My Life in the LA Triads - Johnny Chang Tells His Story
Added: Dec 27, 2023
The podcast features an interview with Johnny Chang, who grew up in the San Gabriel Valley in Los Angeles, a poverty-stricken area with a mix of Asian and Hispanic residents. He describes his upbringing in a traditional Chinese household with a strict father and a submissive mother. Chang explains that his father was an alcoholic and abusive, which led him to seek refuge in a gang at the age of 12. He joined a gang called "Watching," which was a mix of different Asian and Hispanic gangs in the area.
Joining the Gang and Life in the Gang
Chang describes his early years in the gang as being filled with violence and criminal activities. He explains that he was involved in fights, theft, and even violent acts such as stabbing and shooting at a very young age. He attributes his involvement in the gang to seeking a sense of family and belonging, as well as the allure of money and respect that came with the lifestyle. He also mentions that the gang provided a sense of protection and financial stability, which was lacking in his home environment.
Life in Prison
Chang's involvement in the gang led to his arrest and subsequent incarceration in the California Youth Authority, a facility for juvenile offenders. He describes the harsh and violent environment in the facility, where he witnessed and experienced violence, including fights, stabbings, and even sexual assault. He explains that the experience in the Youth Authority was traumatic and led to a mindset of self-preservation and a hair-trigger mentality to survive.
Chang's second arrest occurred shortly after his release from the Youth Authority, when he was involved in a freeway shooting. He was charged with two counts of assault with a deadly weapon and faced a potential 10-year sentence in an adult prison. He describes feeling a sense of relief when he received the 10-year sentence, as it was less than the initial charges he faced.
Chang's experience in adult prison was daunting, as he was only 16 years old at the time. He explains that he felt a sense of hopelessness and believed that he would likely spend the rest of his life in prison. He adopted a mindset of living on the edge and being prepared to fight and defend himself at all times. He also mentions feeling a sense of abandonment and isolation, as he believed that no one would come to his aid or care about his well-being.
Impact on Family
Chang's involvement in the gang and subsequent incarceration had a significant impact on his family, particularly his mother. He explains that his mother was shocked to learn about his gang involvement and criminal activities. He also mentions that his father had a warrant for his arrest, which added to the family's distress. Chang admits to blocking off his emotions and connections with his family, as he believed that no one would come to his aid or understand his situation.
Finding Purpose in Prison
Chang describes his time in prison, where he met an older Asian cellmate who advised him to pursue education and anger management. He also delves into his experience with Buddhism and Sunni Islam, as well as his struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. He reflects on the impact of his friend's death and the trauma he experienced during his time in prison.
Meeting the Pastor
Chang shares a pivotal moment in his life when he met a pastor who helped him make sense of his emptiness. The pastor used analogies to explain that his father, who struggled with alcoholism, was like a house being vandalized by sin. This perspective helped Chang humanize his father and feel compassion for him, leading to a shift in his mindset.
Apologizing to His Father
The pastor encouraged Chang to apologize to his father, which initially seemed unthinkable to him. However, he realized that carrying the burden of victimhood and resentment was making him miserable. The pastor's analogy of apologizing as an antidote to free him from his emotional turmoil resonated with Chang and motivated him to take the first step towards healing.
Impact of the Pastor's Guidance
Chang reflects on the impact of the pastor's guidance, acknowledging that it helped him understand his own emotions and experiences. He also shares how his gang members and friends supported him as he embarked on a journey of personal growth and transformation. He expresses gratitude for the pastor's wisdom and the role it played in shaping his new perspective on life.
Turning to Faith
Chang discusses his journey to faith and the role of Christianity in his transformation. He shares a Bible verse that resonated with him and helped him understand the concept of grace and redemption. He emphasizes the importance of trusting in a higher power and finding peace through faith. He discusses the impact of individualism and the need to trust in something greater than oneself. He shares his experiences of helping others and the role of faith in guiding his actions and decisions.
Dealing with Judgment and Change
Chang reflects on the challenges of changing his life and the judgment he faced from others. He discusses the importance of not taking criticism personally and focusing on personal growth and inner peace. He also shares his experiences of helping others who have faced similar struggles and finding joy in seeing their transformation.
Advice for Those Struggling
Chang offers advice to those who are struggling, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and acknowledging the need for change. He encourages individuals to embrace the pain of failure and use it as a catalyst for growth. He also highlights the importance of seeking guidance and learning from mentors and others who can offer support.
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