stress the need to embrace failure as a learning experience and a stepping stone towards resilience and personal development.

Maintaining Work-Life Balance

They touch upon the challenges of maintaining work-life balance, especially in the face of sudden success or increased responsibilities. They emphasize the importance of constant reevaluation and readjustment to ensure that one's priorities align with their values and well-being. Both speakers share personal experiences of finding balance amidst professional achievements and family commitments, highlighting the grounding influence of personal relationships and self-awareness.

The Power of Breathwork

Chatterjee discusses the importance of resilience and how it can be cultivated through daily practices. He emphasizes the power of breathwork in managing stress and anxiety, drawing from his own experience as a neurosurgeon. By focusing on intentional breathing, individuals can calm their minds and make better decisions in high-pressure situations.

Interaction with Cancer Patients

He also shares lessons she has learned from her interactions with cancer patients. He highlights the resilience and optimism displayed by these individuals facing life-threatening illnesses. By compartmentalizing difficult moments and focusing on living fully in between, cancer patients demonstrate a profound understanding of the seasons of life.

Chatterjee encourages listeners to approach life with purpose and mindfulness, drawing inspiration from the structured approach of cancer patients facing regular scans. By acknowledging and preparing for challenging moments, individuals can navigate them more effectively and make the most of the time in between.

Understanding the Illusion of Control

Chatterjee emphasizes the importance of recognizing the illusion of control that many people fall into. He explains that our brains often create scenarios and future outcomes that we try to avoid, leading to unnecessary stress and anxiety. By understanding that we are the ones generating these illusions and reactions, we can start to break free from the cycle of self-inflicted suffering.

The Path to Freedom

Robbins expands on the idea of freedom, stating that true freedom comes from a deep sense of trust in the universe and surrendering to the flow of life. She highlights the importance of letting go of the need to control external circumstances and finding peace within ourselves, regardless of what is happening around us. This shift in perspective allows individuals to experience a profound sense of calm and acceptance.

Challenging Beliefs and Finding Inner Peace

The conversation also touches on the common patterns that arise in relationships, often stemming from past traumas and unresolved issues. Robbins explains that relationships serve as a mirror, reflecting back to us the areas where we still carry emotional baggage from our past. By viewing relationships as opportunities for growth and self-discovery, individuals can work through their inner struggles and find a sense of inner peace.

Taking Ownership of Your Life

Both Robbins and Chatterjee stress the importance of taking ownership of one's life and emotions. Instead of placing blame on external factors or other people for our unhappiness, it is crucial to recognize that we are the ones creating our own experiences. By shifting our mindset and understanding that we have the power to choose how we react to situations, we can break free from the victim mentality and step into our own power.

Empowerment Through Self-Awareness

Ultimately, the key to personal growth and freedom lies in self-awareness and self-acceptance. By acknowledging our past traumas, challenging our beliefs, and taking responsibility for our emotions, we can pave the way for a more fulfilling and empowered life. Through this journey of self-discovery and inner work, individuals can find true liberation and peace within themselves.

The Concept of Identity

Robbins continues by discussing the concept of identity and how it can be both empowering and limiting. She explains that when individuals become too attached to a specific identity, they may feel constrained by societal expectations and struggle to fully express themselves. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a constant need for validation from others.

By letting go of limiting beliefs and societal expectations, individuals can experience greater freedom and authenticity in their lives. This shift in perspective can lead to improved mental and physical health, as individuals are able to release the stress and tension associated with maintaining a fixed identity.

The Impact of Stress on the Body

Moving on to the topic of stress, Chatterjee emphasizes the connection between psychological stress and physical health. He explains that chronic stress can trigger the release of stress hormones such as cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, which can have detrimental effects on the body over time. This constant state of stress can compromise the body's ability to rejuvenate and repair itself, ultimately leading to the development of various diseases.

The Importance of Self-Acceptance

Throughout the conversation, Robbins emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and compassion towards oneself. She encourages individuals to acknowledge their vulnerabilities and insecurities without judgment, recognizing that these aspects of themselves are a natural part of being human. By cultivating self-compassion and letting go of the need for external validation, individuals can experience greater inner peace and fulfillment.

Anxiety and Breathing Techniques

Robbins explains the concept of anxiety as a normal phenomenon that is the brain's way of preparing us to deal with potential threats. She emphasizes the importance of understanding that anxiety is a natural response and not a sign of brokenness. By reframing anxiety as a normal response, individuals can feel empowered to address it effectively.

Chatterjee highlights the role of the autonomic nervous system in regulating our body's functions and how breathing can influence the balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. By practicing intentional breathing, such as inhaling for four seconds and exhaling for six seconds, individuals can shift their body's response away from fight or flight mode towards a calmer state.

They emphasize the importance of integrating breath work into exercise routines, such as yoga and weightlifting, to enhance performance and promote relaxation. By paying attention to their breath, individuals can improve their movement patterns and optimize their workouts for better results.

Creating Healthy Habits Through Breath Awareness

Chatterjee and Robbins stress the importance of developing healthy habits through breath awareness. They suggest incorporating breath work into daily routines, such as walking to work or taking the stairs, to make exercise a natural part of life. By making breathing a conscious practice, individuals can improve their overall health and well-being while combating the negative effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

Lessons From Traditional Lifestyles

Chatterjee reflects on his experience living with a group of hunter-gatherers in Kenya and witnessing their exceptional health and well-being. Despite living without modern amenities, these individuals exhibited remarkable physical health and mental resilience. The discussion highlights the importance of considering the lessons that can be learned from traditional lifestyles and applying them to our modern society.

The Evolutionary Mismatch

The conversation then shifts to the concept of an evolutionary mismatch between our genes and the modern environment. Chatterjee explains how our biological instincts, such as craving high-calorie foods, were beneficial in ancestral times when food scarcity was a real threat. However, in today's world of abundance, these instincts can lead to health issues like obesity and diabetes.

The Power of Mindfulness and Self-Reflection

The conversation delves into the benefits of mindfulness and self-reflection in promoting personal growth and well-being. Robbins shares his own journey of self-discovery and how breath work has helped her gain a deeper understanding of herself and her reactions to external stimuli. By practicing mindfulness and self-reflection, individuals can cultivate compassion, awareness, and resilience in the face of life's challenges.