My Life as the KKK Leader
Added: Apr 2, 2024
In this podcast episode, TM Garret, a former neo-nazi and KKK member, shares his story of transformation and redemption. Growing up in a small town in Germany in the 1970s, Garret faced challenges from a young age. His parents had a drinking problem, and he grew up without a father figure, feeling misunderstood and lacking emotional care.
Early Life
As a child, Garret struggled in school, feeling like an outsider and being bullied by his peers. He found solace in music, particularly English-language rock and glam rock bands, which sparked his interest in learning English. However, as he entered his teenage years, Garret's life took a dark turn when he became involved with a group of skinheads at school.
Joining the Skinhead Movement
Garret was drawn to the skinhead movement, seeking a sense of identity and belonging. He embraced the hate-filled rhetoric and violence that came with being part of the group, finding a sense of power and control that he had never experienced before. The skinheads became his family, understanding him in a way that others did not. The skinhead group provided Garret with a sense of purpose and validation, as he engaged in acts of violence and intimidation against those they perceived as enemies. He found a sense of camaraderie and belonging among his fellow skinheads, feeling empowered by their shared beliefs and actions.
The Shift to Nationalism
Garret's involvement in the skinhead movement eventually led him to embrace nationalism and white supremacy. He found a sense of purpose in hating those who were different from him, believing that he was defending his country and his race from perceived threats. Music played a significant role in Garret's radicalization process. As he started writing his own lyrics and performing songs that promoted hate and violence, he became further entrenched in extremist ideologies. The music served as a platform for spreading propaganda and reinforcing his beliefs.
The Impact of the Internet
The advent of the internet in the late 1990s opened up new avenues for Garret to connect with like-minded individuals from around the world. Chat rooms and online forums exposed him to a global network of extremists who shared similar views on race, nationalism, and anti-Semitism. One pivotal moment in Garret's radicalization was when he was introduced to the anti-Semitic conspiracy theory known as the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. This fabricated document fueled his hatred towards Jews and solidified his belief in a global Jewish conspiracy to control the world.
Starting His Own KKK Group
Garret shares his involvement in extremist groups, including starting his own Ku Klux Klan group in Germany. He discusses the recruitment process, the influence of American groups, and the infiltration of society with members in key positions. Garret also talks about the paranoia and fear that consumed him during his time in the extremist movement.
Realization and Change
Garret recounts a pivotal moment when he began to question his beliefs. He describes meeting his Turkish immigrant landlord and the gradual humanization of individuals he once viewed as enemies. He reflects on the realization that his hate was unfounded and the process of unwrapping the layers of indoctrination and prejudice that had consumed him.
Garret shares the challenges and struggles he faced during his deradicalization process. He discusses the importance of confronting his past, acknowledging the harm he caused, and seeking redemption. He emphasizes the need to unlearn hate and embrace empathy and understanding towards others.
Impact and Regrets
Garret expresses regret for his past actions and the harm he caused through his music and involvement in extremist groups. He acknowledges the lingering impact of his past beliefs and the difficulty of moving forward. He reflects on the guilt he carries for the influence he had on others and the damage he cannot undo.
The decision to leave Germany
Eventually, Garret made the decision to leave Germany and start a new life in the United States. He sought refuge in a new country, hoping to leave his past behind and start fresh. He moved to Memphis, a city with a 70% black population. This exposure allowed him to connect with the black community and realize that they are just like him and his family. He learned that people, regardless of race, share similar concerns and joys. This realization shattered his preconceived notions and stereotypes, leading him to see the humanity in everyone. He began to build a new life for himself and also met his wife during this time.
Becoming a Normal Member of Society
For years, he tried to bury his past, pretending to be a normal member of society while grappling with the guilt and shame of his former beliefs. Garret's fear of rejection was a constant companion, as he worried about how his friends, family, and colleagues would react if they discovered his past. The fear of being labeled a Nazi and the belief that people don't change haunted him, making it challenging for him to fully embrace his new identity.
The constant struggle with his past
Despite his efforts to move on, Garret's past continued to haunt him. Media attention and public scrutiny brought his past back to the surface, forcing him to confront his demons once again. The relentless reminders of his past made Garret realize that he could not escape his history, but he could choose how to confront it.
A Life-Changing Encounter in Los Angeles
Garret's perspective continued to shift when he visited the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles. The exhibit on the Holocaust deeply impacted him, prompting him to reflect on his past and confront the hate he once harbored. This experience inspired him to start telling his story and educating others about the dangers of hate and prejudice.
Sharing his story
Garret's experiences led him to connect with organizations that help individuals leave hate groups. He found solace in sharing his story, reflecting on his journey, and writing about his experiences. Through this process, Garret found the courage to confront his past and use it as a tool for growth and understanding.
Becoming a Human Rights Activist
Following a tragic event at a synagogue in Pittsburgh, Garret felt compelled to take action. He began speaking at universities and engaging with the Jewish community, further expanding his understanding and empathy towards different cultures and religions. This led to the creation of the "tattoo campaign," where he helps individuals cover up hate and gang tattoos for free, enabling them to reintegrate into society.
Overcoming Guilt and Regret
Garret acknowledges his past mistakes and regrets the influence he had on others through his hate-filled teachings. However, he has learned to forgive himself and focus on making amends by helping others break free from hate groups. He emphasizes the importance of treating others with respect and understanding, regardless of their beliefs or background.
The Power of Communication and Respect
Garret believes that change takes time and requires open communication and mutual respect. By engaging with individuals who hold extremist views, he aims to lead by example and show them compassion and understanding. He highlights the importance of listening to others' fears and addressing them with empathy, as hate often stems from deep-seated insecurities and misconceptions.
Embracing Unconditional Love
Through his journey of self-discovery and transformation, Garret has come to understand the value of unconditional love and acceptance. He encourages others to seek help and support when struggling and emphasizes the importance of reaching out to those in need. By fostering a culture of understanding and compassion, Garret believes that we can create a more inclusive and harmonious society.