The Pain of Losing My Daughter Made Me a Better Man - Ashley Cain Tells His Story

Added: Oct 10, 2023

Cain then delves into his early football career, starting at the age of four and quickly showing promise as a talented athlete. He talks about his natural athleticism and his ability to excel in both football and athletics. However, he also discusses the numerous injuries he suffered, including a broken ankle, torn Achilles, and multiple surgeries, which ultimately led to the end of his football career at a young age.

The guest also opens up about a personal experience he had at the age of 14, when he lost one of his testicles due to a condition called torsion. He shares the embarrassment and shame he felt at the time, but also reflects on how this experience shaped his resilience and toughness.

Cain then discusses his struggles with alcohol and the turning point he reached when he realized that he was not living up to the promises he made to himself and his late daughter. He talks about the importance of honesty and accountability in his journey towards becoming a better person.

The guest also shares a regret he has from his football career, specifically a missed opportunity to score a goal during his debut match. He explains how he allowed the advice of his coaches to influence his decision-making, and how this experience taught him the importance of making his own choices and taking responsibility for the outcomes.

Cain then discusses his participation in the reality TV show SAS: Who Dares Wins, which he undertook shortly after losing his daughter. He explains that he wanted to test his capabilities and prove to himself that he could overcome challenges even in his most vulnerable state. He emphasizes the importance of surrounding himself with people and pushing himself to achieve his goals.

Throughout the podcast, Cain repeatedly emphasizes the impact that his daughter had on his life and the lessons he learned from her. He describes her as his source of redemption and inspiration, and credits her with giving him a new perspective on life. He also discusses the pain and heartbreak he experienced during her illness and passing, and how it motivated him to become a better person.

Cain continues by discussing his book, which he wrote to share his journey and inspire others. He explains that the book is a memoir that highlights the strength, resilience, and hope he gained from his daughter. He encourages readers to find strength and perspective in their own lives, and to overcome the challenges that hold them back.

Cain continues by discussing his background and how he grew up in a tough environment. He talks about the trauma of losing a child and the impact it had on him. He explains that during this time, he was in a dark place and felt isolated from the world.

Cain reflects on his experience on a reality TV show and how it helped him gain recognition and build resilience. He believes that he was the strongest contestant on the show and that his story inspired others. However, he also talks about the challenges he faced during the show, particularly during a 15-hour interrogation where he was subjected to uncomfortable sounds.

Despite his success on the show, Cain realizes that he was not truly happy and fulfilled. He acknowledges that he was living a superficial lifestyle and lacked direction in his life. He credits his father for instilling in him a drive to always strive for more and never settle for mediocrity.

After his reality TV stint, Cain found himself lost and unsure of his purpose. He shares how he started a business selling nicotine-free alcohol-flavored e-cigarettes for clubs, which became successful. However, he still felt unfulfilled and knew that he needed to make a change.

Cain's life took a dramatic turn when he met his partner, Safiyya, and they decided to start a family. He expresses his excitement and joy at becoming a father and how it was everything he had ever wanted. However, their happiness was short-lived when their daughter, Azaylia, was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of leukemia.

Cain describes the pain and fear he felt upon receiving the devastating news. He talks about the intense treatments and procedures Azaylia had to undergo and how he and Safiyya made a conscious decision to create a positive and loving environment for their daughter. They vowed to be strong and positive for her, no matter how scared or broken they felt inside.

Despite the immense challenges they faced, Cain found strength and inspiration in his daughter. He shares how Azaylia's resilience and bravery taught him the true meaning of strength and courage. He describes her as a beacon of light and love, and credits her for making his life better during the eight months they had together.

Cain explains that losing Azaylia has shattered his heart, but it has also filled it with an immense amount of love. He believes that he has a responsibility to honor her memory by being the best person he can be and helping others. He expresses his determination to make a positive impact in the world and to never let her passing be in vain.

Cain explains that after the second round of chemotherapy, Azaylia relapsed quickly, leading doctors to realize that chemotherapy alone would not be enough. They determined that she needed a stem cell transplant, but due to her ethnic mix, finding a match seemed unlikely. Cain launched an outreach campaign, and within a weekend, 880,000 people applied to be Azaylia's match. Eventually, they found a cord match and proceeded with the transplant.

Despite initial doubts, Azaylia successfully engrafted within three weeks and showed no side effects or graft-versus-host disease. Cain describes his daughter as a strong fighter who defied the odds at every turn. However, their joy was short-lived when they discovered tumors in Azaylia's brain, lungs, kidneys, stomach, and spleen. The doctors informed them that there was nothing more they could do and suggested taking Azaylia home for end-of-life care.

Cain and his partner, Safiyya, refused to accept this and fought for more treatment options. They found a targeted chemotherapy called CAR-T therapy in Singapore, but the clinic did not accept children under the age of two. Determined to save his daughter, Cain decided to become her donor and traveled to Singapore. The logistics of traveling during the pandemic were challenging, but they managed to secure the treatment.

However, their hopes were shattered when they discovered that Azaylia had tumors on her brain and could not fly. The doctors informed them that there was nothing more they could do, and Cain had to come to terms with the fact that his daughter's time was limited. He describes the immense pain and grief he felt, but also the relief that Azaylia would no longer suffer.

Cain reflects on the profound impact his daughter had on his life and the promises he made to her. He shares his belief in daily humbling, which involves pushing oneself outside of their comfort zone to appreciate what they have. Cain explains that his extreme physical challenges, such as running marathons and kayaking long distances, keep him grounded and grateful.

He discusses his upcoming plans, including a world-first endurance race and climbing Mount Everest. Cain acknowledges the risks involved in these endeavors but emphasizes that life is unpredictable, and he wants to make the most of his time on Earth. He believes that by pushing himself to the limits, he can honor his daughter's memory and inspire others to overcome their own challenges.

Cain expresses his belief that life is a chance to prove ourselves to a higher power and earn a place in heaven. He sees life as a middle ground between heaven and hell, where we have the opportunity to make a positive difference in the lives of others. He believes that facing challenges and overcoming trauma is necessary for building character and resilience.

Despite the immense pain he has experienced, Cain finds moments of happiness and joy. He explains that he tries to live his life to the fullest and make the most of every day. He acknowledges that he still feels sadness and heartbreak, but he consciously chooses to focus on living the best life he can for himself and for those around him. He finds happiness in connecting with others and making a positive impact on their lives.

When asked about his plans for the future, Cain expresses his desire to leave a legacy and make a significant impact in the world. He wants to raise awareness and funds for childhood cancer, which receives minimal research funding despite being the biggest killer of children in the UK. Cain is determined to change the narrative around childhood cancer and improve the treatments and outcomes for affected children. He also wants to inspire and empower others to overcome their struggles and make a positive impact in the world.

Cain acknowledges the support and love he has received from his family and the community. He credits them for helping him through his journey and giving him the strength to keep going. He expresses his gratitude for the platform provided by the podcast and hopes that his story can help others who may be going through similar struggles.

In terms of advice for those facing challenges, Cain encourages them to find at least 1% of positivity each day. He believes that even if we can't be 100% happy or positive, finding that small percentage can help us get through the difficult times. He emphasizes the importance of showing up and continuing to fight for a better future. Cain also suggests working on oneself and building self-confidence and self-worth before trying to make a positive impact on others. He believes that by becoming a better individual, we can then have a greater impact on the lives of those around us.

Cain concludes by expressing his determination to achieve his goals and make a difference in the world. He wants to conquer physical challenges, raise significant funds for childhood cancer, and inspire others to realize their own strength and potential. He wants to leave a legacy that brings a smile to his family's faces and ensures that he is happy with the impact he has made in the world.