Rewire Limiting Beliefs, Heal Your Wounded Parts & Find Inner Freedom | Gabby Bernstein

Added: Dec 12, 2024

The Journey of Healing

Gabby begins by emphasizing that the journey of healing is fundamentally about undoing the false pretenses we place upon ourselves. Regardless of our upbringing, everyone experiences some form of trauma, which can manifest as feelings of shame, inadequacy, or terror. These experiences are often too intense for children to process, leading them to develop protective mechanisms. Gabby explains that these protectors can take various forms, such as people-pleasing or seeking validation. Through the practice of IFS, individuals can dismantle these protective layers, allowing their true selves to emerge.

The process of healing is not merely about addressing symptoms; it involves recognizing that these protectors are not who we are but rather parts of our complex inner landscape. Gabby highlights the importance of self-acceptance and understanding that every part of us, even those we deem negative, serves a purpose. This perspective fosters compassion and allows for a more profound connection to our authentic selves.

Understanding Internal Family Systems

Gabby introduces the concept of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS posits that our psyche is composed of various parts, each with its own role and function. These parts can be categorized into protectors and exiles. Protectors are the parts that shield us from emotional pain, while exiles are the wounded parts that hold our trauma. Gabby explains that IFS is not about focusing on our external family dynamics but rather exploring our internal family of parts.

The beauty of IFS lies in its ability to help individuals recognize and honor their protectors while also understanding the exiled parts they are safeguarding. Gabby emphasizes that healing occurs when we can calm these protectors, allowing our true self—characterized by qualities such as calmness, compassion, and creativity—to emerge. This process is essential for fostering a deeper connection with ourselves and others.

The Four-Step Check-In Process

Gabby shares a practical four-step check-in process that listeners can use to engage with their inner parts. The first step is to choose to check in with oneself rather than checking out when faced with emotional triggers. This choice creates a moment of awareness, allowing individuals to pause and reflect on their feelings. Gabby encourages listeners to notice when a part of them is activated, such as feelings of anxiety or anger.

The second step involves becoming curious about the activated part. Gabby suggests asking questions like, "Where do I feel this in my body?" or "What does this part want me to know?" This inquiry fosters a deeper understanding of the part's origins and motivations. The third step is to compassionately connect with the part by asking what it needs. This connection can reveal profound insights and help individuals address their emotional needs. Finally, the fourth step involves checking for the qualities of the self, such as calmness and confidence, to gauge the effectiveness of the process.

The Role of Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is a recurring theme in Gabby's discussion. She emphasizes that true healing begins with accepting all parts of ourselves, including those we may perceive as negative. By welcoming these parts to the metaphorical dinner table, we create space for healing and growth. Gabby highlights that self-acceptance is not about condoning harmful behaviors but rather acknowledging the underlying motivations behind them.

Gabby also discusses the paradox of self-acceptance, noting that it can sometimes feel like a project of the divided self. However, by recognizing that we are not solely defined by our parts, we can cultivate a deeper sense of self that transcends these identities. This understanding allows individuals to embrace their complexity and fosters a more compassionate relationship with themselves.

The Importance of Curiosity

Curiosity plays a vital role in the healing process. Gabby encourages listeners to approach their inner parts with a sense of wonder rather than judgment. This shift in perspective can lead to profound insights and a greater understanding of one's emotional landscape. By asking open-ended questions and exploring the motivations behind our behaviors, we can uncover the root causes of our struggles.

Gabby shares her personal experience of being a fixer, often wanting to provide solutions to others' problems. However, she emphasizes the importance of allowing space for curiosity instead of rushing to fix things. This approach not only benefits our relationships with others but also enhances our self-inquiry process. By cultivating curiosity, we can create a more compassionate and understanding inner dialogue.

The Interplay of Spirituality and Psychology

Throughout the conversation, Gabby highlights the interplay between spirituality and psychology. She acknowledges that many individuals on a spiritual path may inadvertently engage in spiritual bypassing, avoiding their emotional pain in favor of transcendent experiences. Gabby emphasizes that true spiritual growth involves facing our wounds and integrating them into our understanding of self.

Gabby shares her own journey of navigating spirituality and psychology, noting that her meditation practice has been instrumental in her healing. She encourages listeners to embrace both aspects, recognizing that they can coexist harmoniously. By integrating psychological insights with spiritual practices, individuals can cultivate a more holistic approach to healing.

The Role of Medication in Healing

Gabby addresses the often-taboo topic of medication in the healing process. She shares her experience with postpartum depression and the importance of recognizing when medication is necessary. Gabby emphasizes that seeking help through medication does not negate one's spiritual journey; rather, it can be a vital component of healing.

She encourages listeners to approach medication with an open mind, recognizing that it can provide the support needed to navigate challenging emotional states. Gabby advocates for a balanced perspective that acknowledges the value of both holistic practices and modern medicine. By doing so, individuals can create a comprehensive approach to their well-being.

The Power of Community and Connection

Gabby underscores the significance of community and connection in the healing journey. She shares her experiences of leading workshops and connecting with others who are on similar paths. Gabby emphasizes that sharing our stories and struggles can create a sense of belonging and support, which is essential for healing.

The power of community lies in its ability to foster understanding and compassion. Gabby encourages listeners to seek out supportive environments where they can share their experiences and learn from others. By connecting with like-minded individuals, we can create a network of support that enhances our healing journey.

Embracing the Complexity of Self

Gabby discusses the complexity of self and the importance of embracing all aspects of our identity. She acknowledges that we are not defined solely by our traumas or our protective mechanisms; rather, we are multifaceted beings with a rich inner landscape. By recognizing and honoring this complexity, we can cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and acceptance.

Gabby encourages listeners to explore their various parts without judgment, allowing for a more nuanced understanding of their experiences. This exploration can lead to greater self-compassion and a more profound connection to our authentic selves. Embracing the complexity of self is a crucial step in the journey toward healing and inner freedom.

The Journey Toward Inner Freedom

The ultimate goal of Gabby's work is to guide individuals toward inner freedom. She emphasizes that this freedom is not about eliminating all pain or discomfort but rather about cultivating a sense of safety and acceptance within ourselves. By engaging with our inner parts and fostering self-compassion, we can create a more harmonious relationship with ourselves.

Gabby shares her vision of a world where individuals can embrace their true selves without fear or shame. She believes that by doing the inner work, we can contribute to a collective healing process that benefits not only ourselves but also those around us. The journey toward inner freedom is a lifelong process, but it is one that is deeply rewarding and transformative.